11.23.2014

With a Heavy Heart

Tonight I write with such a heavy heart.  As I try to find the words to write my heart is truly breaking.

As I was deleting months of emails that had built up on my computer I came across this email from my friend Fransje.  She is the younger sister of my Pi Phi little sister.  She was always so special to me and was actually one of Lucy's nurses at St. Jude.  As I read the email her words pierced my heart like a dagger.  She was speaking of my faith.

"And that something special is a real, raw faith in God. A faith that is not about anything but you and God. It is not something you have to speak out... It's just something that is there, part of you."

Oh how I needed to read her words.  One of the precious little girls that I have asked you to pray for passed away tonight.  Lillie is now at the throne of Jesus while the rest of us are left here grasping and begging for answers.  I have seen Jesus work miracles.  My own child has literally been risen from near death.  I know HE could have saved her.

But why?  Why didn't He?  Why didn't God choose Lillie to stay on this earth?  Why didn't he heal her and leave her here with her parents?  Just imagine the number of people who could have been saved through her miraculous healing.  Hers could have been a story of miraculous proportions.  Just imagine.....

I want to effortlessly segue this rant into a great Biblical lesson but I'm having a hard time doing that tonight.  These events are the ones that rock your faith to the core.  But Fransje reminded me through her perfectly timed email that I do have faith.  Even though tonight it seems so little it's there.  It's a part of me.  It's the faith that has been growing inside of me since I was 8 years old and asked Jesus to live in my heart.

My faith doesn't dictate that I don't question, though.  That's an important aspect to understand about God.  He wants us to question.  He wants us to ask why.  It's in those conversations that He speaks to us and reassures us that through this chaos, fear and doubt He is there.  Always there.  He has promised in his Word to never forsake us.  He is with us to the ends of the Earth.

Tonight I will go to bed with tear stained cheeks and a broken heart.  I will cling to the Father and ask that he give Lillie's parents the peace and grace that only He can provide.  The hell that her parents face tomorrow is more than any parent should ever live.  As life dictates, we will all soon go back to our own lives.  Mothers will be fussing about their children, fathers will be complaining about their jobs.  We will all be wrapped up in our daily lives, all too concerned about fairly inconsequential issues.  Lillie parents, however, will never be the same.  They lost their only child tonight.  I don't even know how they begin to breathe without their child.

But God....

God alone will meet their needs.  He will guide their steps and see them through each day.  I just ask that each and every one of you do two things:

1.  Hug your child, children or grandchildren a little harder tonight.
2.  Remember Lillie's family in your daily prayers as they learn to live again.

This life on Earth is temporal and we all know that too well, but no one is ever prepared to say goodbye to a child.  May we break down the gates of heaven with our prayers for this family tonight.


11.17.2014

We made it home and everyone was so glad to sleep in their own bed last night. 


This picture of Jack pretty much sums everyone up. I don't think there is an awake person in this house beside me and Ella. She would be asleep too but she is in major make-up work mode. 

I think the thing that has stuck with me the most from last week was the constant reminder of what a miracle Luxy is. There is no reason, but God, that she is here. There are so many sick children in this world. There are also so many kids who would give anything to be able to walk and run and play like Lucy. 


As hard as it is for Lucy sometimes, I can't seem to get last week off my mind. We were with some children with major physical disabilities. It was a good dose of thankfulness all week. 

Our town is being rocked right now with hurt and despair and lots of questioning. 
A friend of mine, a young mother age 36, died of a massive heart attack last week. A 6 year old girl is being sent home on hospice due to her body succumbing to cancer, a family lost everything in a terrible fire. I don't understand any of it neither can I even begin to wrap my head around these families moving forward. 

My problems are small and Lucy's life is blessed. No, it's not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. But we have each other and we have a strong relationship with God. In the end, Lucy will be made whole and I will have no worries or fears.  

My prayer for these families mentioned is that the God of all, the King of Kings, the healer, will bless them with comfort, peace and understanding. I ask your prayers for them all. 

11.14.2014

Champion Update



We have one night left on this 10 day whirl-wind adventure. The whole family must be running on adrenaline at the point. I can't wait to go back and look at all my pictures. I'm sure so many things happened while I was busy just being in every moment. 


Today was our first real free day, minus Lucy's tv interview with Miss America. By the way, she rocked it!  It was her first time to really speak in an interview alone and fairy uncoached. 


I start to become anxious as I think about going back home, laundry, make up homework, Christmas.....

Tomorrow, I will enjoy the day. There will be plenty of time to worry the next day. Because, as I've been harshly reminded this week, life is so short. Enjoy the miracles that every day brings. 


11.09.2014

Out Nation's Capital


Tonight I'm posting from my phone on protest. We are staying in on of the nicest hotels in Washington, DC and there is no free wi-fi. I've stayed at Holiday Inn Expresses all over the country with free internet so I refuse to pay $16 a day for it now. I know I'm being stubborn but Id rather save my money for Disney!


Lucy is here for the Children's Miracle Network Hospital's Champion trip. She is representing Tennessee on this once in a lifetime trip. We came up early on Friday to spend time with Erik's sister who lives just minutes away. We have had an amazing weekend, craming in every museum and memorial we could. 


Tomorrow, Lucy and I get to go the White House to meet the First Lady. Whatever your policital preference, this is an amazing opportunity. I'll be sure to post pictures (if we are allowed to take pictures.)

Today we really focused on the war memorials. My children have never had to live through a war that actually affected their lives. Erik and I tried really hard to tell them about each war and what it meant to our country. I think the Vietnam Memorial had the greatest impact on Ella. There were grown men and women who were in tears as they looked at their loved ones names. It was a very moving experience. 


I'll continue to post as the week goes on. It's going to be a whirlwind adventure but we are so excited and ready!  


 

11.02.2014

Happy to Report...

I'm very happy to report that everyone in the Krull house is doing well.  Tonight Erik and I gave our testimony to our church and we did it with only a few tears.  I don't know if it will ever be easy to tell Lucy's story but I feel honored each time we are asked.  We did a question and answer interview and I really liked that format.  It allowed me to tell the story without chasing too many rabbits.  Because you all know, there were lots of rabbit holes along the way.  


We all made it through last week, surviving one of my least favorite holidays of them all. I know some people just love it but Halloween just gives me a headache.  I will say, though, that my kids were adorable!



Ella chose her own costume, which was a graffiti girl.  Don't ask...I don't know.  She found it, wanted it and loved it (and looked beautiful!)  Lucy was the most beautiful Anna in all the world and Jack was just a hot mess.  His church costume was the Transformer, Bumblebee.  His Halloween night costume was a "dost," or a ghost to the rest of us.  The ghost costume was a $4.97 costume I found at Wal-Mart that was just awful.  I tried to convince him to buy any costume but the ghost but he had his mind made up.  That boy is going to do me in, I promise!

During all of this Halloween chaos, Ella was inducted into our school's inaugural Junior Honor Society.  I am beyond proud of Ella and the children who were chosen for this wonderful honor.  Being a small, start-up school has had its challenges, but its so rewarding when all of this hard work and dedication starts paying off.  (I have pictures of this but I can't upload them tonight for some reason.)

To cap the week off Erik and I received an amazing surprise.  The Go Lucy Go Foundation was awarded a $20,000 grant from Valero (oil refinery.)  We knew that we were chosen as one of 20 charities in Memphis to received a grant but we never dreamed it would be such a large amount.  We are honored and excited to put this money to good use.  God continues to bless our efforts with the Foundation and we are eternally grateful.