Gentle Reminders

I wallowed in self pity for most of the day today. I cried a lot. Really, like a whole lot.

Lucy is fine (medically.). We are just having to make some hard choices right now related to school. Please just keep us in your prayers.

But tonight I want to share with you something that has me torn apart. It served as a great reminder that I'm not the only one in this world that is suffering.

A sorority sister of mine and her husband (who was a fraternity brother of Erik's) had a little baby boy last week. They knew he would be born with half a heart so they have been preparing for a really rough road ahead of them. Caleb is his name and he is not doing well.

Please stop right now and pray for Caleb and his parents. Our lives have been sustained by the prayers that have been sent up for us on a daily basis. I am confident that your prayers for Caleb, Ashley and Zach will be heard.

Silence

I've been quite lately.  It's not that I haven't had anything to say, but rather I haven't known how to say it.  I'm struggling.  Some days it's hard to even walk out of the house.  The weight of Lucy's current reality is hard.  I pray about it and I seek guidance but my fleshly desire to make things better only keeps me from ever finding peace.

Every day I try to figure out how to fix the situation.  Every day I wait until I pick Lucy up from school to find out if the day was good or bad.  Was she able to focus today?  Did she read today?  Did she cry 4 or 5 times?  The impending end-of-school has me beside myself.  Will she be ready for 1st grade?  Will a summer of tutoring get her up to speed?

And because I can't find the answers and I can't fix the problem, I keep moving.  Moving in 5 directions all at once.  Moving to the point of it all falling apart.  Staying still only allows my mind to fixate on the really crappy situation Lucy (and we) are in.  Please don't preach or judge.  I do realize how fortunate we are to have Lucy with us.  I know what a blessing it is that she is even alive.  It still doesn't change the fact that cancer stripped her of her independence, her freedom and her mind to a degree.  I will live with this for the rest of my life.  It is such a heavy elephant on my chest that I can hardly breathe sometimes.

Every night we read Ella and Lucy's devotional book, Jesus Calling for Children. This past week, there was one entry that really spoke to me.  It said "Sometimes when you try to be still, fears and worries creep into your mind.  The you start planning ways to avoid the things that scare you."

I couldn't have said it better.  Those sentences were written about me.  The problem is, I'm not sure how to stop.  How do I fix it?  So far, I'm failing miserably.

I want to say thank you for all the wonderfully positive comments that were left on this blog and my Facebook page about our TV spot.  We were honored to be apart of it but I have to admit that it was hard watching it being replayed.  I've cried a lot since they aired.  It's all a process, I know.  I'll eventually come to grips with our new reality, but right now its not easy.

Lucy's Story Part Two

(don't forget to turn the music off at the bottom of the page)

Here is the the link to part two of Lucy's story.    HERE or http://www.myfoxmemphis.com/story/22081160/krull-blog-makes-more-miracles-for-le-bonheur



Our family is so honored to have had this opportunity to share Lucy's story.  While Lucy is incredible and deserves a lot of the credit for her hard work and determination, this story is really about God.  It's a story about a gracious God choosing to perform a miracle in Lucy's life.  Our family's hope is that we can continue to share this story for many years to come.  We ask for your prayers as we seek God's will for Lucy's life and the direction of the Go Lucy Go Foundation.

We are so very grateful for our life.

Part 1 of Lucy's Story

Lucy's story made the news tonight. Here is the video.  Please be sure to turn the music off at the bottom of the page.      If the video doesn't appear, please click HERE to go to the Fox News website.

The second part of the story will run tomorrow night.  Thank you all for loving our daughter and supporting us through the darkest days.

Destined for Greatness

It's 10:15 pm and I'm just finally sitting down for the first time today. It's been another crazy day.  This morning Jack and I ran errands and did massive amounts of laundry.  I am so blessed that he is such a good child.  He just goes with the flow and plays so well independently when I need him to.  We did take time to have some sticker fun before we went to Wal-Mart.  As organized as I try to be, it seems as if I'm at Wal-Mart every day!

This afternoon was drama practice for our school musical.  I think I mentioned that Amanda and I are directing this year's drama with the help of our friend Tina.  Neither of us have a theater background but I think we are putting together a really nice production.  I've been working on this while planning the race, but now that the race is over the musical has my full attention.  We are painting our set tomorrow night and I'm excited to see it all come together.

Lucy had a ballgame and Ella had her competition team tryout.  I'm happy to report that both girls did great. Ella has never cheered before but it seemed to come fairly naturally for her tonight.  We will find out Thursday which team she has made.

Lucy played with her team tonight and had a lot of fun.  Please don't freak out Tracy or Dr. W.  She hit off of the tee and there is no play on her hit.  She is the last batter and the team just lets her run to first base.  I know it doesn't mean anything to the outcome of the game but this little girl feels amazing being part of this team.  I am so grateful for my friends who are coaching.  They are going out of their way--actually, the whole league is--to make her feel "normal."  She tires easily and her legs ache when she's done.  Tonight she ran from home to first base 3 times (really slowly) and hurt every step of the way.  Lucy is so tough and she didn't let it get the best of her.  I'm so proud of my baby girl.  

I'd be remiss not to include this in my day's post.  Santa brought this book to Jack for Christmas.  When he sits still long enough for me to read to him, this is his pick.  I love this book, as it reminds me of my Dad and grandfather.  I grew up around these machines and often thought about having a son to follow in their footsteps.  Now that Erik is part of the construction business it stands to reason that Jack might have a shot!

Who knows what God has planned for my precious boy.  I can tell you this for sure, though.  He is destined for greatness.

Special report....if you are local, Fox 13 News will be running a 2 part story on Lucy, her story and the Go Lucy Go Foundation this week. The first part will run on Wednesday at 9:00 and then will run again during the Thursday morning news. The second part will run Thursday night at 9:00 and then will run again Friday morning. I will try to link to their website once it goes live.

We are still recovering from the race. My body feels as if I ran a 10k! Ella had a softball game tonight and Lucy has her turn tomorrow on her honorary team. Ella is trying out for a spot on the local competitive tumbling team tomorrow night and then there are two more softball games this week. We are gearing up for our school's Spring musical. I'm directing the drama and Ella has one of the lead roles. Wow! We are busy.

I am absolutely loving life right now. All this busyness feels so "normal." Thank you Lord Jesus for this amazing blessing.

Race Recap

Well, we did it!  The race was a HUGE success.  This year's race far surpassed anything we could have ever imagined.  We don't have a total of the amount raised yet but I can tell you that 561 runners crossed the finish line and 100 children participated in the Kids Fun Run!  Can you believe it?!

I have to brag for a moment and tell you that Ella ran the 5k and finished 1st in her age division.  She ran it in 34 min.  I am beyond proud of her.  If that wasn't enough, she decided to run an additional 3/4 mile with the other children.  She is so awesome.

I will have some nice pictures of the race to post later, but I wanted to share a few from my iPhone.  Thank you all for your prayers and support.  I am so excited about continuing the work of the Go Lucy Go Foundation and I am anxious to see what God has planned for and through us!

Why We Race

Those that have read my blog for a while know our story.  You have lived our lives with us for two long years now.  I thank you for reading and praying.  Our family is forever grateful.

For those of you who are new, I wanted to take this opportunity to tell you why we race.  Why a 5k?  It's a funny thing, really.  I am not a runner.  I don't even pretend to like running.  However, two of my best friends are devoted (obsessed) runners.  When Lucy first got sick I honestly believe that God laid on their hearts the idea of a 5k in Lucy's honor.  I am so thankful that they listened to His calling and I believe that God has chosen to bless their faithfulness.  The first race was a great success, the second was larger than we could have imagined.  This year's race is going to far exceed any expectation that any of us might have had.

The money that is raised will be completely earmarked for the Go Lucy Go Foundation's work at LeBonheur Children's Research Hospital.  If you want to know why we race, please read the post that I was asked to write for LeBonheur's Practical Parenting Blog.

Becoming a mother was, by far, the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. I call it a blessing to have had this honor 3 times.  I think the most profound realization came when I first held my children and immediately realized that I had never felt such feelings of love.  In an instant your whole purpose for living changes, as does your role as a woman.  You become nurturer, provider, sustainer, protector and comforter.  Hands down, becoming a mother is my greatest accomplishment. 

I read a quote once that said “No one will ever know the strength of my love for you.  After all, you’re the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.”  Most moms never get to prove their love to their children in as dramatic fashion as I have.  When my almost 5 year old daughter, Lucy, was diagnosed with Medulloblastoma, cancer of the brain and spine, our lives turned upside down.  For two years I held my daughter as she fought for her life.  Through her journey I found a strength that I never knew I possessed.

My husband and I vowed that even if cancer took Lucy’s health it would never take our lives.  We praise God daily for his healing blessings and we have pledged our lives to helping others who are going through similar situations.  The time we spent at LeBonheur Children’s Hospital opened our eyes to a world to which we had never been exposed.  Quite honestly, it is a world I wish I never knew.

When I look back on our time at LeBonheur I am reminded of what led our family to create a non-profit organization in our daughter’s honor.  The Go Lucy Go Foundation helps support families that are coping with the diagnosis of brain cancer.  The Neuroscience Institute at LeBonheur is one of the top neuroscience programs in the country and families from all over the world come here for surgery and treatment.  During our two years of being in and out of the hospital for weeks at a time, we came to empathize with the families who were walking in shoes that were once ours. 

Through the Go Lucy Go Foundation we strive to meet the non-medical needs of these families by providing a food pantry, individual refrigerators for the patient rooms and grants to help parents pay for things such as food, housing, and utility payments.  One of the first things we learned after Lucy was diagnosed was that our only concern was caring for our sick daughter.  We don’t want families to be torn between being by the side of a sick or dying child and working to make sure they have food.  The Foundation also helps provide rehabilitation equipment for the Neuroscience floor and we provide hot, catered meals for the families and staff throughout the year.  Giving back to the hospital and the families it serves is our way of honoring the nurses, doctors and staff who became and remain part of our family. 

It's not to late to be a part of this year's race.  Registration is closed online but you can still sign up the morning of the race. 

I'm leaving you with a reason to smile.  If anyone knows of any contact in the Zac Brown Band, please tell them "thank you" for us.  The song Chicken Fried became Lucy's anthem while she was receiving treatment. It didn't matter the time of day or how badly she was feeling, she would sing this song.  We played this song over and over quietly in her room last June when we thought she was dying.  When she woke from the coma and the doctors told us she had very little brain activity we know they were wrong when she would be right on time with a word or two from this song.  It's funny, I won't listen to this song alone.  I just can't.  But if Lucy is with me we both sing to the top of our lungs!  (Be sure to turn the music off at the bottom of the page.)

Thankful

Tonight I am very thankful.

Thankful for a loving community that has embraced our family; especially our daughter Lucy. I am thankful for the open arms in which she is welcomed.

My heart is overflowing.


**tomorrow at midnight, online registration cuts off for the race. If you want to be guaranteed your shirt size the day of the race you must register by tomorrow. Day of race registration will be an additional $5. Visit www.golucygo.org to register.

My prayers for all whose lives have been changed forever.  May God be with you.

Plans

My plans for a perfect Spring night include chalk drawings and roasting marshmallows. How about you?

The Race Shirt Unveiled

It's almost here!!!!

(This year's shirt is red.  I think it's really great!)

Next Wednesday, April 17th, is the last day to register online.  That means that if you want to be a Spirit Runner (we will mail you a shirt) you have to register by that date.  We will not be taking any shirt orders after that time.  If you want to run/walk the race you can still register the day of the race.

**Spirit Runners that are local MUST pick up their shirts either Friday or Saturday of the race. **

Some of you have asked about the race route.  One of our race directors sent me this link to the race route.  .  http://www.mapmyrun.com/routes/copy/180362136/  

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Today, I took the girls (and Jack) on a field trip.  I can, without a doubt, say this was the most interesting field trip I've ever been on.  It was 48 degrees, it rained all day and we were at the Memphis Redbirds stadium.  I was very disappointed that the kids didn't get to see a baseball game and I grew weary, quickly, of the cold rain. But, it was hard staying too upset when I looked around and saw the kids having a blast.  They didn't care that it was cold and raining.  Oh, to be young again.  

Lucy and her assistant at school, Mrs. Jennifer, both took a nap on the way home.  I love this woman!

In other news, the winners from the Mucinex and Boudreaux's Butt Paste posts have been randomly drawn. Blogher will be contacting you if your name is listed below.

Mucinex
post 1 winner: 

jalapenomama   

post 2 winner:

Kathrync           

post 3 winner:

ky2here

Boudreaux's:

Dawn Schmidt    

Easter Recap

 My life has changed a lot from a year ago.  This time last year we were barely keeping our heads above water with Lucy's health.  Every day seemed to be shadowed with a dark cloud of despair.  These days things seem to be going so well.  I try not to get too far ahead of myself, but planning for our future is so encouraging now.  God has chosen to bless our family and we are truly living every day to the absolute fullest.

I can't believe I'm just getting around to posting our Easter pictures. All this living life to the fullest has us awfully busy, but we love it.  As we were gone the entire week before Easter, we missed a lot of Easter festivities.  We managed to get in the most important fun things in the two short days we had before returning to school.

Of course, top on our list was dying Easter eggs.   Jack was the most excited, as this was the first year he could really participate.  Five spilled cups of Easter egg dye later, we had some really "colorful" creations.  I was so busy cleaning up messes that I hardly got to take any pictures.

Easter morning the kids woke up to three baskets filled with treats.  The Easter Bunny always brings a swimsuit (he's a very practical bunny) and then other little "happies."  

After church, we went to my parents house for Easter lunch.  We had a great egg hunt planned but rainy weather dampened our fun.  We still managed to have a great time with an inside egg hunt.  We got rather creative with our hiding places...look at the picture below of my grandparents.  

After we finished our egg hunt, we celebrated my niece's birthday with some yummy gluten free cupcakes.  She, my mom and I share the same Celiac misfortune.  After more than two years, the GF baked goods are finally growing on me.  Everyone seemed to enjoy them.

I pray that your Easter was as blessed as mine.  I have been reminded on a daily bases of the reason we celebrated that very special day.  I hope you have, too.