12.10.2014

A Delayed Post

For those of you who regularly follow this blog you know that I have always posted the results from Lucy's scans the day of.  We've never had to wait longer than a few hours to get the results.  This time wasn't much different, except for the fact that we didn't share them after we got them.  When we met with Lucy's oncologist she told us the "scans looked good."  But then she added "but" to the sentence.  "There is a spot that showed up in the deep tissue.  We feel its probably just scar tissue."  This is when I said "yeah, I think we need to get Dr. C at LeBonheur to look over them.  You know, for a second opinion."

So, for the next 24 hours we didn't eat, sleep or breathe.  The places our minds went were places too familiar.  Horrible places with nightmare images.  The thoughts of "how do we make it through treatment again?"  "How will Lucy handle this"  "what will this do to Ella"  "what about Jack?"  Horrible, horrible thoughts.  Agonizing thoughts.

19 hours went by and we still hadn't heard from the doctors.  I then decided that albeit a little aggressive I would send Dr. W a text.  It went something like this

"Hey, thanks for being so attentive yesterday.  I haven't been able to eat, sleep or breathe since we last spoke.  It would mean a lot to me if you would make sure those scans get pushed over to Dr. C.  I know it might seem a tad irrational, but when you've been to hell it's not a place that easily escapes your mind.  Please don't make me stay here.  As always, we just adore you."

In the mean time I treated myself to a manicure, cleaned the house, went to the grocery store, wrote out to-do lists, and anything else to keep my mind occupied.

Being at St. Jude for the past 2 weeks has been really hard on my mental state.  As the years go by the return trips become more difficult.  Being surrounded by sick and dying children is not a natural way to spend a day.  Moms who are defeated, Dads who are emotionally tortured and children who have already lost their lives; even if still on this earth.

Around 5:30 last night we got news that the spot that showed up on the scans was determined to be a cavernoma, a bundle of blood vessels.  Basically scar tissue.  Praise God, praise God!  I don't understand His mercies or why he's chosen to continually spare Lucy's life.  I really can't even being to get my head around it.  But I am so grateful.  So, so grateful.

Today, we started living again.


31 comments:

  1. Thank God for this incredible news. I was almost afraid to check tonight... Hoping you all have a fabulous night's sleep! A long-time reader in WA state.

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  2. Praising God with you! So very happy to hear this news!!
    ❤️ Amy in Nashville

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  3. Have been waiting in Ohio..praise God!

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  4. You don't know me, and we will probably never meet, but I just wanted you to know that I have prayed for Lucy and your family for the last few years. I started reading your blog when Lucy was in the thick of things and some days your posts broke my heart so badly I couldn't even finish them. Still I prayed. Yesterday I prayed, and today I pray a prayer of thanks be to God. Go Lucy Go! Merry Christmas to you and you sweet family. -- love comes to you all the way from Washington State.

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  5. I'm so sorry for the torture and abject terror of the intolerable wait you and Eric endured. It is beyond comprehension. So grateful for the news. May the favor of Him who dwelt in the burning bush be upon your family.

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  6. what wonderful news praise god

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  7. What a wonderful gift. Praise God!

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  8. Thrilled to hear the good news. Big hugs to Lucy!
    Love from Julie in Australia

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  9. Thank goodness. I could not breathe until the end of the post. So happy for Lucy!!!

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  10. Praying for your family and Lucy...I do not personally know you but have been following your blog for some time now..I cannot imagine what you have been through or going through, but your faith touches me in every aspect. Merry Christmas to you and your family and may God continue to bless.

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  11. Thank you God, for continuing to bless Lucy and her family. Hope you have a wonderful holiday. Love from Melissa in CT.

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  12. Praise God for good news! Enjoy living.

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  13. Very relieved in Little Rock!

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  14. Wonderful news! Saying a prayer of thanksgiving now.

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  15. Praise God!!!! That's such wonderful news.

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  16. Awesome news!! I pray for Lucy every night! Y'all have a Merry Christmas!

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  17. So thankful for the good news! I've been nervous since your last post! I know you will have a very blessed Christmas!

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  18. I think we have all waited.. I told my husband something isn't right.. She hasn't said the scans are clear.. So happy all lis well.. Prayers for you and all the family..
    Nancy

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  19. So glad for the good news! I can't imagine how you endure the waiting.

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  20. So glad about your news! I think God has amazing plans for Lucy!!!

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  21. Praise God!! I can't imagine the turmoil you went through while waiting for those results. Thank You Father for taking such good care of Lucy.

    Praying and praying for you dear Lucy.
    <><

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  22. Thank god for this amazing news, Lucy is such a beautiful little girl and is going to do amazing things as she has already. She has proved to all what an amazing fighter she is as well as her amazing family. Thank you

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  23. That is such wonderful news! I pray that y'all have a Merry Christmas and God bless y'all too. I look forward to reading more blog posts in 2015.

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  24. Praise God from whom all blessings flow.....

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  25. God is good, all the time! So happy for you all!

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  26. As a Nana of 11 seemingly healthy grandchildren...I ached for you as I have read your blog almost since day 1...so thankful for your good news! I sat online yesterday...just watching your blog for the news! Praise our generous God!

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  27. Praise God---his mercies are new every day and I am so happy. I've been following your blog since basically Lucy was first sick and those days when you all were preparing to say goodbye I just knew it wasn't the end for her. It's not done till it's done and the Lord has shown he is a God of miracles through your little girl. I am so happy and praise God for her clean scans. Very Merry Christmas to you all!

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  28. Amen!!! How awful for them to have made you all wait so long! Glad you were able to text your doctor. We are not able to have our doctors' numbers here in Canada. You are a wonderful momma, and your kids are amazing!!! Blessings and Merry Christmas from BC, Canada!

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  29. AMEN and praise God from whom all blessings flow.

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