8.26.2014

No Longer Relevant

I began blogging many years ago and was popularly read by tens of people.  I was quite content just writing for myself, documenting the boring and mundane lives of my children.  Then Lucy became ill.  I don't know how it happened or even why anyone even cared about this particular child but people started reading.  Lots and lots of people.  I have always appreciated, but never asked for, "followers."  Those who genuinely care about Lucy and our family and have prayed over us for some many nights and days have literally changed our lives.  

Lucy and her fight against cancer will never end.  Ever.  The aftermath of treatment and the constant fear of recurrence is a reality that we live with every minute of every day.  I've been getting emails lately from people who are no longer following this blog because the "content is no longer relevant."  Please don't misunderstand.  I am not upset that someone would no longer be following.  I never sought recognition of any kind.  But man, those are hard words to hear and digest.  Lucy's "content" is our every breath.  Lucy's "content" dictates every decision we make in all aspects of our life.

For those of you who still pray for Lucy and our family I thank you from the bottom of my heart.  Our struggles are real and are present every day.  Lucy is an amazing child and inspires me daily as we walk hand in hand through this life that is so unknown to us.  Today was a hard day for this mom who so desperately wants nothing but a "normal" life for my child.  I would give anything in the world to take the struggles, the hurt and the headache away from her.

Tonight I want to encourage you to be kind to someone tomorrow.  Smile, say hello, offer to hold a door or simply say a breath prayer for a stranger or a friend.  So many of us walk around with a  Superwoman cape around our neck, and we never asked for it.  We didn't ask to be a super mom or we don't pretend to take joy in the constant demand to fight battles every day.  We are doing the best we can to keep our family together, to give our kids what they need to thrive, keep households from falling apart and at the very minimum trying not to have a nervous breakdown.

Every mom has challenges that they face everyday.  Moms of children with special needs face challenges that you could never even begin to imagine.  There are so many decisions to make and so many questions that go unanswered.  Quite possibly the hardest challenge is that are always so many tears to dry.  Be kind tomorrow.  You never know who's day you can change.

71 comments:

  1. Wow, just wow! Cancer is a never ending journey. I don't see how people can say the "content" is no longer relevant. Some people are just heartless.

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  2. I will continue to read your blog as long as you share it. I prayed for Lucy during her last crisis and I was thrilled to be a small part of that miracle. I would come here every day just to get a glimpse and reminder of that miracle.

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  3. I agree with the other two who commented. I have a child who is a cancer survivor...what he went through, what God has done in his life...is relevant. At least to our family. We never want to forget where God has done for us. I also have prayed for Lucy, and I am thrilled to read about her progress whenever I check your blog. I guess people are entitled to their opinions, and there are a million blogs we can all (quietly) choose to read. I can't figure out why they thought you needed to know why they were moving on. :)

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  4. How sad--for that person(s) that they are so ignorant or uncaring to say anything like that. They are the ones missing out on being relevant of content in life. I feel for them. I read your blog to see what you and your family have been up to, and to check in to see how little Lucy is doing. I pray for her and your family. I love seeing Lucy just participating in just normal life with her siblings and friends. All your children are so precious. Tonight I say a prayer for all the people who say cruel things that they may learn to be more understanding. And that they will have health and happiness in their lives and live with as much grace as you...Bless you all...

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  5. How very sad that people think the this blog is no longer relevant. I enjoy reading your blog and rejoice in Lucy's achievements as well as giggle at some stories about Jack. Ella seems to be flourishing and your family gave me hope last year when I entered a dark place in my life. Thank you for continuing to share your journey with us,

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  6. I've followed your blog for a little while now. I've never commented. To say that a personal blog's content is "no longer relavant" is just silly. Anyway, I'll keep sending up little prayers for you and your family from the middle of Minnesota. (And I'll still be jealous of your weather when it's 20 below zero here in January)

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  7. Well said Kate. I was asked to pray for Lucy, and your family, many years ago and I will continue to do so. I have two children, both of whom have very different special needs (lightening indeed strike our family twice!!), but I am Blessed to be their Mum and I am Blessed that God thought me worthy of the very unusual journey of parenting these gorgeous little folk.

    Thank you for sharing Lucy and your family with those of us lucky enough to follow you. I hope, many years from now, your blog provides you with an amazing journal of Lucy's triumph over cancer.

    God Bless from Australia

    M x

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    1. Totally agree with all being said. Kate, I wish I could just give you a huge hug.

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  8. We too have been following your blog for years. As long as you continue to share we will continue to read. Not only do we continue to pray for Lucy, we love reading and seeing what your gorgeous family are up to. Although we don't actually 'know you' we feel as though you and your family are good friends. Friends that we check up on regularly, friends that we hope are doing okay and friends that we continue to pray for. Go Lucy Go!

    From Julie In Australia

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  10. Kate,

    I don't know if you remember me, but I am a Delta Gamma who was attending U of M at the same time as you and Erik. I married an ATO brother of Erik's (Andy Hardison), and I wanted to let you know that we consistently follow your blog. I have never commented personally as so many people were reaching out that I thought you might be overwhelmed with so many responses. However, seeing this post about how people stated that this blog was no longer relevant made me think that you needed to hear how much of an impact that you are having on the world and even here in Memphis. I am a psychologist who works with many different psychological issues with grief, depression and anxiety being some of the most common issues I work with, and your honesty about what your family goes through on a daily basis helps me personally understand what families go through during a crisis. I read your blogs and think how brave and courageous you are to lay it all out there. You are one of the bravest women that I know. I hope you understand how important your honest words are to the rest of us. I haven't faced anything close to what you have, and I can only hope that I would be as strong as you are if I am ever tested in any similar way. By the way, I am also type A and OCD and I laugh alot at your posts where you struggle to organize everything in the midst of chaos. Your humor comes across even in the midst of your anxiety and grief. It is a pleasure to know you, and I love to keep up with you and Erik, Lucy, Ella and Jack. Your family is precious! Always hold them close! We keep you and your family in our thoughts and prayers daily. Please also tell Erik that Andy and I say hello! Stay strong and keep documenting your life, thoughts and struggles through this blog because I promise you that you are reaching people and having an impact on lives that you may never even know about but I know for a fact that the impact of your words is very powerful and significant!!!!

    Heather Gaines Hardison

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  11. I too have followed for years, and always keep Lucy and your entire family close to my heart Kate.
    The way you have continued to document this difficult journey is nothing short of inspirational.

    But, to be totally objective, I feel that comments like 'content is no longer relevant' probably have nothing to do with Lucy at all.

    People who have followed your Blog may have felt that at one point we were reading about your important family events (ski vacation, first day of school etc.) and suddenly found ourselves in the midst of an advertisement for trite items such as throat lozenges or paper towels.

    The 'change in content' from a personal family blog, detailing heartfelt emotions and daily struggle and triumph, to one which throws in random advertisements is always bound to be met with mixed reactions. Particularly by people who are not part of your daily life, and don't fully understand the motivation behind these posts.

    So take heart Kate. I am sure those who depart are not leaving because they no longer have an interest in Lucy, or indeed because they think that her struggles and triumphs are 'not relevant'.

    I hope my post does not cause you any further upset - I am simply trying to share a different perspective.

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  12. Someone sent me an e-card this week that read these words "God is up to something or the devil wouldn't be fighting you this hard." I immediately thought of it when I read your post. I can feel your love for Jesus radiating from your writing. Please do not stop. Lucy is a modern day miracle...a lazarus in the midst of 2014. I know you are honored to have received this miracle.

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  13. Hmm ... I wonder if these people go to other personal blogs (after all, aren't blogs normally about day to day lives?) and write, "Sorry, the content here is not relevant." I know it's hard not to let what others say bother you, but remember, they are only strangers with no real impact on your life. And as for throwing in posts that you get paid for, why not? We all like to make a little extra money. Shake it off, Kate, it does not matter what they say!

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  14. I wonder if it was just some automated selection thing? Like if they were inundated with posts from following too many blogs and had to select a reason? Otherwise, it's a little baffling. Regardless...I think there are a lot of us that follow your blog and just soak up the beautiful, wholesome, inspining journey that is your family. When I see that you've posted, it automatically brightens my day :)

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  15. Kate: I still follow your blog. You and your family are amazing. I guess one reason I follow your journey is your relationship with my daughter, Ashley Leon Lang. Your faith inspires me.
    Debbie Leon

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  16. Kate,

    You don't know me from Adam...but I have been following your blog too and please brush off what those people said. I can't believe that was written to you. Your life is relevant to you and your family and you give us a gift by opening up to us. You are an awesome mom, wife and philanthropist (did I spell that right)...I agree...be nice to people b/c it goes along way. Please, please let those mean comments roll off your back.

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  17. Kate - I believe that Heather has said it all. I don't know you personally but many folks know Go Lucy Go and Lucy because I never wear my shirt that folks don't want to know what it is about and it not only opens up the opportunity to share about children and cancer but also God 's Miracle Lazarus moment with Lucy. I feel honored to be able to pray for your family and blessed to be a part of it. Becky in NC

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  18. You don't know me either, but I feel as if I know you well. I love your family and enjoy seeing the "mundane" aspects you share - it makes my heart sing to know that Lucy and her siblings are doing things all kids do, having read the not-so-recent struggles. I can't help but notice how much healthier Lucy looks, too, with her full cheeks and sweet smile! Please don't let the haters bring you down...There are lots of us who still love your updates!!

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  19. I don't know why people feel they have to let you know why they are not following the blog. So they only care to follow if you are struggling and in misery? They don't want to see the joy and "normalcy" now? And as far as your advertisements (I'm looking at you Fiona) you have explained yourself several times. I have followed for years and I don't plan on stopping anytime soon. I'm so happy your family has recently experienced joy and fun times--you certainly deserve it.

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  20. still here, still following, still reading, still praying. STILL RELAVANT

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  21. I would like to say "Thank You" for sharing your family. :) And your heart... both the broken heart and the happy heart. It is encouraging to see prayers answered when you share your happy heart, and as we watch her growing, thriving, and meeting mile stones... and is encouraging that we have the privilege to take your girl to the feet of God, begging for healing and mercy as we know there are struggles that we don't "see" as she is growing and thriving. My boys still pray for "Lucy from Memphis" every night, (although I know she's not from Memphis, but that's where her hospital is)... and we just moved to Memphis last month, and they think that is totally cool, in addition to the fact that a STJ nurse whom we go to church with knows your girl. AND said, "I just love her mom!". :) Whether your story is "relevant" to anyone else, it's relevant to God... as He writes each page of your story, The Krull family is relevant to Him. And that's who matters... no email, no message, nothing will ever come from Him stating "irrelevant". Every detail of your story is relevant to Him, and that is encouraging. :) The Devil is at work in this world every second of every day. Don't let him win... Hold tight to the strong, yet tender hand of the One and Mighty... our Savior. :) Love and Hugs!!

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    1. Kate, I've been reading your blog for a long, long time. Stories of God's people remain relevant for all times. Those of us who choose to remain readers know that. And...smalll world - we were in Memphis last month to see our nephew marry a LeBonheur ped/neuro nurse, Andrea. Keep on blogging, girl!

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  22. I read your blog; every post. Your content is excellent and from the heart. Please keep doing what you are doing!

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  23. That is just plain mean of people. I read your blog because I relate to you as a mom who is striving to show Christ to her kids and those around you. Honestly, and I know this post was not meant to illicit compliments, but I want you to know, that you are someone I don't know and will never meet that has helped me raise my son this first year of his life. I have always remembered how you treat any situation with your kids first in Love and in Truth. Thank you for writing about your life. :)

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  24. Kate - I am a daily visitor to your blog. Your family's story reminds me to count my blessings each and every day. I continue to learn from you that recovering from trauma is a lifelong journey. Your openness and honesty about the good and the bad is what keeps me coming here.

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  25. WOW Love what you wrote and will continue to be a part of your family thru good or bad Prayers and a ton of hugs to you wish we lived closer I am on the West Coast I would definitely hug you so many times for your honest put your self out there blog !!!! Love you Christian sister !!!!!

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  26. Wow. I just do not understand people and their hateful comments. I thank you for continuing to share your family's story. I for one, love checking in and seeing that smile on Lucy's face!

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  27. Please keep blogging. I am a grandma of 5 but still read blogs daily to check up on my bloggy friends! Have followed since Lucy got sick and am so happy things are going well today. Don't let people get you down! The Lord is on your side and a lot of us out in blogger land are praying for you and your family!
    Grandma to 5

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  28. I'm so sorry you got a negative comment. I will pray for that unhappy person. Lucy is my hero and I love reading about her- and the rest of you. I rejoice with you on your happy days and pray for y'all on rough days. I love your blog and love watching your beautiful kids grow!
    There will always be evil in the world, but remember how many people love and care for your family!
    God bless, Kelley

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  29. Please, I need to be able to check on your sweet family and know they are ok. You were brave to share with us and we were happy to pray for you. Thank you. Kathy

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  30. I have never commented either but have prayed often for your family...you have encouraged me more then you will ever know...I will continue to pray for your family..
    Ruth
    Saskatchewan, Canada

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  31. What kind of person would write to you about the relevancy of your blog? How insensitive and unkind and rude. You did not write a blog for other people. Those of us who follow your blog pause when we want to and then pick it up again when we want to. I do not not even know how I would respond to someone who made that comment. I think I would just delete the comment and hope you did too.

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  32. I still proudly wear my Go Lucy Go T-Shirt and know its my way to keep me strong in my battle and remind me to keep her strength in my prayers always...
    Praying for continued "normal" days always and forever, for sure! ;)
    Hugs from Cali!

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  33. Kate, please keep writing about the simple stuff - your vacations, a good book you've read, a throat lozenge you'd recommend. Please. Because while your writing about those things we know you and your family are safe, happy and hopefully really really healthy. Your family stories will always be relevant so long as you're prepared to share them!

    XXX

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  34. Hang in there and know that you are fighting the good fight. Lucy has changed so many lives, the "relevant" comment is, in my opinion, completely wrong.














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  35. I no longer remember how I came upon your blog but I follow your family and pray for you. As a grandmother to 2 special needs kids I know from some aspect the day to day struggles you face, I think the worst being the unknown. It is an everyday fight to not let it rule our lives. Relevancy has nothing to do with my following your blog - your unwavering faith in God despite hardship and heartache inspire me to be a better person each time I read your blog. Stay true to yourself Kate - I only wish I could live as faithful a life as I see in you.

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  36. Kate,
    You are so right, we never know what others are battling and with one word or action we can encourage or destroy their day. You and your family are still very revelent, I check your blog everyday for updates, I pray for you, your family and Lucy.
    I am the grandmother of a special needs child, people do not get him, they label him as bad or my daughter as a bad parent, judgement when they do not know the facts, so frustrating. He is at LeBonhuer this week for testing, on the 7th floor, with one of Lucy's refrigerators. Please tell her THANK YOU for blessing us. Love and Prayers

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  37. im from Argentina, one of those anonymous readers. yes, its true i became a reader when lucy was ill but now... i enter every day just hoping to know how are you doing and the everyday stuff you live. so...please continue writing!

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  38. As long as you're writing, I'll be here reading.

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  39. I don't remember how I found your blog but have been reading for a couple years. I can't believe that people would make a comment like that and my hope for you is that you don't have to write anything "relevant" to cancer again. I pray for Lucy's continued good health and that you get to experience all the best that life has to offer.

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  40. Write as if no one is reading. It's relevant to many, and for those who do not find it relevant, best wishes.

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  41. I continue to read so that I know how I can pray for you. Seems that you were just plopped into my life as a stranger to pray for and now that Lucy is in her long-term phase of healing - the prayers don't stop!

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  42. I check this blog almost daily and I am so happy when you blog about the everyday things! The very relevant things! Praise God Lucy is doing well and remember you have people who never met you praying for you and your sweet girl.

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  43. It is interesting, blogs become amazingly popular when something tragic happens. The support is nice but then when things become ok the interest fizzles. I often stick around because blog reading is fun to me. I get upset when blogs end. As for the ads, I get it. It seems like there will be a round of several Capri sun or bagel bites, etc among the blogs. If I was given some incentive for free stuff or reimbursement, why not. If you do not feel like reading the ad then skip it. But perhaps your blog is no longer relevant to that reader and so be it. I can relate because I have kids, close to Lucy and Jack's age. We have chosen a private school for the time being and are active in our church and my oldest is on the swim team. So certainly I can see the relevance. Your blog started off just about your daily happenings and then Lucy got sick and now it has returned again to a blog about your family events. To me, a sick kid was never the relevant part of your blog. It was a sucky, crappy part of your life and now things are moving forward. I had an awful day yesterday and I took things to heart when I should have just brushed it off. It is so tough when feelings linger. Hug your kids and blog about what you want, it is your blog.

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  44. I have been following this blog since day one when someone posted a link on JJ Heller's facebook page and I love seeing how far you have all come! (Jack was just a baby!!) I think and pray about your family often and remind myself that so many families out their are fighting battles daily that we are unaware of. I find your blog humbling, motivating and inspiring. Your children are so lucky to have you as their mom!!

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  45. I continue to pray for Lucy and your family everyday. So glad she is doing better and love reading about her progress. You all are an amazing family and God is using you for His glory. Don't let others discourage you. Praying from Farmville, NC. Deborah Peaden

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  46. I still follow and pray for Lucy (and several other children) and the Krull family. I love your life updates and praise God for every clean scan and "normal" family post. Your post are uplifting and relevant. Your posts encouraged me when I needed it most. Thank you for sharing this journey. Go Luck Go!

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  47. I don't know your family and can't even remember how I came to your blog but I continue to read every day. Love to hear the updates on Lucy as well as Ella and Jack. All your kids are beautiful and how anyone could say your content is no longer relevant doesn't get IT. God bless you and your family and keep writing. Thanks

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  48. I continue to read and pray for your family. I have my own Lucy, who was born on July 11th at 25 weeks' gestation; 1 pound, 3 ounces. Our journey in the NICU has been so hard, and will continue for at least a couple more months. I don't know the feeling of my child having cancer, but I do know how scary it is to have a daughter with health problems and to watch her fighting for her life. I am sending love and big hugs to your whole family and will continue to keep you in my prayers. May both your Lucy and mine continue to grow and live beautiful lives. God bless!

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  49. I still care! I pray for sweet Lucy and remember the day I "met" you both at the allergist office in Memphis a few years ago. I can't imagine people actually sending you such emails. Your blog = your story. Write it how you see fit, those of us who care will still be here and those who don't, well .....

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  50. You are so right about not knowing what someone else is facing. My mother had a stroke last weekend. I have been thrown into the world of strokes, rehab, assisted living and therapy and am in a position of having to make really hard decisions for a woman who, as of last Friday, was strong and independent. In the midst of all this, I walked into my work building this week and the security guard called out her usual cheerful greeting and I responded as I always do. It occurred to me that I look the same to her as I did last week. She has no idea how sad and scared and broken and overwhelmed I am. But I have no idea what she is facing -- maybe she has had something horrific happen to her and is just keeping up pretenses. The point is we don't know, so it seems to make the most sense to just treat others with decency and kindness. It might just make something really hard a tiny bit easier.

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  51. I too have read your blog for the last few years and have never commented. I don't remember how I came across it. The only thing I can think of is that the people who made that comment are addicted to drama and are now bored. How sad. I can tell you that I enjoy watching Lucy blossom and seeing her smile and the pink in her cheeks! As for the ads... I thank God that He has provided a way for you to supplement your income to help with the ongoing medical expenses and so that you can be home with your kids. I have watched and learned as your faith in God has sustained you through this horrible journey. Maybe God was preparing me for my own battle as my husband was recently diagnosed with a type of brain cancer (glioblastoma) as well. I can tell anyone 1st hand that they can't begin to possibly understand what you have been going through. I feel like the only way it could have been worse for me would be if it had been my child. I want to shake everyone and tell them to hold their love ones close to their heart and to take nothing for granted. Pity that this is the way we have to find this out. I wanted you to know that when Lucy had her last scan I needed to know that she was okay. We were in the midst of my husband's post surgery and treatment plan and I was at my weakest emotionally. I have faith in the will of God and I accept that, but at that moment I just needed to see this beautiful little girl continue to thrive! God bless you and your family!

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    1. Praying for you also, my dad died of that very nasty cancer and I will pray for you even without know you or your name. No one deserves that!

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  52. (((HUGS))) Still praying for Lucy and all of you.

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  53. I agree with Sarah.....still here, still following, still reading, still praying and definitely STILL RELEVANT!!!!! Prayers continuing from Monroe, LA.

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  54. Hi Kate,
    I am so happy to see you write about every day life, it means Lucy is doing well and Father is answering prayer in a way that gives us joy, peace and praise. I'm sorry you are receiving emails from those who want to hear about your struggles with cancer. Your story is always relevant as you are children of God...a family of the true High King and He always makes interesting people and interesting lives.

    I'm always praying for Lucy and I am so glad to see she is leading a normal, quiet life.

    <><

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  55. Wow, that is so hard to read. LIFE is relevant. You are writing about your family, your joys and struggles, the ups and downs of LIFE. I am still here, still reading, still praying for Lucy and all of you. Lucy is a miracle and THAT is relevant to everyone. Hugs to you.

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  56. No longer relevant- hmmph.

    Please know I pray with and for you, rejoice with you, laugh with you, cry with you each step of the way.

    You are a blessing.....

    Thank you for being you.

    Becky in Brighton

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  57. Kate, you don't know me and I am sure we will never meet. I remember writing to you in the midst of Lucy's treatments telling you that I saw her beautiful face shining on the St. Jude calendar as I was at my doctor's office in Boston many months ago. She is (and all of you are!) relevant to me and so many more of us who continue to pray daily for her continued health and your continued strength. September is an important month in childhood cancer and you have brought so much awareness to the fight so many families face on a daily basis. You told her story and brought us into your lives for a reason and we are so thankful for that. God bless each of you and may you be forever blessed by His grace and love. You are forever relevant in my life and the lives of thousands more. For this we are forever thankful.
    Kara in Boston,MA

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  58. Oh, some folks must be upset that you haven't written much about your minivan. Perhaps they should read Edmunds instead. Personally, I prefer this blog's other relevant topic--your three kids. Carry on.

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  59. As a stranger led to your blog to Pray for Lucy I am thrilled to see the "mundane" of your life. As a pediatric oncology nurse I know first hand that while Lucy is no longer critical, every decision, scan, fear, prayer and breath is. I don't follow here for content. I follow here because you have lovely children, a beautiful family and are authoring the story of a miracle. How many of us get a front row seat for that? God bless you!!!

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  60. Kate - In the beginning, I read your blog and prayed for healing for Lucy along with protection for your family with 2 other children (one an infant) without their parents there all the time. Now I read your blog and can rejoice that you are all doing fine and enjoy the activities that go along with normal family life or as you might say "the new normal". Will continue to keep Lucy in our prayers for continued healing. Praise God for your family and what we have all gleaned from the insights you've shared. Keep it up.

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  61. "So many of us walk around with a Superwoman cape around our neck, and we never asked for it. " This is just so right on. Thank you for continuing to blog and for sharing the lives of sweet Ella, Lucy, and Jack with us. As well, thank you for your honesty in sharing your thoughts and feelings with us.

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  62. Relevant, schemelevant. Keep up the good work. :)

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  63. Relevant? ?!??!!!!?? Ha! Thanks for sharing what God has done and continues to do in your life. I am encouraged, reminded to be grateful, informed, motivated, led to pray, walking closer with the Lord, but most importantly I am changed! As a mom with 2 and one of those has autism you are RELEVANT to me! Thanks again for sharing! Sondra

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  64. I have been following your blog for about 3 years. I lost track after loosing the link. Was able to find the link and so thankful to know that you and your entire family are doing well. God Bless.

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  65. It is unconsciable that someone would actually say that...how sad and pathetic. If they didn't find the "content relevent" to them, then just stop reading. Why say such a cruel and hateful thing? UGH. You write beautifully and it is a joy to read about your family. It is a blessing that this blog is about the family and every day things.

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  66. I just stumbled on your blog today and began reading and then hit "older post" and read some more....when I read that people unsubscribed because it wasn't relevant...it just felt like someone punched me in the stomach! I do not have a child with cancer, I don't even have children close in age to yours..but I am a mother and a prayer warrior like no other! So my commitment is to pray for you, for each of your children and your husband because you are relevant in the eyes of God and that's what I am called to do!

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