Today, despite the depths of fear, worry, and hurt I am experiencing, I choose happy.  It's not the easy choice, as allowing myself to wallow in pity would be much easier.  At times, I also think it would be more pleasurable.  But not today.  Today I am choosing happy.  Here are a few things that brought me joy today/yesterday:

1.  Emotions.  Lucy had her initial session with her psychologist yesterday and things went great.  Lucy really opened up to her and talked a lot about her emotions.  When I walked into the room, she totally shut down. Oh, well.  I'm thankful for a start.

2. Coffee.  I tried to cut it out of my life recently and then decided that was not such a great idea.  In general, my  attitude has turned to a "life is too short" kind of mind-frame.  And you know what?  It is.  Life is too short and you never know what tomorrow will bring.  So drink up!  Enjoy your coffee.

3. Love.  It's that simple.  The thing of earth that keeps me going. I give it freely and receive it graciously.

4. Surprises.  I had so much fun today assembling these goodies for our children, their teachers and our nieces.  Who doesn't love a fun treat when you aren't expecting it?

5.  Freedom of expression.  Let loose, baby boy, and fly free sweet Ella!

 6.  Arts and crafts.  Without then, she would be lost.  They are a refuge for her.  When she is tired, stressed, worried, mad...she wants to color.  I should probably own stock in Crayola.

7.  Friends.  Young and old, big and small.  I am so thankful for the wonderful gang of friends that I have.  I am so very blessed with the girls (and guys) that God has placed in my life.  I don't know what I would do without them.

8. Music.  Oh, sweet music.  It soothes my soul and calms my mind.  It elicits emotions that I never knew I had.  Finding just the right song is like freedom for my spirit.  Tonight I was asked to sing with three of my closest and dearest friends.  All of our children (expect for one friend) are in the same choir group of church.  Every year the children's choir performs a Spring musical and this year it is one with a patriotic theme.  In the musical is a song that the 4 of us sang when we were 12 or 13 years old.  It's called the 50 States in Rhyme, and in it you sing the name of the 50 states really quickly.  It's super cute and I remember every single word as if I sang it only yesterday.  All that leads up to our performance tonight and Lucy's sheer delight at watching her Mommy sing.  She was totally mesmerized and so very proud.  I am happy tonight because of music.

post signature


  1. Encourage her art. Buy all the crayons and paper you can. When my daughter was sick and for a while post treatment, she drew and drew and drew. I love to go ack and look at her sketch books. They tell an amazing story of healing.

  2. (((Hugs))) Coffee reintroduced into your diet will help make things look better. ;P

    I don't really understand what is wrong, but our Father does, so I will just continue to pray and pray for Lucy and all the issues that are going on. The Lord's hand is on her and He will help her get through all of this.

  3. So happy you posted tonight! I've been trying to be patient :) Love the update and the list! Keep choosing happy my friend!
    Much love to all!
    Always praying!

  4. I am thankful Lucy is able to talk through her emotions with someone. I cannot imagine the range of emotions she must be experiencing. She's been through so much at her young age. Oh and coffee, yea, tried to give it up, but I love it so!

  5. So glad Lucy had a good session - this will help her so much!! And I'm right there with you on the "life is too short" theme. I had a chocolate covered strawberry BEFORE dinner last night!

  6. I love your blog more than any other. I choose Happy too! Thanks for being such an inspiration to us all!!!!

  7. You are truly amazing- really an inspiration to us all! Thank you for being so open and honest. I will continue praying for your sweet family!

  8. I love this post. There is so much happiness to choose (most of the time) if we just let ourselves see it. And sending up prayers for Sweet Lucy and her frustrations right now.

  9. This brought such a smile to my face. I adore your family and your faith is inspiring. Much love and hugs to all of you from Montana. -Sarah

  10. Long time reader, first time comment poster. I too was waiting with deep anticipation over the last few days to read an update on Lucy. I've been following your blog for almost two years and I am always ashamed and humbled. I can't tell you how much I appreciate your raw authenticity. In a cyber world where it's easy to portray that all is beautiful pictures and happiness, you are true and real. Life is hard, but God is good. And...you Kate, are truly an inspiration to us all. Thank you for your honesty and prayers for you and your sweet family.

  11. Kate,
    I'm glad she was able to open up with the therapist. Emotions can be big, scarey things to an adult-when you're a kid-monsters!! After everything she has been through, she has every right to be mad! And, she doesn't want you to worry about her-probably why she closed back down when you came in. Sometimes you just can't tell your mom everything! And, choosing happy is sometimes the hardest thing to do, but we'd much rather be happy:) Hugs and love!