Today as we attended our school's Open House I excitedly watched Ella enter her 3rd grade classroom, meeting her new teacher with eagerness. And then I took Lucy back to her Kindergarten classroom and watched her enter quite tentatively and proceeded to cry my eyes out. Some of the moms might have thought I was sad to see my baby go to Kindergarten, but those that know me well understood why I cried. Sometimes the reminders of this horrible event in our life seem to haunt me in the worst way. We will get through this. Both of us. All of us. Time heals all wounds, right?
I want to say thank you to everyone who left me birthday comments, Facebook messages, emails and texts. It meant the world to me, although I will never be able to respond to each one. Jack was really sick last week and Friday wasn't much better. We had fun plans with some friends Friday night and I just knew we would have to cancel. Even at 4:00, when Erik and I are desperately trying to treat the nasty diaper rash Jack had I had resigned to spending my birthday evening at home. Thankfully, Jack perked up and we were able to spend some time away with these great friends, plus Rebecca (and their husbands.)
I am excited about this crazy week. It represents such a "normal" routine and a life that I miss so much. I have spent a lot of time begging and pleading with God recently to allow our family to start living again. We are ready for it. I have missed that part of our life so much. God continues to bless our family. Through the good and the bad, we are so very fortunate. Honestly, I do my fair share of whining but I really am very aware of the blessings in my life.
If you are in need of some great inspiration tonight, I urge you to read about Oscar Pistorius. I just watched this paraplegic compete against able bodied men in the Olympic semi-finals. I walked away from the TV with tears streaming (seems to be a trend today), wondering how many times his mother and father questioned God. How many nights did his mother lay in bed and think about lost hopes and dreams shattered? How many times did her son face the taunts of other children or the stares from children and adults alike? I marvel at the man he is. The fierce determination that drives him to beat the odds?
Then I think about my Lucy. How hard it must have been for her to realize today that her friends weren't in her class. I wonder how often she is faced with the realization that she is "different" and not as able as her peers. And just when I allow myself to fall apart from these images that haunt my mind, I see her running as fast as her unsteady legs will allow to try to play basketball with Hyatt. Tonight I watched in amazement as she put her frustrations with school aside and insisted to the other kids that she could play paddle ball just as well as they could. She made me proud. She made me embarrassed that I ever doubt her.
Come on life. Bring it on. Lucy's ready to fight. She's ready to prove what's she's made of. God made this girl special. She's one of a kind and was no doubt put here on this earth to teach us all many lessons. She is my hero.
"You're not disabled by the disabilities you have, you are able by the abilities you have." Oscar Pistorius
I, too, watched Oscar compete tonight. All I could say was WOW! What an inspiration. And then, listening to his interviewed showed what a kind gentleman he must be. Very powerful event tonight.
ReplyDeleteYou are right. Lucy is going to conquer all that she sets her mind to and then some. She has already conquered enormous mountains and overcome tremendous hurdles! She is a champion! Praise God for all HE is doing with her life. I hope the first day of school goes well tomorrow! Keeping you all in prayer.
Glad you were able to sneak out for your birthday!
ReplyDeleteGood luck with your family's first week with school and enjoy the "normal" busyness! :) I hear ya. Sometimes I want to scream and say can't I just have my normal again PLEASE...
Praying for you and Lucy adjusting to her class. Can't wait to see pics with the girls and backpacks. I always remember my mom taking pics on our first day of each grade with our new backpacks on! :)
I loved this post!!! I hope your first week of school goes wonderful and will be thinking about your girl tomorrow! You are an amazing mommy :)
ReplyDeleteYou have been blessed with a very special beautiful little girl. I have just
ReplyDeletecompleted reading just about all of your blog, after finding it earlier this week, while tears were in my eyes alot, they streamed when I read your final closing paragraph tonite.
Lucy will take on life and everything it has to throw her, it has thrown her more then most adults could handle, and she has won each time.
God will continue to bless Lucy and all of you, each and every day.
Your entire family are my heros:)
Go Lucy Go!!!
ReplyDeleteI can only aspire to be half the woman sweet little Lucy already is. She is such a fighter and has blessed so many with her determination and strength. It is obvious she gets this from her mom. Kate, I can't even begin to imagine a day in your world. I've lost one child and been at the point of losing another, but never have I had to face the eminent possibility of that for months or years. God took our Robyn quickly and Kyle was ICU trauma level for only 6 days and they seemed like an eternity. We were so blessed that God allowed us too keep him. It's been a little over 18 months since that horrible night.
ReplyDeleteThe fact that ALL of you find the strength to face another day makes me feel ashamed why I sit and weep or feel sorry for myself. God has truly blessed us all and I am so blessed and forever touched by that little angel that lives in your home. God bless you, Erick, Ella, Jack and Lucy and may His grace forever surround you all.
Under HIs Wings,
Vanessa
I too watch Oscar!!! Actually my best friend and I were yelling & cheering for him!!! Kate, before I became sick, I use to work in a JK/SK class for 3 yrs with my best friend. It was the best job I've EVER had! One thing that struck me the most is just how resilent children are!! My kids came from poor and unfortunately for some really neglectful homes. I cannot tell you how many babies I fed breakfast too in the morning, knowing not only did they NOT get breakfast....they also did NOT get dinner the night before. BUT Kate....I have to tell you.....NOT ONE OF THOSE BABIES EVER COMPLAINED!!! They were just so happy to get breakfast and just loved the attention I was giving them. So, I'm not surprised about Lucy! I bet she is fine about her situation. She will quickly make new friends while appreciating her other friends. It's going to be okay Kate....LUCY IS GOING TO BE OKAY....GREAT!!! Good luck with your 1st day! My kids don't go back until after labour day. I am dreading it ALREADY!!! Enjoy tomorrow and know it's all going to work out just fine!!!
ReplyDeleteHave a great 1st day and year of School Krull Family! I know God has very special plans for your family. May blessings continue to shower upon you all! Can't wait to see pics. :)
ReplyDeleteI just sent my babies off to the bus for 3rd grade and Kindergarten. We started last Wednesday. Sitting here this morning, I am praying Lucy will have a fabulous day and meet some wonderful friends. I pray she will have the stamina to stay perky all day and learn how to go to school every day! I also pray for Ella as she starts a new chapter too. I don't know about you, but third grade is seeming so old to me!
ReplyDeleteKate,
ReplyDeleteAs I watched Oscar and heard his story, I too cried! What determination on his parents part for him to be just like his brother. It's an incredible story of strength and not wanting to be considered different.
Your sweet Lucy will do well. She will take this challenge just like all of the rest and fight for her place in this world. I couldn't be prouder of her, and the rest of you, if you were my own family.
For your family, you dream big and work hard. You believe that God has a purpose in all of this and He is doing such a good work in all of you and all of us! I'm just sad that Lucy has to be the vessel and not one of us.
Enjoy your normal week!
I am so happy for you guys! Good luck this week starting school and getting back into the routine. Mine are grown and my grandson is only 2, so I don't have to do any of that right now, but in a way, I miss it terribly. Have a great back to school week!
ReplyDeleteThe wondeful thing about children in general is that they are so able to accept change and move on to the next great thing. They don't have the emotional "baggage" as we adults do, so they transition so much easier! My oldest daughter is starting a new school and she misses her old friends so much, but I know she will do great! The same with Lucy, when she gets to know some new kids and gets in a routine she will have a blast. You are both so courageous! Enjoy the special time you have with Jack! The Krull family is always in my prayers.
ReplyDeletePraying your tears of frustration & fear quickly turn into tears of joy! And praying both of those beautiful girls have a fabulous school year!! ... A diaper rash tip (although I'm sure you've heard many :): crisco!! It really works :)! We use it as soon as any redness or irritation occurs. We even used it w/ Callie when her diapers were so bad that she was tested for C. Diff. It provides a protective layer between their bottom & the "yuck" :)...makes clean-up easier, too! :)
ReplyDeleteKate, such an inspirational post. Lucy is definitely meant to be here. God is watching over you all. So glad to hear all is going great. Stinks that the kids go back to school so early, but I too cannot wait for a sense of normal routine to return. GO LUCY GO!!
ReplyDeleteGo Lucy Go!!!!
ReplyDeleteBy far my most favorite post. It is inspiring to see Lucy grow stronger and your faith in our most precious God in the midst of the storm. God Bless you and your family! I love you and your family as much as if I were part of it! She will do wonderful today and I look forward to reading future posts of the new and lasting friends she will meet this year. God chose this path for her for a specific reason and he has amazing things in store for your beautiful little girl! Thanks you for sharing and inspiring us all!
ReplyDeleteGo Lucy GO !!!
ReplyDeleteJust a quick FYI, Oscar Pistorius is not a paraplegic. He had fibular hemimelia, a congenital abnormality that results in shortened or absent fibulas, and as a result had to have a double amputation. There is a big difference between the two diseases. Regardless, he is amazing! And so is Lucy!
ReplyDeleteSo gald you were home to spend yuor birthday and not in any hospital - that is a gift in itself! My little one is 19 months old and having a bad diaper rash too - from the same virus it seems - however - go get some Resinol - it's the BEST diaper rash cream I have found. You have to ask for it at Walmart or Walgreens - they keep it behind the counter. The best $7 - $9 you will ever spend. It is great for so many things. The small jar seems to be thicker than the large jar. Good luck!!!
ReplyDeleteSchool already! Our school season doesn't start until September, so hearing school in August just throws me. :s
ReplyDeletePraying for all of you. Lucy is amazing and she will sail through this year with flying colours. :)
Blessings,
I am so happy that your life is starting to head back to the "normal" you are all needing. When my youngest was born he faced many orthopedic issues. He started OT/PT when he was only 11 days old & he was 3 weeks early. He had 2 surgeries to correct bilateral clubfeet and may face more in the future. He also had issues with flexibility in his joints. I worried if he would ever walk or be able to do things for himself that we all take for granted. He was asked why he walked "funny". With the wisdom that God gives little children he would tell whoever asked that God made me this way. He will never be the fastest, he still hates that he will not be as competitive as his older brothers in sports, sometimes he still has somethings that are hard for him - he usually figures a different way to do things. Kids that face adversity gain a strength of character that often leave them taking up for others, become leaders & leaving their parents in awe. I know my youngest is a loving, accepting and precious child of God. MAY GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR SWEET FAMILY. Lucy is a fighter and she will figure out how to do things her way & she just may teach everyone else a few tricks along the way. She has already taught us so much about prayer and faith.
ReplyDeleteI totally understand why you were crying - in fact, I'm crying right now reading this and knowing exactly how you felt watching Lucy go into a classroom that she'd already been in and not finding any of her friends there. It'll be okay, though - I bet she's gonna learn everything so fast and advance back to where she should be! She looks so happy in that picture!
ReplyDeleteLove, love, love this beautiful, blue-eyed, fiercely determined girl! Special doesn't do her justice!
ReplyDeleteI have followed your blog from the beginning of Lucy's struggle, and have never posted. But I came across this quote and just had to share with you...
ReplyDelete"Life is like a piano. White keys are happy moments & Black keys are sad moments. But remember both keys are played together to give sweet music."--Definitely a sweet reminder of how God uses all things to work for good!!!!
LOVE the HOPE in this! You are awesome!
ReplyDeleteWOULD PUT MY WEINER UP HER PEE PEE HOLE QUICK.
ReplyDeleteasshole too but not quick I want to feel her enjoying it
Deletelook at her, between her legs, wow!
ReplyDeletewould be fantastic, like her legs.
lovely legs wonder what time they open
Deletegetting her legs open will be a pleasure
Deleteyes I agree take your time enjoy her holes
ReplyDeletePedophiles would fuck a little skeleton like that if they could
ReplyDeleteim a fat 15 yr old boy, i live at Ulitsa Lunacharskogo, 12, Novokuznetsk, Kemerovo Oblast, my phone number is 8 908 953 11 27 and my email is maximus8610@gmail.com.
ReplyDeleteplease kidnap/rape me.
Spread your thighs and get naked little girl, I want to lick and finger your. Then I'll penetrate you front and back.
ReplyDelete