I should be sleeping. I have never felt exhaustion like I am feeling right now. But sleep continues to elude me. So I guess I will have a therapy session.
So many people along the way have said countless times about how Lucy's story has changed lives. How God is using lucy to bring people closer to him. I pray that one day I can appreciate it. Maybe one day I will be able to be thankful for that. Not right now though. I just can't seem to put my mind around why a great and powerful God has to use a 5 year old child to change people's lives. I just don't understand why God, being so omnipotent, can't just change people's hearts.
So as I wrestle with this thought for years and years to come I would just ask all of you who have left such kind comments to not let lucy's suffering be in vain. For those of you who have said she's changed your life, shes made you a better mother, she's turned your heart back to God...please don't let her suffering be in vain.
It's easy to get wrapped up in the story while we are all living it. But in 1,2,5 years from now will you remember a little girl named Lucy? I promise you if you had ever really met her you would never be able to forget her.
God created Lucy differently. I now wonder if He made her so full of life because he knew what a short life she would live and He allowed her to enjoy it just a little more acutely than other children.
Lucy has communicated with us very minimally the past few nights. She has, however, rattled off phrases and smiled some. It's almost as if she is remembering every happy thought shes ever had. We've started writing down the things she is saying. She's talked about building sandcastles, riding the boat, hunting for Easter eggs. She's even fussed at Jack a few times. That was hilarious!
I've realized that my child has lived a blessed life because all she has are happy memories. There are no hard times Or bad moments to relive. She even managed to smile her way through 18 months of hellacious cancer treatment and continuous rehab.
I will never, ever get up on my daughter. EVER. As long as she has fight left in her I will be right beside her. My heart aches beyond words because I wish i could fight for her. I wish I could trade places for her. But I can't. All I can really do is hold her and comfort her. When she becomes semi alert during the day she whines and moans until I pick her up and hold her. And then that's what I do until it's time to go to bed. Hours upon hours upon hours of sitting and holding and comforting. I know it brings Lucy comfort but I honestly think it does for me. There is no greater validation in the life than to know that your arms can take away hurt, fear and sadness. I have told Lucy everyday, many times a day, how grateful I am to have been chosen as her mother. It's been one of the greatest gifts in my life.
I don't know if we will ever leave this hospital. Lucy's little heart is beginning to show signs of fatigue. Her little body is so weak. Cancer aside, I'm just not sure her body can fight off whatever it is that has wrecked havoc upon her system. We want to go home to spend some quality days as a family but right now she is too weak to move. So we are hunkered down. Fighting this battle here in the place where we asked to be.
LeBonheur Hospital. The place where I found hope 18 months ago and the place where I am now finding peace. We are surrounded by doctors, nurses, and hundreds of other employees who fell in love with Lucy last year. They have made it their mission to make sure we are comfortable and feel as safe as if we were at home. These friends we have met along the way are guarding our family as if we were holding the queens crown jewels. But, I guess we are in actuality. We are holding the Kings crown jewels.
Many have asked for specific prayer needs. I will list a few but know that blankets of prayer are needed because there are so many specific needs that I can't even begin to wrap my mind around them:
-rest, mercy and no suffering for Lucy
-understanding and no fear for Ella
-a constant remembrance of my love to fill Jack
-Lucy's father. My precious husband. May he continue to grieve and not feel as If he has to be strong for any of us
-Lucy's grandparents and immediate /extended families
-restored faith for all of Lucy's friends and all the little children who have been praying ceaselessly for healing.
-Lucy's doctors, nurses and other care team members
-eventual healing for our family
Much love--Kate
Praying for your sweet Lucy!! I will never ever forget her, even years down the road!!!!! Praying for whole family as well.
ReplyDeleteI have no words. All I know to tell you is that your family is being lifted up in prayer by people everywhere.
ReplyDeleteKate, we will pray as requested. Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful Lucy with so many of us who have been honoured to support the journey of your family through prayer.
ReplyDeleteI very much appreciate you taking the time to update so we in the Legion of Lucy know what to pray for.
God Bless.
I won't forget Lucy.
ReplyDeletemy daughter was in miss casey andersons first grade class when lucy was diagnosed....that is how we learned and began to follow your journey...my two girls..now 7and 8 come in everyday after school and ask me to take them online for an update on "little lucy" (as they like to call her)....my 8 year old reads the blogs herself and my younger one asks me to read them for her...we have cried along with you and celebrated and rejoiced with you....as lucy nears the end of her battle...she is not defeated....her fight was not in vain...she taught two small children what is it to feel love and sympathy and compassion for strangers just like they would their own friends and families.....they speak of lucy as if they know her....tell everyone about her and give updates to everyone they know....they cried right along with me when we heard a few days ago that her suffering is soon to be over....we continue to pray for mercy for lucy as well as understanding for you and your sweet family....god bless
ReplyDeletebrandi, lexi, and kennedy
Lucy will not be forgotten by anyone who has known her or who has known only her story, that much is clear! I pledge to carry her inspiration forward. I'm so sorry your family has been hit with such pain, but I'm relieved to know that you're being embraced by all around you. The specific prayers that you've suggested will be continually repeated. May there be many more quiet, beautiful moments and shared happy memories as you hold and comfort Lucy. Yes, you've been blessed to love her and to be her mother. What a jewel she truly is!
ReplyDeleteKate I worry about the same the same exact thing. I hear this same thing at least a few times a day "Keegan brought me back to God", I dont take anything for granted because of you and Keegan...the list goes on and on. But like you my fear is that he will be forgotten, his fight and strength which surpassed most adults until the moment he took his last breath...forgotten, and this beautiful beautiful child that God made...forgotten.
ReplyDeleteWhen I expressed this fear on FB a few months back people assured me it would never happen. I am making it my personal mission not too by continuing on in his name by telling his story and his fight and bring awareness to childhood and brain cancer.
God Bless your family Kate, it is not gonna be "easy" but you do have a great support community here and many of us have been in your shoes. Never hesitate to ask for help or reach out. I have found this has worked wonders for me!
<3
you speak so beautifully in the face of so much pain. i cannot begin to imagine what you are feeling but i will be praying for your specific requests and the ones in your heart that elude your words right now. keep doing what you are doing because even though it doesn't seem even close to enough, it is all lucy and your family needs. thank you for sharing lucy and your family with all of us.
ReplyDeleteI think I mentioned in one of my previous comments that I'm a hospital chaplain. I have sat next to many people in places similar to yours. :( Continue to hold Lucy, for comfort to her AND to you. And always assume she can hear you even when she seems not to be conscious. Unconscious people do hear. People in comas do hear. So sing to her and talk to her. Read stories or scripture or poems. Recordings of people she loves who can't be there. All these things are your gifts to her, along with your enduring love.
ReplyDeleteAnd in years to come people will remember Lucy. I have a good friend whose little boy died of a brain tumor 12 years ago and many many of us still send her cards on his birthday, and cards on the anniversary of his death. Yes, people will remember Lucy.
The photo that's in my mind is the one from a week or so ago where she has a big grin on her face and chocolate on her mouth. Your comment was something like "Lucy has developed a love for chocolate." Since I don't know you personally and am not with Lucy now that will be one of my "memories" of her. The big grin and chocolate. :)
Continuing prayers for peace for you all, for no suffering for Lucy, and comfort for Ella.
I'm just so, so sorry. I will continue to pray that God guard your heart and your mind with the peace that transcends all understanding, along with the prayers you listed. God bless you and your precious family.
ReplyDeleteThank you for taking the time to keeping us up to date on this situation. I really have no adequate words. I will keep you all in my prayers. I too wonder why God lets things happen when he is in charge. But I do have faith that someday it will all make sense. Even though it just does not make sense right now, on earth. I wish you and Erik and Ella and Jack and everyone else from Lucy's grandparents to her nurses, peace. I wish Lucy peace and comfort, but I know she gets that directly from you. God be near you.
ReplyDeleteKate - First, thank you for taking a few precious minutes to update us. Second, I have been thinking of you, and Lucy and your family and friends - praying for peace, for no pain for Lucy, for strength for mommy and daddy. I'm wearing my Go, Lucy, Go! t-shirt as I write this. My baby (who is 16) had outpatient surgery yesterday. It is nothing terribly serious but her after care will be somewhat tough (for this mom). I thought of you often as I was caring for her yesterday. It really hit me what you've been going through. Mine is a tiny little microcosm of your journey for the past 18 months, and all I could think was, "how has she done it?" My mom has always said, "you deal with what you've got." I guess you do. Please take care, and I want you to know I still have your thankyou postcard where I can see it on my desk at work, and I see Lucy's sweet face all day and pray for her. And there she'll stay. I will never forget her.
ReplyDeleteI can't begin to understand the pain Lucy and her family have endured over the months. I bore three healthy children and now have eight healthy grandchildren. I only know this beautiful spirit of this truly amazing child through Internet posts. As a mom, I too would give my own life for this beautiful child to save her from this horrible sickness she has endured most of her life. I pray that this mom can hold on to all the happiness she has been given by Lucy. I know it brings little comfort at this time and we feel your pain yet we can't begin to know the depth of your suffering. I still pray that Gods grace and power of healing will bless this family and this beautiful child. All my love.
ReplyDeleteI understand how you feel. It's so hard to not be angry with God for allowing your 5 year old little girl to pass away just so He can reach the lost. I often wonder numerous times during the day what He His plan was in all of this and I've begged Him so many times just to give me a glimpse of His plan. I think it's okay to feel that way sometimes though. God can handle those doubts and fears and angry feelings. In fact, when I come to Him with those honest feelings I feel the closest to Him and that's when I can feel Him speaking to my heart.
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to let you know that in my experience with losing Elizabeth it was her friends who were the most excited for her because they knew she was Jesus. Every parent we knew told me that when they told their son or daughter about Elizabeth going to Heaven they literally jumped up and down with joy and were so excited because she was with Jesus. I still have some parents tell me now, almost 2 year later, that their child still prays for Elizabeth and talks about her on a daily basis. Kids are amazing and they have the ability to see past what we cannot.
I know that Lucy's friends will never forget her. From what you're said, it sounds like she is a very special little girl. It sounds like she and my Elizabeth would've been great friends had they known each other here on Earth. I am praying that they will find each other in Heaven. :)
thecookesga.blogspot.com
My heart aches for you, Kate. Only God can take care of you; trust in HIM to carry you through this with all of our prayers.
ReplyDeleteEvery morning I usually go to check my email, but lately my first site to visit is this one! I have been praying every minute I think of her, begging really, for God to perform a modern day miracle! Still praying and will never forget. Love you, Kate!
ReplyDeleteTrish
Kate,
ReplyDeleteOur whole extended family is praying for you all. Thank you for sharing your heart and grief and the joy Lucy gives you with all of us. God WILL give you the strength you need.
Grace Phelps
Kate, please know I am praying for your family! I won't forget about Lucy...ever...
ReplyDeleteEvery morning the first thing I do it come visit your blog to see if you have written any updates as we are praying so hard for your family. (hugs) to you all....
ReplyDeleteJanice, Kira and Emma
Kate
ReplyDeleteI am continually praying for sweet Lucy. She has blessed us all. I know she has forever changed me. My children are much older but I have leaned to love at a deeper level because of a 5 year old incredible little girl and her amazing family. I can't imagine what you are feeling. No one can. Your specific prayers will be spoken continually. Ella jack Erik and you will be prayed for continually. Lucy has more love and fight in her than anyone I have met. She is an amazing blessing to us all. I am sure while she sleeps she is reflecting on her wonderful family experiences. I will make a sandcastle today in honor of your precious Lucy who continues to make us all better people
Marybeth kindred
Kate,
ReplyDeleteI can't believe what I am reading. I've followed your story since last February, but have not been able to catch up for a few days. Thank you, so much, for allowing us to be part of your life, especially through this time. While I have no words that will be able to take away what you are feeling, please know (as I'm sure you do) that you have many many many many people praying for you and your family. Other than that, I am literally at a loss for words. <3
I appreciate the update. I am praying for you and your sweet family. Remember that you and sweet Lucy are daughters of such a STRONG King.
ReplyDeleteNot only will we not forget Lucy. We'll all get to meet her... and you... and Ella, Erik, and Jack someday. "Christians never say good-bye." What does that old hymn say, "What a day of rejoicing that will be."
ReplyDeleteI - like you don't understand why - but I'm not sure knowing why would even matter.
Prayers continue
Lucy has the largest family I have ever seen, because you are so kind enough to share her with all of us. I don't think she will ever be forgotten. Can you imagine is we all scheduled a time to release balloons to fly in the air for her year after year? I think that from anywhere in the world one would be able to look up and see them blanket the sky. That's how many people love your family.
ReplyDelete"Where two or more gather in my name, I will be there". He's everywhere! Your pain is shared by all, but most important, your joyous memories are also etched into our hearts and then shared with others who never knew you or Lucy - and then re-etched into those hearts. Don't ever doubt the massive amount of love that has been multiplied over and over and over again. It was His plan. He wanted the seed to be spread and multiplied by the thousands. That's what you and Lucy have done Kate. Even through your suffering, your rewards will be great someday. This is not in vain. It will never be. Lucy has saved lives. She will never be forgotten......
I can not imagine walking in your shoes, but if ever placed in such a situation I pray that I will walk with God in the same grace and faith that you and your family have traveled. Two pictures you have posted that will remain in my heart...Ella and Lucy sleeping side and side, and the recent one of Lucy on the jet ski with you. May sweet memories carry you through this difficult time. Prayers from Alabama...
ReplyDeleteI too don't understand how this can happen to such a loving child. I can only believe there must be a reason, even if it is not clear to any of us now. Hugs and prayers and love from a stranger in Georgia.
ReplyDeleteYou have us in the palm of your hand and we will all do what we can to lift you from the pain and agony you are experiencing. There is nothing more powerful than a mother so when you are hurting I think all of us feel your pain and we want to comfort you. I am a believer in miracles and I am am hopeful that Lucy will regain the strength she needs to fight the infection. I wake up each morning to read your blog, read it over and over again during the day, and check for you each evening. I don't know that Lucy has changed my life as much as you have. You are remarkable.
ReplyDeleteI will most definitely be praying specifically for your needs. I can not fathom your pain right now. I ask God to be with you all and comfort you in a way that only He can.
ReplyDeleteYour sweet Lucy and your family do not leave my thoughts very often. Praying without ceasing.
ReplyDeletePraying for all of you so much.
ReplyDeleteKate, I don't know you or Lucy, but know that I pray for her and your family May God comfort all of you in a way that only He can. May He provide peace to all of you. I have no doubt that He will provide strength when you need it. Continue to trust in Him.
ReplyDeleteTo all who love Lucy and the Krull family,
ReplyDeleteI am a pediatric oncology nurse and live near Seattle, WA. Recently, with Kate's permission, I shared a story from Lucy's cancer battle with nurses from all over the NorthWest at a conference...Kate, we are praying!
Kate said something that in this post that is so true for parents who are where Erick and Kate are right now. She asked us if we would remember Lucy 1, 3, 5 years from now. If there is anything beside prayer that parents who are facing what the Krull's face want most, it is the certainty that their beloved child will not be forgotten. In this moment that seems impossible. I promise you there will come a moment where you will wander if even speaking Lucy's name will cause pain and in an effort to protect you will be inclined to discuss anything but Lucy. Decide right now to not do that. Speak Lucy's name loudly and with confidence. Tell her parents how much she means to you. Tell stories about who she is, what she loves, the things she does that make you smile and laugh. If our miracle is not to be, keep saying her name. Avoid well intended but useless platitudes. Speak purely and from your heart. And in all things remember a beautiful blonde , blue eyed girl who chooses life everyday with spirit and purpose, then do the same. This is how we honor the war Lucy has waged. This is how we heal her family's broken hearts.
Miracles happen, I have witnessed them. I believe in Lucy's miracle, whatever shape it takes. I believe in Lucy and I will always remember.
Against all hope, in hope I believe...Romans 4:18
I am so sorry for what your family is going through. I have been praying for Lucy and the rest of your family nonstop. My best friend lost her twin sister to cancer when we were 6. She is such a strong person, but I hate that she and her family had to go through that experience in order to be who they are today. I can promise you, whatever the the outcome, that I will never forget Lucy, and I will continue to pray for your family.
ReplyDeleteDear Kate, I also have prayed along with my family for sweet little Lucy's healing..we still are. You have been so strong and so gracious to share this beautiful special little girl with us. I wanted to remind you as you are walking down this road that God never intended for us to experience the pain of death or losing a loved one. In the garden He placed the tree of life for us to eat and live forever in His good pleasures and His presence. When we chose sin God removed Adam and Eve from the garden not as punishment but because of His sweet mercy towards us bc He didn't want us to live forever in our sin by eating from that tree of life. He had a perfect plan that did not include sickness or death or heartache or cancer. But it is because of sin and the deception of the enemy that we have all these things in our lives today. And I know you know all of this but remember that God sent His Son to conquer sin for for us all and restore us back to that perfect original plan He had before sin entered the world. Lucy is such a beautiful precious girl and I cannot imagine your heartache. I pray that you will find hope and peace in the God who gave her to you. Your faith has been so strong and Lucy is so blessed to have a mommy and daddy who love her so much.
ReplyDeletePraying hard for ALL .
ReplyDeleteI will ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS remember Lucy...I will do my best to honor her and her Heavenly Father for as long as I live. I promise you that we as a blog community will never forget Lucy or her impact 50 years from now.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your heart with us. I can assure you that Lucy will never be forgotten. The circumstances of her life will continue to inspire and teach without end. Thank you also for allowing us to stand in the gap for you through prayer. As others have stated, your family is never far from my mind these days. I'm continuing to pray. I pray that all of you are able to feel God's arms wrapped around you in just the same way that you hold Lucy wrapped in your arms.
ReplyDeleteKate, I read your blog and it is exactly how I felt 5 months ago. My son was 36 yrs old. I did not watch him suffer. But while I was waiting on the news if he was in house, that was burning to the ground, I had the same feelings. Wondering where is God, being the God of all power, why did this have to happen. I sat in my living room that night telling a house filled with people, my son did not die in vain. Jer 29:11 For I know the plan I have for you, plans to give you hope and a future. Now 5 months later I see so much good that has come from his death. I am no where near the total healing point, I do not believe I will ever be until I get to heaven to see him again. But I am realizing joy has come for me at times when I lest expected it and it will for you too. I truly believe Jesus is about to come back for us and it will not be long and you will be with Lucy forever. I copied your prayer request and our church will be praying specifically for your needs. Love and prayers
ReplyDeleteFor you to allow the world to be part of your family's journey these past 18 months, I thank you. Though I always considered myself a Christian and knew my place with the Lord, your strength proved to me I was really lost with the Lord and you and your family lead me and guided me where I needed to be. My regret is it took your pain, trials and heartache for me to become a better person. I suddenly lost a parent last year, the hurt, the anger, the confusion was often answered from your blog. I found strength in my own loss, there were many times I felt you were speaking directly to me. For this, I will always be greatful to you, Lucy and your family.
ReplyDeleteMy prayers continue for your guided strength and mercy and no suffering for Lucy. She is a inspiration to many and not only is she a jewel, she is a rare jewel.
Thank you again for helping me find my Lord and sharing your family journey with us. I am proud to call Covington, TN home and your story has brought our community together and stronger as well. (I am on my 4 bow on my mailbox! I could not allow them to fade become worn as I found strength in seeing that pink and purple waving in the wind!)
I am continuing to pray! And I promise that Lucy will never be forgotten. Thank you for continuing to share her story.
ReplyDeleteWe will remember.
ReplyDeleteMay God's amazing grace engulf you and all of your loved ones.
ReplyDeleteContinuing to pray for your family. Erik's extended family up in Wisconsin is thinking about you and your family constantly. Not only has Lucy taught many of us multiple lessons, but your strength and courage as a mother and wife as evidenced by your words is remarkable. Praying for comfort and peace for your entire family.
ReplyDeleteI prayed for all of these things, and although it wasn't on your list, I prayed for strength for you as well Kate. Just know that God is holding your hand though this and you may not see it today, but you will see how much Lucy has touched so many.
ReplyDeleteI remember watching Mary Beth Chapman be interviewed and she said almost the exact same thing you did. She pleaded with God, she screamed, she hid under the bed after her daughter passed away. She said she didn't care if Maria's story helped anyone or not, she just wanted Maria back. Easier said than done, but don't feel guilty for having human emotions, especially as a mother. We don't understand and won't until we get to the most glorious place that human eyes have never seen or heard. God loves you no matter what you say or how you feel in these moments. Lucy won't be forgotten. There may be quiet moments in the months and years to come that feel like everyone has forgotten, but that isn't true. Hold onto God, hold onto your family and friends, hold onto the love from countless people you won't meet this side of heaven. I am continuing to pray for Lucy (and even a miracle) and your family (you too, of course, but Ella and Erik stay on my mind a lot also along with Lucy's grandparents). I read www.raptureready.com all the time. Gives me hope and encouragement, especially that we'll hear the trumpet soon. No more suffering, just continual joy and peace and togetherness.
ReplyDeleteCara
Your family has been on my heart and in my mind almost constantly this past week. I have been praying and will continue to pray for all of you. Thank you for continuing to share your family with all of us. Lucy is such a special gift from God and she has touched the lives of many.
ReplyDeleteMy children are too young to share Lucy's story with, but I keep a little journal to both of them. This week I have thought several times that I need to write about Lucy to them so they can know about this precious girl their mommy never met, and know how she changed so many lives, and understand why sometimes when I give them a hug, I just don't want to let go. After reading this post, I know I will be making those journal entries today. We will not forget!
ReplyDeleteMy heart just aches for you. I can't imagine how you are feeling. I'm praying God brings you peace and comfort. There is nothing better you can do than to hold that sweet girl every second. She is blessed to have such a loving mother and father. You are in my thoughts constantly.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your news with us. Lucy, you, and your whole family have touched so many hearts and lives. I know God has special plans for all of you.
ReplyDeleteI am praying for all of you throughout each day. God will be with all of you through this every moment of the way.
What a gift all of you are to so many!
You have changed us. We will never forget sweet Kate.
ReplyDeleteOOhh Kate,
ReplyDeleteTears streammed down my face as I read your post this morning. How I hurt for you....for ALL of you!! I can tell you this 100% Kate....I WILL NEVER FORGET LUCY...NEVER!!! She has touched my heart & soul much like you have.
From one Mama to another, as I was reading your post I just wanted to climb through the screen to be where you are, to hold YOU in my arms & then sweet Lucy. The need to take your hurt away is profound as the reality is, nothing I could possibly say or do will take even an ounce of your pain. I'm sorry Kate.
I'm glad you are able to have a few magical moments with Lucy! I really hope she will be strong and stable enough to be able to go home. I will continue to pray for your whole famiily so all of you will find strength & solace. I also hope you & Eric will be able to rest. Please remember Kate, I am here if you need anything!!!
Love,
Jenn
I could not have expressed my sentiments any better than this. I believe in Lucy too.
ReplyDeleteI can assure you, that beautiful cheerful face, with those bright blue eyes, that contagious smile, and beautiful hair or during the cancer that beautiful bald head, will never be forgotten. She is too amazing, too bright, too beautiful, too smart to be forgotten. She is too much of a fighter to ever be forgotten. Know that we all pray for everything on your list and so much more. Kate you have to be one of the strongest women I will ever meet, even though I have never met you. Your strength and determination that you have had through this entire journey never seem to weaken even if just for a moment. I promise that I can never ever ever forget sweet Lucy, sweet Ella, or precious Jack, or you and Erik. Much love from Idaho
ReplyDeleteKate, you beautifully and honestly expressed what so many of us are asking on your behalf – “why, God, why?” Yet, the telling and powerful thing is that even in the midst of the doubt and anger, maybe not even consciously, your words still point to the power of prayer and the hope of Jesus.
ReplyDeleteAs a believer, in the last few days, I have questioned and doubted the core of what I believe about the character of God. Is He really good? Because right now, He doesn't look or seem good in my human eyes. Last night, I rattled through all the expressions and answers that we all try and come up with to justify and explain why God doesn't appear to be healing Lucy here on earth - He has a plan, He needs her in Heaven, He's using her to reach other people, etc. Where I netted out is that all of those answers are hollow in the midst of pain.
The surprising thing is that I found myself saying "I still believe." No matter what I see or feel and in the face of no satisfying answers, somehow, I still believe. Then it occurred to me that this is really the core of faith. Believing, even when you can’t see, don’t understand, and nothing makes sense. You may feel as though you are on a roller coaster, with your faith…but just know that we all see it is still there, even though you may perceive it to be the size of a mustard seed. And it is pure and beautifully real.
None of us, no matter how hard we try, can logically answer the question of why. And just like you can’t take Lucy’s place in this battle, we can’t even begin to take away your pain. All we can do is believe (regardless of what our eyes see and what our hearts feel), pray, and love you through it.
I read something recently in a book where the author said he had to just focus on the truth of scripture after his son went to Heaven due to a car accident. He couldn’t listen to what anyone else said, even though well meaning. And he couldn’t allow himself to focus on what God “seemed” like in the throes of his pain. He had to just keep repeating over and over and cling mightily to what scripture says about who God is, and what He’s really like. Even when it didn’t line up with his circumstance or his feelings.
I pray for strengthened faith, revelation, wisdom, hope, and power for you, dear Kate.
I will continue to pray for mercy for sweet Lucy and your precious family.
And don’t you worry - no matter what happens, we will not forget Lucy. She is super special…
“I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength he exerted when he raised Christ from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every name that is invoked, not only in the present age but also in the one to come.” Ephesians 1:17-21
Kate, you don't know me but I feel like I know you because of your generosity in shring Lucy's life with us. I want you to know Lucy will not be forgotten. The spirit of Lucy, the essence of her will live within your love. She will be a part of the life of your family and as long as you have a breath of life within you, she will continue to impact this sad world we live in with her light. Then when you have gone to join her in heaven she will live on in Ella and Jack. The beauty of Lucy's heart is a gift to you that will keep on giving. My prayers are with you and your family. I know what you face as I, too, have walked that road. I pray comfort for you and strength and I am sure you will receive both just as I did. Thank you for your honesty and generosity as you have journeyed through the past year and a half. May you be filled with peace now as you complete this road and begin a new one.
ReplyDeleteOh Kate, I read this with tears in my eyes. I hurt for you and your family so badly at the moment. What you said about arms made me cry. Others have said what I am feeling and thinking far better than I ever could. When you said the other day you find strength in your blogging family, know that we will always be here for you and your family. If it is your wish that you take Lucy home then I pray too that the antibiotics work and you are able to spend some together at home as a precious family. Your strength, dedication and most of all faith amaze and astound me.
ReplyDeleteLove and hugs to you all,
Elizabeth
P.S. The balloon idea suggested by a fellow commentor is a really neat idea. The links from links from links have spread Lucy's story far and wide.
I will never forget. I have muttered prayer after prayer these past few days, and will continue to do so. Love from nc.
ReplyDeleteI will never forget her Kate! I promise! I will never forget your little blond hair, blue eyed beauty who has completely captured my heart! She will always have a place in my heart that is especially hers!!! I pray for mercy for your precious baby, strength for all of you, but I'm still praying for a miracle! I believe in Lucy Krull! So true... Against all hope, in hope I believe! (((HUGS))) to you sweet Kate! Wrapping you all in prayers!!!!
ReplyDeleteKate, thank you so much for spending those precious few moments updating the blog. Know that your specific prayer requests as well as many others are being said as I type this by many. I was honored to meet you guys at the Go Lucy race this year and have followed Lucy's story for the last 18 months. As we pray for your husband's strength and grieving, so we do yours as mothers do tend to put themselves last. Praying without ceasing as we know He is in control!
ReplyDeleteI'm a longtime reader but have never commented. My heart is with you and your family right now. I am praying, as I have done from the beginning. And I will not forget your beautiful, precious girl. Nor will I forget your family. EVER.
ReplyDeletePrayers for you, Erik, Ella, Lucy, and Jack during this time.
ReplyDeleteAmy
I was sitting in front of my computer with my coffee reading your latest update and my 5yr old daughter walks by and stops, turns to me and says, "Mommy, that little girl is beautiful! What is her name?!" I tell her it is Lucy and she is a sick little girl. She in return says, "Well we should pray for her, Jesus loves little children Mommy". So we did and will continue to do so for your entire family.
ReplyDeleteMelanie
I will..
ReplyDeleteKate hon, I will remember Lucy always. She has touched my heart and I pray and pray often for her. I have spent many weeks over the last 18 months fasting for her, for God to reach into your family and make Himself real to you, that He will manifest His Spirit in your family. I have cried and cried for Lucy and sat at our Father's feet pleading with Him and speaking life and health into sweet Lucy, reminding Jesus of our marriage covenant. Hon, I will always remember Lucy, I have spent myself in prayer for her and your dear family. :)
ReplyDeleteI will be continuing to pray and lift these requests up to God, please don't give up on a miracle. Jesus tells us to seek the Father's face and to continue to knock on the door until He answers. I know there are many doing this and I join my heart with theirs and knock.
Love and hugs and surrounding you all in prayer often.
<><
Scripture can be hard to understand when our hearts are broken; things don't always make sense. Some things we will never, never understand.
ReplyDeleteI hope you are encouraged by this verse that speaks of God's ongoing care...
Isaiah 63:9
In all their suffering he also suffered,
and he personally rescued them.
In his love and mercy he redeemed them.
He lifted them up and carried them through all the years.
My sons and their friends set up a lemonade stand yesterday called "Lemonade for Love" and they are donating 50% of their proceeds this summer to St Jude in honor of Lucy and of our friend Bryce too. We have decided that not only will we do the lemonade stand each summer for Lucy and Bryce, we will also look for other ways to honor them all year long. Always.
ReplyDeleteI don't know you or your family personally but I have been praying for you guys since finding your blog just after Lucy's diagnosis. I believe no one found your blog by coincidence; it was God-guided.
Praying always. Loving Lucy.
Always.
First thing I did this morning was read your post, say a prayer and shed some tears. . Then guess what happened?? I turned on the TV and and guess again what was on?? I LOVE LUCY.. My tears turned to smiles .. I do love Lucy and know that everytime I see this on, I will think of her. I hope for you that your tears will turn into smiles regularly thru the next days and years to come.
ReplyDeleteDear sweet family you are in the hearts of many around the world at this time. Lucy will ALWAYS be remembered. Lucy's spunkiness has helped me to deal with some of my own medical issues over the past 6 months. I worked at LeBonheur in the earlu 90's and have supported them throughout the years. I wish there was more I could do but know that I am covering your family in prayer. Miracles happen every day and I am hoping big time for a miracle for your little Lucy!!
ReplyDeleteWith Love,
Vickie Heydenreich
Prayers being lifted up to you and your family.
ReplyDeleteKate - There are so many questions I have about the "whys" of this life. God's plans certainly aren't so easily understood.... We do have the privilege of knowing Lucy, not as well as many, but we can put a face & a memory with her name when we pray for her. Kindermusik was a great way to see Lucy's booming & bubbly personality :), and "Miss Kate" is pretty special at our house, too. We are honored to call your family "friends", and we pray so fervently that you all feel God's love surrounding you through the family, friends, & caregivers present with you at this time. We believe in Lucy. We believe in God's ultimate plan... You are all on our hearts & minds, and in our prayers, being lifted up by so many. Love to you all - The Freemans
ReplyDeleteI wanted to share that my heart too has been inspired to pray for a miracle. Kate, I don't even know you but I am praying day and night, every time I wake up to nurse my baby, for a miracle. Lucy has taken this world by storm and I am pleading for healing. But no matter how that healing takes place, here or in heaven, a song comes to mind my sister taught me, "God is good, all the time, He put a song of praise in this heart of mine, God is good, all the time, He put a song of praise in this heart of mine, God is good, God is good, all the time!" PS: I sent an email to you via the email address provided here titled "Hi, Im Melrose" I hope you got it.
ReplyDeleteLucy is so sweet you can tell she is by the way she looks and acts to her own family and friends and I pray every night sayin that the she shud not go yet and for the lord not to take her yet bc no one is ready for her to go yet and a lot more stuff and right now since my kid plays softball all they wont is to wear pink and purple ribbons in their hair and have on their uniforms is... GO LUCY GO!!! and the oner of Lucy Krull. In pink and purple bc they really care about her
ReplyDeleteI have been following Lucy's story for a while now, and am heartbroken to read that she is not doing well. You will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers, and please be assured that Lucy HAS had an impact on all of us who have followed her journey. She will not be forgotten!
ReplyDeleteWith love,
Monica
I can promise you this Kate, I will NEVER EVER forget your baby. As a fellow Tipton Countian, I have followed your blog from day 1. I still have my ribbon on my light by the road even though it is very tattered from weather, I still have my "Go Lucy Go" sticker on my car window. I don't know if I could ever take them off. I DO believe Lucy has touched a lot of lives and I hope as much as you that people don't forget down the road. I am pretty much raising my 2 1/2 year old grandson, and this HAS DEFINITELY given me a new perspective on things. I love that little boy with as much love as any mother could have even though he is not my child. I make sure he gets to enjoy his sweet little life. He is my WHOLE world. I promise to you that I will remember Lucy and her short life and remember to help my grandson make the most of his. This HORRIBLE, WRETCHED thing could happen to anyone, anytime and we ALL need to remember that. We all need to be good to each other, help each other, LOVE each other and be as happy as we can be with our lives. MUCH, MUCH love, hugs, and prayers to your whole family, all your friends and extended family as you go through this in the days, weeks, months and years to come.
ReplyDeleteKate, as many others have stated my heart breaks for you, Erik, Ella, and Jack, as well as the millions of people who have been following Lucy"s journey. I was blessed enough to see Lucy at one of Ella's soccer games just a month or so ago. I found myself in complete awe of your precious baby girl. I wanted so much to approach you all and tell you how much my heart has been touched by Lucy's journey, but my words seemed far to simple at that moment. Lucy has fought this battle with more strength, faith, and courage then most adults ever possibly could fight. Your precious angel has touched the hearts and souls of more people in her 5 years on this earth than any of us will ever encounter if we live to be 100. I can't speak for anyone but myself, but I will assure you, Lucy will forever have a special place in my heart. Kate, you carry yourself with such strength, grace and dignity. Your devotion to God and your family is AMAZING!!!! Please know that you all are loved by so many. Prayers will not cease for The Krull family. Thank you so much for sharing Lucy with the world. Nothing that touches Lucy will ever be in vain!!!!
ReplyDeleteLifting up these requests. All I know to do is pray.
ReplyDeleteKate, we are all praying for your family. Once again, I live less than 10 minutes from LeBonhuer. If you would like something delivered, message me on Facebook. The LeBonheur staff will bring you anything left at the front desk. You have a much bigger extended family than you realize, and we are all praying for your family.
ReplyDeleteLucy will never be forgotten. I have been following your blog and Lucy's journey for over a year now. Sweet Lucy has taught me so much. At seventeen years old, it's easy to get carried away with life's blessings. At the same time, I think it's easy to think that my problems are the worst ones out there. However, Lucy has helped me put my life in perspective. Lucy has shown me that there are people out there suffering so much more than me, and that my problems are miniscule compared to hers. But your sweet daughter takes on God's tough plan with a smile on her face. That's why I will never forget Lucy. I'm so glad that I found your blog because not only Lucy but your entire family has taught me what trusting in God truly means. Every night, I read my prayer book and pray so hard for Lucy and your entire family. My heart hurts for you all, and I cannot begin to imagine the pain you are feeling. But remember, God has such an amazing plan for your sweet Lucy!
ReplyDeletePraying for each of your intentions. All I can offer is our love and prayers from a family in Phoenix that pray for you each and every day.
ReplyDeleteEntering this battle alongside you, and praying for Lucy's complete healing, all to the Glory of God.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking her name to the Lord today.
Praying from Toronto, Canada
Kate, Thank you for the specific prayer requests. I am posting specifically to tell you that I had already been lead by the Lord to pray for four of them. Just saying to prove to you that God does
ReplyDeletehave his hand on people all over the country, telling us how to pray, even before "you ask or think".
I have no idea what you are going through, but I will pray for the items on the list. What a
privilege it would be to meet your precious family some day. You never know what God might
do.
In Christ love,
Janet Dreher
Oh Kate,
ReplyDeleteI don't understand it either. How could God let a little girl suffer like this? It's at times like this that I wish I could see as God sees. See the beginning, middle, and the end. All we can do is cling to the hope of God's promises. Which is easy for me to say as I am not in your shoes. I pray that you and your loved ones will experience a peace that passes understanding in the days ahead. Thanks for the specific prayer needs. I will storm the gates of heaven on your behalf.
Praying and promise to still be lifting up your family for years to come. What a precious gift Lucy is to all of us. Praying for peace only Christ can give to you, Erik, Ella and Jack. Praying for no suffering for Lucy!!! What a testimony she has!!
ReplyDeleteAlways praying for sweet Lucy and your precious family! How could anyone forget this special angel God put on this earth? I don't think any of her "blog family" will ever forget the little girl who touched their lives in an unimaginable way! she will forever be a bright spot in our hearts!
ReplyDeleteKate.
ReplyDeletePlease know your beautiful blonde haired blue eyed beautiful child will never be forgotten. Lucy's story is such an inspiration. I believe she is a very special child who has enriched all of our lives. My children are much older but you have taught me to be a much better mom and she has taught me to love at a much deeper level.
I am praying for each specific need you mentioned I am also Praying for you!!!
Today at the beach I built a sandcastle in honor of Lucy I will continue to keep your family in my prayers
MAry beth kindred
I hadn't prayed for over 4 years prior to finding your site 18 months ago. Now, it may not exactly be praying, but I'm at least having conversations with God. Just another little way of how Lucy has touched another.
ReplyDeleteI have been following Lucy's story for a few months now. I want to address your fear that in a few years, we who are loving her from afar will forget her. Two years ago I watched the story of a little 2-year-old named Layla Grace unfold as her parents - with hospice - brought her home to die. One of the posts her mother wrote was about how she used to "help" unload the dishwasher. Every.single.time I unload the dishwasher (especially when I have "help") I remember to be thankful for what I have and I pray for peace for that family. I can promise that I won't likely forget Lucy and her story any time soon. It has touched my heart. Blessings.
ReplyDeleteI'm praying here in Slippery Rock, PA.
Your prayer requests will be passed on to my church Sunday am. Thank you again for updating us. I hope one day we will all understand why some get a miracle and some don't. I don't believe God turns His back on anyone. God is with you, always. In good times and especially the bad times. I have had that reinforced from your words the last 18 months! Your precious Lucy will not be forgotton, her strength has been passed on to many many people. I pray you and Eric get some rest tonight, knowing your prayer requests are being met by hundreds of people. Tell Ella we are thinking of her and send hugs. Dear Lord, may the prayers that Kate has in her heart but may be too tired to pray, come to you quickly for she is so weary. Amen
ReplyDeleteYou are an awesome mother and wife Kate.
God bless all of you tonight.
As a mother who lost a child, Joshua (not to cancer, but to SIDS) I beg you all to listen to AuntieMip! Please speak Lucy's name! Please remember her birthday, please remember her on Mother's Day, on Christmas, on Father's Day. Speak her name. Continue to pray for the Krull's - and do not give up on Lucy! I do not understand why children have to suffer and leave us - but thank God it is not forever! Kate - remember you have eternity with your sweet, happy baby girl!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the update! Praying, praying, praying. I'm a nurse. I see a lot of ugly. We talk about patients(even years later). I will ALWAYS remember Lucy and share her story.
ReplyDeletethis is brandi kennedy and lexi again....kate i must tell you of the conversation i had with my daughter on the phone today...(she is visiting family in tn)
ReplyDeletelexi "are the drs helping little lucy?"
me "there's nothing else they can do for her except help take away her pain"
lexi "thats ok....she doesnt need the dr...God can help her"
This life at its longest is short-- a vapor. I have shared Lucy's fight in Sunday School lessons and devotionals. Throughout these months, I have gone to your blog daily and I plan to continue reading, because I know you will pour out a truth and a message that I need for my journey and I will share it whenever I can. Lucy will NEVER be forgotten and she will live in places you may never know. "Now we see through the glass darkly, but then shall we see face to face." I believe like that great gospel hymn, "we WILL understand it better, by and by." Sing the hymns you know so well to Lucy. They will comfort you both.
ReplyDeletePraying for God to give you good days with your family and visible arms of strength and mercy
I just heard about sweet little Lucy from Kelly's Korner (blog) and my heart just breaks for your family. I went back to when she was first diagnosed and read through all of your posts and I finished with tears in my eyes. Lucy is such a beautiful little girl and has the biggest smile, just so full of life. I hate that you guys have had to go through this as no parent should ever have to experience this with their child. I will continue to pray for your family and especially for Lucy. May He comfort you in this time of need.
ReplyDeletePraying
ReplyDeletePraying
Praying
I was 8 posts behind and now speechless. Sick to my stomach like I may throw up. Right now all I can say is that I will pray for you and your requests. God has a plan. So many times we don't understand it because we can't see the big picutre. There is a big picture. We know this. Faith reassures me. Remember God loves you. He loves each one of you more than you could imagine.
ReplyDeleteKate, I have followed Lucy's journey for awhile now. My 12 year old daughter and I pray for you all daily.I honestly can't think of words to express my sorrow for all that you and your precious family are going through,so I have asked God to write them for me...
ReplyDeleteI don't pretend to know how you feel- how you hurt- how you are grieving, but God does. He's hurting right along with you- He catches every tear you shed- after all, He was one of us- Human- He understands. He loves you and Lucy as any father would- only so much more. I know when one of my children is hurt or scared, I want to protect them-take the pain away- God feels the same.
When He told us in the Bible to lean not unto our own understanding, I think so many of struggle with this tremendously. We want answers- we want to know- we want to UNDERSTAND!
You wrote all you have is faith but faith is really all you need. Everything is based on it....
We hold on to this world so tightly, but it's not even where we,
as God's children belong. It's just a stop on the way to our real home. Kate, I can't comprehend having to say goodbye to my child so soon, but what a comfort knowing where your child is going and that one day you'll never have to say goodbye again!! What joy that will bring! Two of my children have been baptized- the other two I am waiting for God to save....I know He will- I have FAITH!
We will never know why God takes some of us home so young , while others stay till they're old and gray, but knowing that Jesus is waiting on me, no matter what earthly age He takes me- well, it's all I need to get by...
Just know that so many of your brothers and sisters in Christ are praying for you and your sweet Lucy and your whole family. Sometimes one of the hardest things to do is to let go and just let God take over. He promises to see us through and that even the worst will become something beautiful- He keeps His promises. He always does....
"Behold I am the Lord, the God of all flesh; is there anything to difficult for me?" Jeremiah 32:27
In Christ's love, Jeannie
Dear Kate
ReplyDeleteYou are an inspiration to mothers everywhere. Praying for you and your family and carers.
Nicole xxxxxxxxx
I think of you so often and pray that our great God, who knows all things, comforts and upholds you. I don't understand any of this either, but can only be assured of God's promises that he holds your little girl, as well as the rest of your family, in the palm of His hand. It only makes my long even more for His return.
ReplyDeleteCaroline
BC, Canada
Kate,
ReplyDeleteI know that nothing I can say right now can bring you comfort or the answers you want. I do want you to know that I was a nurse on the brain tumor floor at a children's hospital from 2002-2005. 7 Years later, I remember the first and last name, the age, the face, and the personalities of every single Medulloblastoma patient I cared for. I haven't talked to many of the families in years, but I think about them often and pray. To this day, I think about what they went through and how they would love their "life before cancer" back, and so I hug my own kids a little tighter and play with them a little longer. "All things work for the good of those who love God." (Romans 8:28) I don't believe that means that God causes these bad things to happen - but it is a promise that He will use any terrible, awful thing, and bring good out of it. That's certainly been true for me and the sweet, sweet families I grew to love almost a decade ago.
Still praying for an earthly healing and love, love, love what AuntieMip said.
Jessica Jackson
My prayers are with all of you and have been since I found your blog. Those we love are always in our hearts and their stories stay with us now and always.
ReplyDeleteat the beginning of this blog, you were writing about all that was well in your life despite some rough patches. you wrote you had an "amazingly perfect God. One who is right here with me through this all. One who will never leave nor forsake me. He IS my very help in trouble."
ReplyDeleteyou still have the same God.
i know it doesn't seem like it, and none of us understand this so i can't imagine the inner battle you're facing. but i promise you 2 things: what you said is still true, and i can only speak for myself but i will be remembering Lucy & praying for your family for the rest of my life. that seems a rather large commitment for people i've never even spoken to, but of all the stories i follow in order to cover the people involved with prayer, God has really drawn me to you guys. i don't know why, but i won't ignore that pull to keep you covered in prayer.
I have only stumbled upon your blog a few months ago. Your family's love, strength and courage are inspiring. I will remember your brave Lucy for time to come because I have a Lucy of my own. She is 3 years old. These past few days I have held her a bit tighter and I have let go of the little things that do not really matter. Praying for comfort for Lucy as she battles.
ReplyDelete-- Jessica in Illinois
I am just finding your page for the first time today. As a mother of 2 children on earth and one in Heaven (that I lost before she was born), I wish that no mother or father ever had to know what losing a child feels like. There is no other pain that can top it. Sending my love and prayers for Lucy and for your entire family.
ReplyDeletetears are flowing. I have been following this since the beginning. I am praying for all of those items you asked for. I can't even imagine. Lucy is a fighter....she is my hero.....
ReplyDeletePraying for God to do all these things in your lives as only He can. We will never understand the why's of this life, but we can always know that HE is Sovereign and He will bestow grace upon grace and strength upon strength to you as you need it. My prayer is that God will reach down and heal that baby with His mighty and awesome power. If He chooses to heal her in heaven, may we never lose our faith. May we never waiver in our beliefs. May we always give Him all praise and all glory for what He has ordained for Lucy. I pray for rest and comfort for you all.
ReplyDeleteLucy's story has touched our family. My daughter Hannah is 6 and has been praying for Lucy and asked about her on so many random occasions when I would not expect her to think of a stranger. Thank you for sharing your journey with us, even though we have not met you in person. Your courage and fears, all of it. Our prayers are with you.
ReplyDeleteI read this post first thing this morning. I had a huge list of things to do today: grocery shopping, laundry, dry cleaners, etc. Because of Lucy, I dropped everything and spent the day with my daughter. I soaked up every minute of the day with her, praising God for allowing these precious moments. My heart is breaking for your family and the path that you have found yourselves on. I am checking the blog two and three and four times a day to check for any news and each time I stop by, I say another prayer. Grace and Peace to you.
ReplyDeleteYes, in 1,2,5 years we will remember Lucy. In 50 years, yes. The answer will always be yes, as Lucy is one little girl who cannot be forgotten. It is not possible, whether she was met in person or through her story, which in no way ends here.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for saying this. It has been 15 years since my son died, and everything you said is true for any parent who is going through this. My heart goes out to the family.
ReplyDeleteWe will never forget. Lucy will remain in our hearts forever, her fight has not been in vain.
ReplyDeleteI am a nurse and work with premature and sick babies on the NICU floor. I have witnessed parents lose their baby and I have grieved along with them. I have often wondered the same thing, why does God have to use our innocent children? All I can come up with is that children are so much tougher than us and handle pain with such grace in comparison to adults. Children are better able to teach us lessons, appreciation, and love than anyone else.
We are praying so hard for Lucy and your family. She will always, always remain in our hearts. Lucy has made such an impact on every single one of us, regardless if we have met her in person. Sending so many prayers, hugs, and love your way.
As I've sat here reading the latest about Lucy I find it so hard to find the right words, then I realized, it's not just my words that have special meaning, but look at all the comments from so many people. So it's a combination of words showing love, prayers, joy, sorrow, support, and hope. It's in all these prayers and words that you see all the love from so many people. Even though none of us can find the perfect words, they are there, we just don't see them. I wish I could just hold Lucy like you have been doing & feel all the love she has for everyone. That strength you feel when holding Lucy is God holding both of you. Lucy's story will never end as it will never be forgotten
ReplyDeleteWhat a blessing as a mother to be able to offer your child comfort. Cherish each of these moments. And I will pray you continue to have them. For Lucy, for you and Erik and Jack. And especially for your sweet Ella.
ReplyDeleteMy heart if so heavy for you right now. I have been following your blog for over a year now and don't even remember how I stumbled upon it. I have prayed for your sweet Lucy every day since I first read about her. I pray now and will always pray for your family. I will not forget Lucy. Just seeing her face in pictures and hearing your stories, what a beautiful and unique little girl you have. May God Bless you and keep you.
ReplyDeleteYour words have blessed me tonight! You are indeed holding the Kings crown jewels! And even now he is answering the prayer of thousands because even as you are walking this road, your heart is for the restored faith of children. You bless me to no end. Not only will I not forget your precious daughter, I will not forget you. Praying for you over and over and over!
ReplyDeleteLord, hear our prayers for the Krull family!
ReplyDeleteWords are to simple to express the stirring in my heart as a mother, as a survivor, and as a Christian. Thank you for being so transparent and real. Thank you for saying out loud the things that you truly struggle with as I have often struggled alone with the same things in different contexts. I have been talking to my little girl about your little girl....she is a popular little gal! My fellow mommy love is with you! I pray for peace and rest for you!
ReplyDeleteKate
ReplyDeleteI know I will not forget Lucy!!!! Please know she has a special place in my heart where she will stay. I know personally how important it is to remember.
I will remember Lucy!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for your family. It's not fair. I don't understand why. It sucks. But I do believe, as I know you do, that our God is faithful.
From 1 Corinthians 13:12-13, The Message, "We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us! But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love."
Stephanie
Richmond, Virginia
Kate,
ReplyDeleteMy heart is aching for your family. I cannot begin to know the heartbreak you are feeling. Know that I am praying ceaselessly for your family and all involved with Lucy. I am still praying for miracles. Today was our towns Relay For Life (in Gardner Ma) I want you to know that I walked in the relay and was praying for Lucy as I walked. My prayers are with you. I am praying for comfort and strength hope and joy.
Your faith has changed my life! You have talked about this not being in vain, and I want you to know that I am not taking any day for granted. I am taking hold of the fact we are not promised a tomorrow and to live each day to the fullest. I WON"T FORGET LUCY! EVER!!! With all the love and prayers I can muster....
~Danielle
I'm praying now for all of your prayer requests as tears are streaming down my cheeks. Please God hold Lucy and her family close and give them peace and comfort....
ReplyDeleteYou have changed us all. We will never forget, sweet Kate.
ReplyDeleteMy heart breaks for you and your family, Kate. I'm praying for Lucy and for your family.
ReplyDeleteI will never forget your brave sweet girl. My heart aches for you and your sweet Lucy. Praying for peace, love and God's mercy to surround you all.
ReplyDeleteI am praying for you and your family. May God wrap his arms around each of you in the coming days. Always keep the faith!!
ReplyDeleteWill lift these prayer requests up. xoxo
ReplyDeleteOh my. . .I just read this after putting my son to bed, who fell asleep in my arms. . .I am praying for you all. May the peace of God, who passes all understanding, be wth you now and forever. Amen.
ReplyDeleteAnd because Kate speaks "so beautifully in the face of so much pain"...and has used words to bare her heart, a wonderful way to immortalize Lucy can come later. I firmly believe Kate has a book in her, built day to day and week by week as she has shared her hopes and fears, despairs and joys She has and is typing on her computer what her heart is pouring out. Within it all is the talent to write a book about Lucy's experiences and those of her family as they walked this road together. When the time is right, I hope she will put Lucy and her family's walk on paper...a way that Lucy can live on and on and on in those who read of her.
ReplyDeleteKate,
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful expression of a mother's unending love!!!
James 1:18 states that "...with evil things God cannot be tried, nor does he himself try anyone..." I believe people say this because they don't really know what else to say. There is no bigger evil for your family or little Lucy right now than her battle with this awful disease. A loving God would not and has not brought this upon your little girl. Keep your confidence in God high even though it is probably very hard right now. He promises us he is "not far off from each of us." The things Lucy is having to endure right now will be remembered by God. Her smile, her little personality, etc. these are etched in stone as far as he is concerned. The time is coming when she will be "whole" again. No pain, no sickness, etc. You asked if anyone would remember 1,2,5 years from now? He will! He gave his only Son so we could have life...not to be suffering as Lucy and your family is. When one of his little ones hurts, he hurts. Our thoughts are with you all!
I pray for Lucy daily constantly. It just doesn't seem fair that she has to suffer. I always thought cancer was a way to make you pay for your sins, but how can a 5 year have that many sins to go through the pain she has.
ReplyDeleteI will always remember Lucy. I don't want her to suffer, but I don't want her to quit fighting either.
Kate I hope you and your family get the chance to take her home. And spend as much quality time with her away from doctors and hospitals.
Praying!!!
ReplyDeletePraying for you and your family.
ReplyDeleteI can absolutely, 100% promise that I will never forget Lucy or her amazing journey. I promise. Not one day has passed in the last 500 days where Lucy has not crossed my mind in some way, and this will continue to happen for as long as I live. For awhile you had the song "Arms" by Cristina Perry playing everytime your website loaded. I quickly fell in love with that song as soon as I heard it on your blog, and it is still one of my favorite songs. "Arms" is my Lucy song, it will forever be my Lucy song.
ReplyDeleteIf you don't mind, I would love to share with you how I will forever remember Lucy. I don't remember when you shared this post, but it was when you were going to one of Ella's school or church productions, I think it was around Thanksgiving. Lucy was using her little walker, so she still wasn't moving too fast, but you turned your head for a minute and when you looked back she was gone. You were panicking trying to find her, but when you went inside there Lucy was, standing next to Ella all dressed up like the other kids, standing confident and proud, singing along to the songs that she didn't know. I remember reading that post thinking 'now this is a girl who lets nothing get in her way, this is a girl who just loves life.' This is how Lucy will be to me for the rest of my life, standing confident and proud, so sure of herself, singing her little heart out not letting anything get in her way.
Lots of Love,
Lauren
Tears in my eyes. I am so sorry you are going thru this. I will pray.
ReplyDeleteMariaG (Canada)
God is merciful.
ReplyDeleteI'll pray for Lucy and for you!
BShell
Kate, Erik, Ella, Jack and saving the most important until last-Lucy, that sweet, beautiful girl we have grown to love. I hate this turn in direction her illness has taken and have cried over the prognosis. No parent is supposed survive their child, never, ever. I hope that you are aware how many people love you all, especially Lucy. I am so sorry your family is growing through this heartache, I think of you so many times during the day and have never met. That is the impact of that awesome little Lucy. Thoughts, prayers and loving sent to you from Massachusetts.
ReplyDeleteKate, I do not know your family personally, but I feel like I do. I go to bed thinking of Lucy and wake up thinking of her. I pray for you and your family everyday. The Lord knows your pain and will surely help you through this. GO LUCY GO!
ReplyDeleteI will always be team Lucy and will always run for Lucy, i pray for you and your family Mrs Kate. Lucy will always be remembered. I pray for peace and comfort in this hard time
ReplyDeleteI admire all the followers who continually take time to pray and post encouragement for Lucy and her family. I know Lucy and her family (a little anyways) and follow her blog, but never take the time to post. After reading AuntieMip's comments, I thought maybe it was time. I was still hesitant until I came upon Shelley's post.
ReplyDelete*AuntieMip - without going into too much detail, ditto! You speak the absolute truth in everything you said.
*Shelley - your comment about balloons sent chills up my spine. Let me explain why (meanwhile sharing my most favorite, wonderful Lucy moment).
One day, when Lucy was very, very sick, and not talking much, I said to her "Lucy, every time I see you or think of you, I can't help but think of the song 'Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.' I bet you've never heard of the song, have you?"
Of course she had not
I wrote it down for her. Then I thought about it. I said something along the lines of "you are a little young to like diamonds, what would you like."
She smiled real big and replied "balloons...more like Lucy in the Sky with a Million Balloons."
I erased the word "diamonds" and wrote the words "a million balloons" A big smile peeked at me. I can't stop thinking about it now.
I agree, Lucy and her family will leave behind a legacy and a story that will never be easily forgotten. May you find peace.
I will also remember Lucy. I will remember her as I watch my nine-year-old daughter, and hug her a little tighter and rejoice in the privilege of watching her grow. I won't take it for granted. I will also remember her each time I check a Caringbridge site. I chose the password "LucyKate" in honor of two brave little girls fighting brain cancer, and I chose it because I knew I wouldn't forget them. This was over a year ago, by the way. You have been much in my prayers over the past few days, as you have been since the early days of Lucy's diagnosis.
ReplyDeleteI cried when I read this...hard! I will never forget sweet Lucy! She has made too big of an impact on my life to forget. It hurts deaply to even think about losing her. I love her so much even having not ever met her. You are being a great mother!...staying by her side and helping her fight. It is so comforting to have your mommy right there...I can vouch for that. Several times when I struggle to breathe or I'm swollen, my mom is right there with me...it's just a peace and comfort having her there. You're doing the right thing. I wish I could take even an ounce of your pain away, but all I can do is pray. I'm praying hard for your family. Even though we don't understand why God would use a 5 year old little girl in this way, we have to remember that God is Perfect and His plan is Perfect. (((hugs))) to all of y'all!!
ReplyDeleteLove, hope, & prayers 4 Lucy,
Allison
www.caringbridge.org/visit/allisonworkman
I heard about Lucy when my middle daughter was invited to go to a dance workshop Lucy fundraiser at a dance studio owned by a mutual friend. I have read your blog every day since then. My 3 girls and I all pray for Lucy. I also pray for you. Lucy's story, through your words, has touched my life. YOU have touched my life. Kate, your writing is so honest, so raw, it just pierces the heart. I know so many have said that, and it's likely small comfort when it's your child dying causing the words that are touching so many to flow. I put myself in your place and would I want God to use my daughter's life in this way to touch others, strangers, or have her happy and whole with me here on earth? Of course all parents would rather the latter. To be honest, I don't think I'm the kind of person who could even be used that way, because I in no way would have handled myself with the kind of trust and faith, you've shown through all this, while keeping it real as well. I've never met Lucy, but I won't forget her or the example you have set for me and so many others.
ReplyDeleteI will remember Lucy,
ReplyDeleteI've been following her story, your story since the beggining. I'm so sad for all of you. My heart is hurting for you Kate. I'm hugging and loving my kids a little tighter these days.
I'm praying and praying. I pray for strength and peace.
Thank you again and again for sharing your amazing family with mine. I will never forget Lucy.
xo Tanya
(sorry for the crazy mess in the post i posted before this one, but my comments in the little "< >" are NUTS.... not really sure what happened)
ReplyDeleteit was supposed to say:
"kate, this has been on my heart all week" (referring to the verse about the prayers of the righteous)
"as soon as i read what you quoted your dad saying, a smile immediately crept over my entire face. Little did you know (since you were already out of youth group when i was in it) that your dad used to tell me this scripture often... i even have his name written beside that verse in my old bible."
the messed up one toward the end was supposed to say: "sorry for such as long comment, but one day whenever you read it, i want you to know NOT ONLY THAT we are praying, but HOW we are praying, and at least a little of how God has used you all to impact my life, and to encourage you along"
sorry for the craziness :p im not too tech savvy so im not exactly sure what happened!
There are no words to describe your pain. My heart literally aches for you all...no parent or child should have to go through this heartache, and my wish is that you all find peace in the coming hours...months....years. God bless you all...may Lucy's pain remind us all how precious life is.
ReplyDeleteI have never experienced the loss of a child, but my college roommate has. She lost her son 43 hrs after birth due to a blood clot at the base of his brain. It was a shock & a heartbreaker for all of us. But AunteiMip is right, NEVER stop saying Lucy's name. My friend & her husband encouraged EVERYONE to talk about their son as much as they wanted. Two years later, we all still talk about him!!! I truly believed it helped in the grief/healing process for them. Lucy will never be forgotten by me or my family!!!
ReplyDeleteTonight as we say our prayers, Lucy is always on our list, we will pray for your specifics. But in addition to those we will be praying for YOU!!! I know that us as Moms tend to forget about ourselves & try to be the strong ones no matter what. It's just what Mom's do for our children. We never want them to see us hurting. However, we all have a breaking point. My prayer for you is that you find peace & comfort in this situation no matter how hard. That you find rest & understanding beyond anything you thought possible. That the mercy of Jesus will envelope you each & everyday.
My brother was diagnosed with medulloblastoma in April 2001, and he fought multiple relapses over the years. On April 9th of this year, we found out that his disease was progressing again while on treatment, and he decided to pursue the last available treatment to him. We hoped and prayed that somehow it would work, but each day we could see the disease becoming stronger and stronger. Then the chemo turned out to be too much for his body, weakened by all of the treatments he received over the last 11 years, and his counts bottomed out. My brother died suddenly on May 2nd from massive infection. We were absolutely devastated, but in hindsight we could see God's hand in everything that happened. William had suffered from the effects of his disease for a long time, but he was spared from an agonizing death from those awful tumors. We were spared from having to make decisions about his death, we never even had to talk about hospice. He died at the hospital, and my parents' house is not linked to my brother's death. There is no right or wrong way to do this, I just felt that I needed to tell you how peaceful his death was when the infection quickly took over. He became so sick so suddenly that he never knew he was dying. He was comfortable. And that has given us a lot of peace. Praying for God's peace to surround you.
ReplyDeleteI am praying blankets of warmth, strength, comfort, peace and love.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry. I so wanted Lucy's story to end differently. My hear is breaking for you. I just want to cry and know that you must be overflowing with tears. I will never forget your precious Lucy...never.
ReplyDeleteIt's no wonder to me that Lucy is such a strong, loving child who is full of precious memories......why? Look at her mother. I can only imagine the doubt that fills your heart now but please know with all certainty that Lucy's life had purpose. She will never again know pain, war, hurt, tears, and illness. She was truly a gift and she will leave that with you forever. God bless you all. Now and for the rest of your lives.
ReplyDeleteI just felt it led to share this.... I have been following another blog about a 6 year old little girl battling cancer. Her father is a man by the name of Britt Merrick and he is a pastor at a church in CA. I was just re-watching one of his sermons...this one is after Daisy's cancer had come back for the second time (she is currently battling her 3rd reoccurance) and you popped into my mind. So, I am putting the link to the sermon....it's called Struck Down but Not Destroyed....I don't know if you will want to watch it or not....but I'm just doing what God has led me to do....Share it. Continuing to pray for you ALL....
ReplyDeletehttp://prayfordaisy.com/#/daisy-video-daisys-struck-down-but-not-destroyed/
Lucy will never be forgotten in any of our lives. Her story has touched the bottom of our hearts in different ways. We are all here for you and are going thought this journey with you. I am a 12 yr old going into the 8th grade and your story has taught me more about faith, hope, love, and most of all family. Without family we would be nothing. Family is everything. They get us though the tough times and celebrate the good ones. They are always there for you. I really want you to know that you and your family have made me a different person and taught me the value of life. Your family's story will never be forgotten in any of our lives I know this for a fact. Lucy's story is branded on our souls for eternity. God will have a very special place for Lucy in heaven. Never give up faith in God even if his will seems wrong he has a very special plan. I will keep praying for Lucy forever and ever. God Bless You and have a wonderful day.
ReplyDeleteGo Lucy Go!!!!! <3
May the peace of Christ be with you. Praying for comfort for Lucy and understanding for the rest of the family. Kate, you are an inspiration.
ReplyDeleteKate,
ReplyDelete2 months ago I received the news that a friend and co-worker passed away in her sleep. I was stumbled because I kept saying ,but I just saw her and she was fine. I couldn't imagine why God would take a perfectly healthy 28 year old amazing art teacher. I go to work each day and I remember her walking down the hall with her cart, and the conversation I've had with her. I cry when I think of her because I know she's gone. I can't imagine what you're going through ,but I do know what it feels like to question if people will remember or if they have forgotten . I believe that everyone in our school remembers my friend I just know that sometimes when it's too hard to remember because it makes you sad people choose to push the memories away to ease their pain. But I don't want to push the memories away I want to remember her forever so I allow myself to get sad or upset when I think of her ,but I also allow myself to smile and laugh when I think of conversations we had. I am praying for a miracle for your family, and I believe that God will provide one. As so many people have followed your story I believe that they will continue to follow you and your family. They will continue to smile with you in good times and cry with you in the unfavorable moments. God has a plan for our lives even before we are a twinkle in our fathers eye. Each of us has things we must go through to mold us into what he has made us to be. The last 18 months are God's hand molding you, Jack,Ella,Erik, and the rest of your family. In our rough times it may seem like he is squeezing just a little too hard,but there will come moments when you feel him smoothing the clay out. I have added your specific prayers to my prayer list and will continue to pray for them. Never give up on Lucy , but also never give up on God because he doesn't give up on us. Even I. The moments we question, get angry with, or just lash out at him he's still there with open arms because he knows us better than we know ourselves. He knows what we are going, to do and say before we even think it and yet still through our imperfections he loves us and died for us . May God bless and keep you ALWAYS.
It is an amazing gift as a mother to be able to offer comfort to your child. I know you cherish every moment. Praying for all your specific prayers and for you all. You have touched me in ways I could never articulate with you amazing faith and grace.
ReplyDeleteI discovered Lucy and her journey through family still living in Covington, actually your own neighbors and close friends as well. I think we met very briefly one Halloween night while I was at their home with my granddaughter who is the same age as Lucy....this was just prior to her illness. I began reading your blog and it was like pointing a high powered laser into my own life carving out the little things that I take for granted on a daily basis. Following Lucy's journey through your eyes has made my own life richer in ways I never imagined. It has had a profound impact on me and I suspect many many others. Lucy will not be forgotten nor will you and the story of her journey. I have wept with you and have also shared in her victories. I am so very sorry for this turn of events. I cannot imagine what you must be feeling personally. Bless you Kate and your amazing strength and grace. Bless your husband who feels he must be strong for his family. Bless sweet Ella who will struggle in the days ahead and little Jack. Bless your wonderful mother...Nancy is a sweetheart and my thoughts are with her as well. Thank you most of all for sharing Lucy with all of us. We all have grown to love her so.
ReplyDeleteYou are an unbelievable person and Lucy has touched the hearts of so many people. She will not be forgotten. My heart is breaking for your family right now.
ReplyDeleteI could never, ever, ever forget sweet Lucy or you and the impact her story has had on my life. Praying for you all!!
ReplyDeletePraying for you and your family!
ReplyDeleteEline (The Netherlands)
Keep your head up knowing that we are all here holding your hand. HUgs. Kim
ReplyDeletePraying for your sweet girl and the rest of your family. It's the first thing I do in the morning and the last thing at night (with many many more during the day). As my 2 year so sweetly prayed...Lord please make Lucy's boo boo better. Amen.
ReplyDeleteOh Kate & family... prayers from Canada!!! Can't help but see a parallel from your recent post of pictures of helping Ella run her last mile... and here you are helping Lucy do her last mile. Against your will but to the very best of your ability. Wish we could all see Lucy win and cross that final finish line and see her smile and her body healed & whole dancing with Jesus! It will be better than we can think or imagine -He promises that. Eye hath not seen, ear hath not heard what He has in store for those who love Him! Trying to hold you up. Mari-beth
ReplyDeleteThat is exactly how my wife and I feel. Instead of spouting dogma, we think how we would react in this situation, especially how would we tell one of our boys that the other one is either sick or only has so much time left. Our two boys (7 and 4) love each other and enjoy each other's company very much. My wife and I cannot imagine how we could comfort our boys if we were in a similar situation. So, instead of saying "it's God's will", which it is not, try to walk a mile in the shoes of the Krull family and only then will a person even begin to understand this situation and really appreciate the strength and courage that Kate and her family has shown us.
ReplyDeletePraying for your family constantly.
ReplyDeleteI can't even begin to imagine what this is like for you. I don't even pretend to know. You are in my thoughts and my prayers around the clock. I have told my army of prayer warriors about you. I have been given a very special privilege to pray for you and your family. I believe that God brought your story across my path for just that purpose. I will pray for you continually that God will even now bring healing to your hearts as individuals and as a family. It is so difficult to walk these kind of journeys even when our heads tell us God is sovereign and in control. I know that God has a purpose and I pray that He will sustain you and bring you joy, comfort, peace and healing even now as He works out His purposes in this journey. You are deeply loved and cared for by people that don't know you in IRL because God has created His people to be His hands and feet on this earth. I am commited to praying for you.
ReplyDeleteImátkozunk értetek Magyarországról is.
ReplyDeleteThat was beautifully written Kate. I cannot imagine the heartache your family is feeling but know your beautiful Lucy and family is so loved and prayed for and she will never EVER be forgotten.
ReplyDeleteWith love,
Colleen
Kate.....Lucy will NEVER be forgotten! She will be remembered by many, many people.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't have said it better if I had tried. Kate, everyone I come in contact with these last few days I tell them about Lucy and how amazing it is that I have never met this little girl, or your family, but how much my heart is hurting for you. EVERY SINGLE PERSON has said, "I'll be praying for that little girl, and for her family." I will remember each specific thing you asked for in this post.
ReplyDeleteI have only just come upon your blog and have spent some time catching up with Lucy's battle. As a Mumu I can only begin to imagine the horror of what you are all going through. I cannot pray for you in the way you ask because I am a Buddhist but if its OK with you, I send you love and compassion and will continue to hold Lucy in my heart until her suffering passes. Lily. xxx
ReplyDeleteDear Sweet Little Lucy,
ReplyDeleteIt was such an honor to meet you in person. It was almost a year ago at the Chik-fil-A in Millington. It brightened up my day when I was able to tell you that I was praying for you and following your story. I will never ever forget that day. My heart just sank when I saw your cancer had returned. I now pray that GOD will wrap HIS loving arms around you the day HE decides to take you home with HIM.
Kate, Erik, Ella and Jack I also pray that GOD wraps his loving arms around all of you through the days and years ahead.
May GOD BLESS all of you!
That was just beautiful. My daughter is in nursing school and hopes to work with sick children. Once I asked how she will handle the sadness (she is so sensitive) and she quickly replied that she will fill her sadness with the children who she can care for and continue the cycle. I will share this with her in hopes to grasp something from it to add to her compassion and journey in her career. Lucy is such an amazing, beautiful girl and I will forever be touched by her, Kate and their family. For ever!
ReplyDeletePraying for no pain and suffering for that sweet little girl of yours and peace for all of her family. Thank you for updating us. I have been checking multiple times a day. Sending you all lots of love and hugs from Redwood City, CA.
ReplyDeleteSusan
Thank you so much for taking the time to share with us. I don't know you, but my heart is broken for you.
ReplyDeleteKate-my daughter and I will never forget you precious Lucy and you're family. You see my daughter is very active, much like Ella, and the first Go Lucy Go race was the first race my daughter ever participated in. Not only does it have meaning because it was her first race, but it also has a last meaning for us as I was able to teach her about helping others around you. We check your blog daily to see the latest news and we have continually prayed for your entire family. We may not have known you personally but we have actually seen your sweet faces in person through the races and they are something we will never forget! Hold your head up high and be proud of fight you have all fought! Kelly in Munford,Tn
ReplyDeleteThis is "MY" very first post. But I have followed from the first day Lucy went to the hospital the very first time. Because I have a "Lucy", her name is Cara, and by God's Grace she is a cancer survivor. Cara survived cervical cancer at the age of 14-15. Found some said by accident, I say by the miracle of God. Cara is 33 yrs. old now but she never goes to the doctor or gets the least bit ill that our fear doesn't return.
ReplyDeleteMiracles come in all sizes and shapes and kinds, but all from our heavenly Father. Lucy is a miracle all of her own like Cara, no matter the outcome. "Pray without ceasing".
Today we are returning from a Florida vacation with Cara and her family. Yes, God even gave Cara a son and 4 step-children, that she treasures deeply. "Miracles from our Savior".
Our family will always remember Lucy, and we will continue to raise money for LeBonhur threw our churches AWANA program (Central Baptist Church, Brighton, Tn.) I ask that all families give to St. Jude on a regular basis as we do.
Our prayers are with you Lucy, and with all of your family. We're praying for "YOUR MIRACLE".
God Bless You All,
The McDaniel Family
Lucy shares her name with my 3 year old and her birthday with me. I will not forget all I have learned from her. Prayers for peace and mercy.
ReplyDeleteKate, to put it simply...you are truly a remarkable woman of God. I have followed your blog for over a year and as a mother of 3 as well, I've tried to imagine the pain your family is going through and honestly, I can't. However, I have been inspired by your amazing strength and faith. I've laughed at some of your stories and cried as well. Please know that your family is enshrouded in prayers and I'm sure will be for a long time. God bless you.
ReplyDeletePraying for your family daily!
ReplyDeleteI do not believe it is God's will for these terrible things to happen. I just cannot accept that God would place this much pain on a baby girl and her family. So many terrible things happen and I believe God hates that but he is there for us when we need help geting through the pain. I have never been in your situation but I have lost a baby to prematurity and one of things I did not like was when people tried to justify my baby's death as being "part of a big plan". It wasn't. It was just a terrible thing that happened to an innocent baby and his family. I believe the same for all sick children. Praying for you and Lucy.
ReplyDeleteKate,
ReplyDeleteI have followed your blog since my sister-in-law from Munford shared a "Pray for Lucy" picture on her Facebook page about a month after this journey began. I have been praying silently for Lucy and your family ever since without commenting. I continue to pray for you all and promise that Lucy is never going to be forgotten. I just wanted to speak up for the multitudes of people who I am sure have also been following your journey in silent prayer that you may not know about. Much love, Amanda
"I just can't seem to put my mind around why a great and powerful God has to use a 5 year old child to change people's lives. I just don't understand why God, being so omnipotent, can't just change people's hearts. " How I wished, Kate, God could do that too! But He chooses to use frail and broken vessels such as me and you to be a witness to the world of His changing power. He gives all of us a free will, He is a gentelman and will not impose His will on anyone, He wants us to choose to love and serve Him out of our heart rather than being forced. I believe God is still able to do a mirace for Lucy. Just remember it is always God's mercy when we enter eternity saved and right with God. He sees the future, He sees if we are going to serve Him or turn away from Him as we get older and He wants all to make Heaven their home. I lost my youngest brother to lukiemia...he was 8 and I was 10. Let me tell you, I am so thankful He is in Heaven and that I will see him very soon one day. It's because of my brothers life, his love for Jesus, and his desire to tell other sick cancer patients on his cancer ward about Jesus that planted seeds of salvation in my heart at 10. He even prayed with dying patients to receive Jesus before they died. At 8 he was such a soul winner, he had something to look forward to and so do we as born again Christians! My parents did not handle my brother's death, they had only been Christians a few years when he died. They ended up turning completely away from God and to this day still have not been healed even 40 yrs later. Only recently have they gotten their hearts right with God and starting to realize how close ALL of us are to SO CLOSE to eternity each day. God understands exactly what you are going through right now, how you feel. Remember He WILLINGLY gave up His son for US so we can live in eternity forever with Him!! It's an amazing love that I don't comprehend but I gladly embrace and accept. The pain we experience on the brief time we are on this earth, though excruciating at times, is just but a moment compared to the glory of heaven for eternity that waits for all of us who endure to the end and hold onto Jesus!! I am praying for you, your husband, kids and family! God is going to help you!!
ReplyDeleteLucy will have a special place in my heart forever. I am praying for all of you.
ReplyDeleteKelley
You, Lucy & your family are so precious to us! With tears I write feeling your pain, wishing cancer had never made our families paths cross but so thankful you were there for Tess & Brandon & Lanie! Thank you! We are praying! We are loving each of you & sending hugs from Missouri! As I type....... I cry ......I pray! Love, Kelly (Tessie's sis)
ReplyDeleteWe prayed for Lucy again today at church and I wondered how many churches heard her name lifted up. I know God is hearing the world wide prayers for her and for your family. A soloist sang "Be Thou My Vision" and I immediately thought of you. Here are some of the words:
ReplyDeleteBe thou my vision, O Lord of my heart,
be all else but naught to me, save that thou art;
be thou my best thought in the day and the night,
both waking and sleeping, thy presence my light.
Be thou my breastplate, my sword for the fight;
be thou my whole armor, be thou my true might;
be thou my soul's shelter, be thou my strong tower:
O raise thou me heavenward, great Power of my power.
High King of heaven, thou heaven's bright sun,
O grant me its joys after victory is won;
great Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
still be thou my vision, O Ruler of all.
Our love and prayers.
I just received an email from a teaching friend I've made through blogging. She shared your daughter's story along and asked for a prayer request. I have never been to your blog before today. I typically read cooking blogs and teaching blogs. However, I want you to know how much I am moved by your story. I cannot even fathom what your family is experiencing, but I will most certainly pray for God to bless your richly. God's plans are so beyond my scope of understanding, but I know, that he loves you, and He most certainly loves your sweet Lucy.
ReplyDeleteA good friend of mine passed at 21 in a sudden car crash. He fell asleep at the wheel coming home one night from a Broadway musical. I remember feeling so confused, and I wondered why God took someone so young, so vibrant, so talented, and so faithful. I grappled with it for a long time. What I realize seven years later is that my friend has left a lasting impression on my life. He taught me a lot about compassion, leadership, and letting your inner light shine. I still think about him often, and it encourages me to keep working hard to educate my students every single day, because you never know how much time you have, and you never know what kind of an impression you are leaving on others. I have no doubt that your Lucy has touched so many lives, and that she will shape them as long as they are alive, consciously or subconsciously. I wish you the very best of luck, and I will most certainly add your sweet daughter and family to my prayer list.
Kate, I was looking through some of your old posts and I saw this post. http://krull4.blogspot.com/2009/03/emotions.html
ReplyDeleteAnd would like to let you know just like the ladies you mentioned, you to have ministered to many. I know you had no idea what was in store for your family when you wrote that post, but I would like to let you know that you have really inspired me and I am praying for your family. I have no idea how you have been able to do it the last 18 months, I am praying for peace for sweet Lulu and all of your family as you go through this trying time.
Kate,
ReplyDeleteAt church this morning I went up front and prayed with a prayer team member for your family and Lucy and your specific prayer needs. Please know that Park West Church of God has been surrounding you with prayer since Lucy's diagnosis and will continue to.
Praying without ceasing,
Jen
Kate,
ReplyDeleteLucy will never be forgotten-- the impact she has had on the world rests not simply in human minds and fallible memories but in eternity. People have grown closer to the Lord and found Christ through Lucy. I am sure you will meet souls in heaven who are there because of your brave girl.
Aside from that, though, I am SURE that I and the thousands of others who have followed Lucy's journey will never forget her for the rest of our journey on earth.
Praying now for everything you have listed and will continue to pray.
Kate,
ReplyDeleteI will remember Lucy. She has made a mark in my heart.
To all the readers out there- we can show Kate that we will remember through prayer, but also through action. Make a contribution to Le Bonheur Children's Hospital or St. Jude's in Lucy name. We can show in a tangible way that Lucy touched us and will continue to do so. Whether it is $5.00, $10.00, $50.00 or what ever you can afford, we can help all the other Lucys. We can let our healthy children forgo a meal out or a movie or some activity and give that money to one of the hospitals or a children's hospital in our own community. Our actions can make sure Lucy is always remembered and that other families in the struggle have the support and resources they need. Donate today, and next year, and whenever you remember Lucy.
I don't remember when or how I found your blog, but I do remember falling instantly in love with sweet Lucy! Our family will remember Lucy and her entire family and keep you all in our prayers.
ReplyDeleteLove from Ohio
Heather
Laura's Song is the CD, Blessings is the song, it is on Utube, it is meant for you, we have no answers but Christs love for us will have to be enough
ReplyDeleteKate, as I read each of your posts, I just wish there is something I could do for your family. I know that there is nothing that anyone can do to make this journey any better for you, Erik, Ella, Jack, or Lucy. But know that Lucy will not be forgotten. She lives in the hearts of those that have grown to love her through this blog. Thank you for sharing her with us. For giving us the opportunity to feel like we know this amazing little girl who is such an inspiration.
ReplyDeleteHow could we ever forget Lucy? I know her life has caused me to be more patient and hold my sweet Mia a little closer. Prayers for you and your family. Lynette
ReplyDeletewell said!
ReplyDeleteMy Mom often asks me the same question you asked yesterday - does (will) anyone remember? Was his (her) life significant to anyone but us? Even 7+ years after my brother's passing, the answer is a resounding "yes!!" I only know of Lucy through her little friend, Kellan, here in East TN, but I can tell Lucy's life is one of great significance. We continue to pray for you all every day. God showers us with blessings even in the midst of our absolute suffering.
ReplyDeleteHe gives strength to those who are tired and more power to those who are weak. Evev children beco me tired and need rest, and young people trip and fall. But the people who trust the Lord will become strong again. They will rise as an eagle in the sky; they will run and not need rest; they will walk and not become tired. This is the Max Lucado's version of a very familiar scripture, but for some reason, the new verison has brought new life to it for me. Maybe it might speak to you. This is my prayer for Lucy and her family. May the Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord make his face to shine upon you. May the Lord lift up His countenance upon you and give you peace now and forevermore!!!!!! Amen and Amen
ReplyDeleteContinuing to pray for Lucy and your family. May she rest peacefully with no pain.
ReplyDeletePraying for your comfort, strength and understanding, and a peaceful passing for for your sweet daughter into the arms of her creator. My 7yo son is fighting medullo currently, having also had several surgeries at LaBonheur. We've added Eli's prayer warriors to your team via his site on facebook at Praying for Eli Williams.
ReplyDeleteDear Kate,
ReplyDeleteI've been following Lucy's story for a while and was devastated to come from a long trip and read about the sudden return of her cancer. Nothing I can say is adequate and I can't truly imagine what you are going through- nor do I want to try. It's terrifying. But I went back in your blog to the times before Lucy got sick, and I wanted to assure you that she had such a beautiful, blessed, loved life, and that's the best gift any parent can give to a child.
I pray for everything you asked for and more. May all of you have peace and strength. And may all of you find joy again some day.
I have followed your story for a while now. I am so sorry to hear of the recent developments. I will always remember Lucy. She is such a beautiful little girl who truely has the light of Christ in her eyes. I will think of her as I take care of my kids. Like others have said I will hug tigher and try to be more patient. Your family love each other so much and that is so special too. I will be praying for peace for you and your family. There was a little boy in my parents church who died of cancer last week. His mother read a beautiful story about that I think may bring you some comfort. Here is the link. http://www.echansen.blogspot.com/2012/06/brave-little-soul.html
ReplyDeleteI pray that you will have peace in the days ahead.
Love,
Melinda