Life can change. In the blink of an eye. It happens. You are never prepared for it. And when it does you just try to survive. And that's what we are doing right now. Surviing. I am going to use this blog to update Lucy's status and track her recovery so that one day she can look back at what she went through and know how much her mommy loves her. Tomorrow morning at 7:00am the staff at LeBonheur Children's Hospital will come get my baby girl for the biggest event of her life. 4-6 hours of a grueling surgical procedure to remove 3 brain tumors and 1 tumor from her back.
Every time I allow myself to think about it I want to vomit. It doesn't seem real. Last night when I went to sleep I prayed that when I woke up this would all be a bad dream. Funny thing is, I never slept. So I feel as if I have been in a walking nightmare for 2 days. Tomorrow is going to be hard for us all. I don't think any of us are really prepared for the rollercoaster we are about to ride.
I just don't understand why it had to be Lucy. I could understand why God would want to put this disease on me. I have had 33 years to live a sinful life. I DESERVE to suffer. But not Lucy. She's only 5. But that's not how God works. I know that. There's a reason for all of this. I will NEVER understand it, but that's not my job. My job is to remain faithful and trust that God will heal my sweet girl. Medulloblastoma is no match for my Father. I will praise Him in this storm while I cling to the hope that He will extend his hand of mercy and grace to Lucy in the days, weeks and months to come.