11 THINGS I WISH MY CHILD’S DOCTOR KNEW.......
1. Please don't ask me to leave my child's side. I can't rest or eat knowing that something could happen while outside the safety of my arms. I need to be there.
2. I need to be part of my child’s care team. I am there everyday. I am used to being in charge. At home, no nurses or doctors are telling me what to do. Help me be a part of the team.
3. I am not stupid. I may not understand all the words that you use, but I am willing to learn. Teach me. Help me understand what you are talking about. What could be more important for me know?
4. I am not overprotective. I am a parent. I see my child struggling to survive. I was given this child to protect and love. If I am doing something excessive, then kindly, gently tell me that it is not necessary. But do not tell me I am overprotective. Those words are fighting words.
5. I don't know if you believe in God or not, but I hope that you do. While my child is under the care of your hands, I am in the waiting room asking for God to guide your hands and your mind so that you can save my child’s life. I pray for you.
6. Caring for a child with a chronic illness isn't what I bargained for when I was planning a family. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. I am not just my child’s parent. I have many roles and wear many hats. Please understand this problem has touched every facet of my life and is challenging me in ways that you cannot possibly understand or see.
7. I am grieving. This is not what I planned. My home is waiting for my child. Clothes hang in the closet; toys and books are waiting to serve their purpose. Please be kind while I try grasp what all of this means and while I mourn the life my child should have had.
8. I trust you. I have handed over the most helpless and important person in my life. I know that you are not God, but I am hoping that through you, God will work a miracle.
9. I have hope. I don't care about statistics. There aren't two children here at the same time, having the same surgery. There is one, and that is my child. Don't tell me that you don't think that my child won't make it. Tell me, that you'll do everything in you power to help my child survive.
10. I know you don't have a crystal ball. When I ask you for my child’s prognosis, I am asking you for reassurance. Every parent wants to be a grandparent one day. Don't get irritated when I ask you about the future. Tell me I'm doing a good job today.
11. If it is God's will to take my child too soon, don't be afraid to let me see you cry. Your tears will help to cleanse my wounded heart. I need to know that you cared.
----UNKOWN AUTHOR...
Nothing to add. This person summed up everything I am, everything I feel and everything I hope for.
Wow, perfectly said...I can't imagine. You and your family are in my prayers always. GO LUCY GO!
ReplyDeleteI don't have a child who has cancer, but I do have a child who is developmentally delayed/disabled. Thank you so much for posting this. On monday we went to the dentist and they had given my son to much versed, well he was way out of it and has having trouble protecting his airway. He was also congested, so the dental assistant was kind of lecturing me on how to protect his airway and told me that I REALLY needed to get the congestion out of his lungs. I just smiled nicely and nodded my head as to say "Ok, sure." But what I really wanted to say was "Ma'am I have been his mom for 6 years and I have been doing this awhile. I know how to protect an airway, I know what to do to get his congestion out and you have NO idea what I have been through with this kid. So just be QUIET please." But God in his amazing way just let me stay QUIET.
ReplyDeleteI have been praying for Lucy since I came upon your blog. Your family is doing AMAZING and God is giving you the grace to minister not just to other cancer families but to any family who has a child with a medical condition.
You and your family are in my prayers every day.
ReplyDeleteI don't know you personally, but from reading your blog, I am amazed at your incredible strength.
God bless Lucy, you, and your family.
I wish I would have read this 8 years ago while we were trying to find our daughter's diagnosis and her surgeries. We aren't dealing with cancer, but a only-one-in-the-world-so-far type of chromosome defect. We've definitely had our share of insensitive, know-it-all, beat around the bush, wack-o's!! I have been following Lucy's story since her diagnosis (from another blog) and I pray for her every single day. She is such a sweet little girl and you are an awesome mama.
ReplyDeleteMelanie B in SD
I have a especially heavy heart tonight for you and Lucy! God is in control even though we do not see. I pray for His continued blessings for you and your family!
ReplyDeleteYour faith and witness through this trial continues to be a blessing to me and others who read this blog! Prayers continuing!
Katherine M. Covington, tn
Thank you for posting this. I am a nurse to children and adolescents at a mental health facility. I remember daily not only am i providing care to these kids, but also to their parents. Support is so important! I check your blog every night after work and have been reading for months. I am encouraged and moved by your faith and break for you as a mother. God is using your family in such a mighty way by your testimony. Remember He walks before you, beside you, and behind you. As a sister in Christ, I pray you feel that daily. Go Lucy go! Jesus is carrying you through, just hold on. God bless you and your beautiful family.
ReplyDeleteVery well said!! Pray Lucy gets better and stonger every day!
ReplyDeleteWow!Powerful words!
ReplyDeleteGod bless you and your family!
Kate - I don't know if it's that I'm expecting our second little one, but I seriously cry every time I read your blog! I've never met you and yet your strength and love for your family make me a better mother and wife. Thank you for your honesty, brutal as it is, it is truth and should make all that read it fall to their knees in prayer.
ReplyDeleteKate, I truly believe that sometimes we believe that there isn't anybody who could possibly know what or how we are feeling, then all the sudden someone sends you something like this that you believe that you must have written it yourself or told somene word for word what to write.. I think this should be in every hospital room. I believe most doctors have your feeling at heart but it doesn't hurt for them to be reminded that you also have healing hands and your baby needs them as well.
ReplyDeleteI love this, I am printing this and bringing it to the hospital when I head to work tomorrow evening. We (the nurses/doctors) need to remember this.
ReplyDelete