4.23.2011

Awake

Yeah, I'm supposed to be asleep right now.  But I can't.  So I'm awake reading the comments that people have left on my blog.  Reading the blogs associated with the comments.  Realizing that although I may feel as if I am the only one living through hell on earth, I'm not.  As a matter of fact, I am humbled to realize that my situation is actually not as bad as others.  Don't get me wrong, no situation is worse than the one you are living.  However, there are a lot of sick children in this world and a lot of hurting parents.

As I sit consumed by my own sorrows, I have been taken to my knees this weekend to think about the blood of Christ.  How on Good Friday our God allowed his son...his only child...to be sacrificed for my sins.  I can honestly say that Gods' sacrifice means more this Easter than it ever has before.  I would never, ever begin to compare my hurt with God's, but I do know what it is like to lay your child at the altar.  The difference is that Jesus never had an option for salvation from his death.  He was born to die.   It's the only reason he was put on this earth.  Our God allowed his son to suffer and for a moment, carry the weight of the world's sin so that we all would have eternal life. 

Everyday I pray and pray that God would spare Lucy's life.  I pray that God would heal her.  Jesus never had that option.  What he did for us that day at Calvary can never be duplicated.  That one act of selflessness was the greatest deed in the history of this world.  For that I am eternally grateful. Really, really grateful. 

I look forward to tomorrow as we celebrate the miraculous act of Jesus rising from the dead.  I think of the story of Jairus' daughter.  He assures the people of the community that her death has not been in vain.  While Lucy is not "dead" I pray that her illness with not be in vain.  If God is going to allow her to be sick, I pray that somehow, someway God will be glorified through it all.  I am praying for a miracle the same way Jarius did.  I want God to just touch Lucy and make her well.  Still praying for the miracle of Biblical proportions.  Thank you dear God for dying on the cross for my sins.  Thank you for preparing a way for me in this rocky life and even in the afterlife.  I have faith because HE LIVES.
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Today the girls decided they wanted to roast marshmallows.  So...what did we do?  We roasted marshmallows of course.  87 degrees.  Hot as heck.  We roasted marshmallows because the girls wanted to.  Not because it made sense and not because we particularly wanted to.  BUT because Ella and Lucy wanted to.  And that's the way we roll these days.......



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11 comments:

  1. Happy Easter to the Krull Family!!!!

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  2. I know that your mama's heart is hurting. We feel the things we do because God created us with these hearts that feel so much. He knows. He cares. Praying you have a blessed Easter.

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  3. Kate: We have never met, I follow your blog and I pray for your family. I love the music on this site. You are encouraging so many with your story of trials and tribulations. I am sorry this is the way that you are having to do it, but it is the path that has been put before you. I appreciate your honesty and your transparency. I am not a great writer, so it is hard to truly convey my heart for you and your family, but I appreciate your honesty. The road of remaining faithful is rough, when your heart is breaking so....but clearly you are grounded with steady feet and you are fully armored with a helmet of salvation, a breastplate of righteousness, a belt of truth, armed with the sword of the word and the shield of prayer...God always prevails!!!

    Happy Easter...Christ is risen on the glorious day and Lucy Krull is still here to celebrate it with you all. Alleluia! Alleluia!

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  4. i pray the Krull family has a blessed Easter! I continue to pray for Lucy and I have full faith that God will heal your little girl. He has already used this tribulation as a witness to so many people. I thank God for your honesty and your faith. It has helped me to strengthen mine. A blessed Easter season to all of you.

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  5. Your post made me think of this song:

    Because He Lives

    God sent His son, they called Him Jesus
    He came to love, heal, and forgive.
    He lived and died to buy my pardon,
    An empty grave is there to prove my Savior lives.

    Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.
    Because He lives, All fear is gone.
    Because I know He holds the future,
    And life is worth the living just because He lives.

    How sweet to hold a newborn baby,
    And feel the pride and joy he gives.
    But greater still the calm assurance,
    This child can face uncertain days because He lives.

    Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.
    Because He lives, All fear is gone.
    Because I know He holds the future,
    And life is worth the living just because He lives.

    And then one day I'll cross the river,
    I'll fight life's final war with pain.
    And then as death gives way to victory,
    I'll see the lights of glory and I'll know He lives.

    Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.
    Because He lives, All fear is gone!
    Because I know He holds the future
    And life is worth the living just because He lives!

    In light of this day, when we celebrate the rising of our Lord, the most incredible miracle of all time, I have no doubt in my heart that He will bring the miracle of healing to your precious daughter.

    He is Risen!

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  6. You know...when girls want to roast marshmallows, who are you to argue! hahaha! Love it!

    I hope you're having a happy Easter despite the ugliness life has thrown at you. God is good.

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  7. Happy Easter girl. You are right that you aren't the only parents going through this trial but it is hard and it is ok to feel sad about it occasionally. Keep getting that beautiful girl healthy.

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  8. We continue to pray for your family and for sweet Lucy. May God bless you with more marshmallow roasts on hot days. : )

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  9. My name is Jessica and I am a 30 year old woman who lives in Jacksonville, FL. You don't know me but I follow your blog daily and I must say you are quite empowering. I just want to say thank you for sharing your story w/us all. When I was 13 yrs old I lost my mother from cancer so I feel your pain. Just as you love your daughter Lucy and she is your everything-- my mother was my everything as well. My life has forever been changed because of her loss and I just pray that Lucy stays strong so you will never have to feel that pain from loss as I did. My prayers are with you and your family during this trying time... Go Lucy Go!

    Jessica

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  10. Hello! You don't know me, but I've been following your blog for a while now. I had brain surgery to remove a benign brain tumor two weeks and five days ago. Reading about Lucy in the days before my own surgery gave me so much strength. What I have endured is so small, compared to the struggles of your precious little girl. She is so strong. And so are you.

    Three years ago, I sat in the hospital for 25 days beside my newborn son. He was almost a month old before we made it home for the first time. Now he is a healthy, crazy three year old and our time in the hospital is a distant memory. I pray that you will also get to a time when your days beside the hospital bed are just a memory. That this will be a time you look back on and can't believe you lived through it. You and Lucy and the rest of your family will be so changed by this experience. But brighter days are ahead. You have so many pulling for you and praying for you. If you need something, all you have to do is ask. Take care of yourself.
    Your Friend,
    Brandy Wade
    www.ourethiopiandaughter.weebly.com

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  11. Kate, we haven't met, but I've been following... In church for our Easter service, the pastor said something that made me think of you and your family. He was talking about how God has a plan, and everything happens according to His will, which we've all heard before. But then he reminded us that God hates suffering just as much as we do. God hates Lucy's cancer as much as you do! Yes, he is allowing it to happen according to his Divine purpose, but that doesn't mean His heart isn't breaking just like yours... It made me stop and realize what an amazing loving Father he is. When you suffer, He suffers, and I hope that through His peace you also find peace.

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