4.06.2011

The Sound of Normal


Girls sitting in the brown chair, watching Blues Clues.  Singing along.."We just got a letter..."  I close my eyes and just listen to those two innocent, sweet voices singing loud and out of tune.  The most beautiful sound I could imagine.  I'm fighting back tears right now.  Even in the midst of our normalcy there is a stark reality that Lucy is still very sick.  You wouldn't know by looking at her right now.  But its always there.  That nagging truth that life will never be the same for her or us.  But right now I choose to enjoy the happy times we are having.  Even at St. Jude I find myself saying "thank you" all day long.

Just as broken as I felt when Lucy was so sick after her surgery and this past month,  I feel as equally fulfilled and content at the moment.  I have been giving a Grace that only God could give.  My spirit is full.  I feel as if my eyes have been opened and my heart, too.  Open to seeing life in a new way.  Open to enjoying the simple pleasures life has to offer.  The sunshine, a rainy day, the sound of thunder, the sound of Jack breathing.  Just little things you may never stop to say thank you for.  As I've said, I'll never be the same again. 

This old hymn keeps coming to mind.  Grace, grace, God's grace, grace that will pardon and cleanse within; grace, grace, God's grace, grace that is greater than all our sin. 

I'm not really sure why, but when I think about grace I think of this song.  I also love the Todd Agnew song Grace Like Rain.  http://youtu.be/zcGJb-mPMmg

I was talking with a young mother today who's daugther will finish up radiation this Friday.  They are throwing a huge party for her and it will be well deserved.  She has been blessed to be housed by Habitat for Hope.  She made a comment that really stuck with me.  She told me that if she had to do a billboard for Habitat she would only be able to say "God's grace made human."  It is so true and I can totally relate.  And boy did I appreciate talking with a fellow believer who is able to lift her head above her despair and realize that through all of this there are blessings to be counted.  It was quite encouraging.  She said "who am I, who is my family, to deserve such blessings.  We are just a regular family going through a tough time."  It's how I feel about the outpouring of love and support we have been shown as a family.  I mean, seriously.  Why us?  Why do we deserve it? 

And the answer is that none of us deserve it.  We have done nothing, nor will we ever do anything, worthy of God's grace.  That's why its called grace.  Defined, grace is "unmerited Divine assistance given to humans;" or "special favor from God."  My favorite is "a temporary exemption."  Think about it.  On a daily basis our sin should demand nothing less than hell.  But yet God chooses to allow grace to provide such pardon that we can enjoy this earthly life and eventually have eternal life.  I feel rather unworthy and very humbled when I stop to think about it.

So as I stop and enjoy the good days we have with Lucy, Ella and Jack I am constantly reminded that they are only a gift, courtesy of God's grace.  Like yesterday, for example, as we paraded through the neighborhood soaking up the sun and breathing in the fresh air. I was reminded that in the good times and in the bad times, God is there.  He is holding my hand.  Walking for me when I can't walk and allowing me to run when I can. 






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17 comments:

  1. Well done, good and faithful servant...always glorifying God even during the storm. "And whatsoever you shall ask in My name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you shall ask any thing in My Name, I will do it. If you love Me, keep My commandments. And I will pray the Father, and He shall give you another Comforter, that He may abide with you for ever; even the Spirit of Truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it sees Him not, neither knows Him: but you know Him; for He dwells with you, and shall be in you. I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you. He that has My commandments, and keeps them, he it is that loves Me: and he that loves Me shall be loved of My Father, and I will love him, and will manifest Myself to him." John 14:13-18,21

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  2. I have been quietly following your blog and felt compelled tonight to comment on this beautiful post. Lucy, you, and your family have been in my daily prayers. My heart aches for you all. Upon reading this I was reminded of a beautiful essary written by our Bishop for our Catholic Diocese when he was diagnosed with cancer. I will share the link with you and when you find some quiet time to yourself (I'm sure that is few and far between these days)perhaps this essay will speak to your heart and soul as it did mine. God Bless you all, today and always.

    http://www.dioceseoffresno.org/letters/index.html
    (once you get to the link click on the right hand side under essays: The Affliction of Cancer: An essay on a Christian Perspective.

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  3. God placed that young mother in your path today. He knew what your heart needed and she delivered it for Him. :) Isn't He amazing?

    I am happy that you enjoyed your family-time tonight. I love the pictures. Hang on to your hope and cling to your faith. Snuggle up in God's lap and let Him wrap His arms around you... you're His daughter, too.

    Take care of YOU and keep on truckin'... you're doing a fabulous job! You can count on me to continue to pray for your sweet Lucy-girl and your family, as well as all others involved in her journey.

    Thank you for the reminder of God's grace. I will be thanking Him for that very grace that is greater than all sin... that song is in my head now, too.. :) Love to you and yours.

    Selena
    Columbia, MO

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  4. I am praying for your family. I am 52 yrs old and had a very sick little baby which opened my eyes to gratitude. Gratitude for the 'normal, boring, mundane' days at home. That was 21 yrs ago this month and that attitude change has remained with me. I am blessed to have experienced that change in my life because my life is so much sweeter because of it. I hope and pray that I never go back to taking simple daily pleasures for granted. I hear that gratitude in your blog and your life. It is a good thing. I will continue to pray for your family.

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  5. Every tear I cry you hold in your hand.... just listened to this line as I am reading your thougths. So grace filled... How do people get along without God in their life. Praise Faith, praise Lucy!

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  6. Inspirational! Thank you for the encouragement that you so often give others despite the fact that you are going through such a desperate trial. Lucy is as lucky to have you as her mother as you feel you are lucky to have her as your daughter. Praying sweet friend without ceasing for your precious treasure.

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  7. Your message came over me today I felt god's presence when I read you post and feel better just knowing that things are getting better for you and your family! I will continue to pray for Lucy! God Bless! The pictures are great!

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  8. Still praying for your family. Here is a link to another family that is going through something similar to yours. Maybe it will give you some encouragement or someone to contact.

    http://www.carepages.com/carepages/Fablious/patient

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  9. Praise God you are feeling full and content! What wonderful profound thoughts you are having. This is an answer to prayer! Praise His Name!
    I am glad you had a good day and I hope and pray there will be many, many more good days for you.

    Continuing to hold you all up to God and covering Lucy always with prayer.

    Blessings,
    <><

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  10. Beautiful post and pictures!!! We serve an AMAZING God!

    And you are an amazing woman! Praying for your family.

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  11. Sometimes those moments of normal can help heal us, sometimes the moments of normal are bigger blessing than we can ever imagine! Praying for all of you!

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  12. Precious "normalcy"! It's amazing how changes in circumstances will give someone brand new eyes to see more clearly. Glad to hear Lucy is able to rest at home with her family.

    I know we don't know each other... I can just empathize with your journey. Wanted to give you a shout out to let you know you aren't alone. Hang in there. I'm sure the Lord will show Himself mighty to you and your family during this trial... in the good days and the bad ones. He's good like that!
    -Patty

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  13. Kate - Maybe you've already read it (not that I imagine you have any reading time right now...) but if not you need to read, Phillip Yancey's, "What's So Amazing About Grace". The other is, "The Jesus I Never Knew". God graces us each day in the mundane moments and in the big moments, and following your story helps me to see God's grace every day in our family, when otherwise I would be too busy to take notice. I am thankful today for those moments in our lives, and in yours. I will continue to pray for Lucy until I hear she is healed!
    Karin Bilderback

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  14. so happy your days are in a sense better and that lucy got to go out and be with her family. praying for you all daily. you're an inspiration to me and you're whole blog is a testimony that i love to read daily. you're always praising the Lord and i know that's why you feel grace all around you. God bless you and your beautiful family. One day at a time :) Praying for you every single day.

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  15. Kate, not sure if you have heard it or not but there is a song I just heard on K-love the other day called Blessings.

    http://www.klove.com/music/artists/laura-story/songs/blessings-lyrics.aspx

    Your post makes me think of that song. You are such an amazing example to us all. Thank you.

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