4.10.2011

The Tooth is Repaired and Other Things

(the sunset at my parents house last night)

So, a big thank you to all of you for offering dentists, advice and prayer.  Thankfully a great friend and dentist in town met me first thing this morning.  We both still had our pajamas on and neither of us cared.  I was in and out of there in less than 10 minutes.  It gave me a great excuse to get out of the house for a Sonic run.  Thanks Dr. Ganier!

Before I update on Saturday, I need to give a quick update on Lucy's last two days of treatment.  Thursday was a fun day for her.  Fun in that Mrs. Amanda joined us for the day.  What a treat for both of us.  Since my mom is filling in for Erik's parents while they have been gone and in an effort to give her a break a few days a week, I have been filling in my days with different friends who have been able to take off work or who are stay at home moms.  It's a lot to ask, but each one has been more than willing to do it.  This is Amanda and Lucy while I was in my meeting with the psychologist.  Apparently Mrs. Amanda missed the memo that we have way too many stuffed animals and took Lucy to the gift shop.



Lucy also had a battery of fine/gross motor skill testing done and scored way above average of them all.  I knew she was smart, but it's so cool to actually prove it!


Friday was a totally different story.  I have no idea how it happened (ok, I do know how...it was totally a God thing), but Lucy had radiation at 8:00 am  and nothing else for the whole day.  We had to be there at 7:15am for sedation so I was up early.  The minute I woke up I knew something was wrong.  I felt so sick, but not in the stomach virus type of sick.  I was very nauseated, but it seemed to be coming somewhere deep within.  I know it sounds crazy, but I could hear something whispering "you are just worn out.  You are tired."  And that is what is was.  It would have been the perfect day for Erik to take Lucy on his own, but Friday was donuts for dad at Ella's school and she would have been devastated if he missed it.  So, thankfully my friend Amber was riding with me and she drove Lucy and I home and we both slept in the back seat.  I arranged for Erik and my mom and Amber to help with the kids and I went to sleep.  FOR A LONG TIME.  I think I slept close to 24 hours.  I did have to wake up to help change Lucy's line dressing and prepare her TPN, but other than that I shut myself away and slept.  And boy was it wonderful!

I am so grateful for the short day Lucy had scheduled.  God knew that I needed the rest.  Adrenaline had finally stopped running my body and I couldn't go any more.  Isn't it amazing how our bodies respond in times of crisis.  I think I literally went on about 4 hours of sleep a night for more than a month.  Who does that?  It's not even in the realm of normal.  I'm so grateful to have a reprieve from that period in our life.

I wanted to show all the pictures and stories from our fishing adventure from Saturday but in an effort to NOT get run down again, I am going to shut my computer off and go to bed.  Jack is still not sleeping through the night, so extended sleep for mommy is still limited.  I can't wait to share all the fun things from Saturday.  I will post tomorrow while Lucy is in radiation. 

I have two big prayer requests for the night for those of you who are willing to pray.  First, Lucy is really struggling with vomitting.  It seems as if every time she actually tries to eat, it all comes up within the hour.  She is a trooper and just keeps on going after she does, but at times it seems as if her toe nails are going to come up.  Secondly, Ella is having quite a hard time emotionally.  Tonight I sat with her in bed and she poured her little heart out to me.  It took her so long to reach her breaking point but today was it I guess.  We cried together, laughed together, but mainly I just let her talk.  I hate what this is doing to her little mind and heart.  She just misses me and our old life.  She told me she was scared every day that after school I would not be coming home.  It breaks my heart to even write those words.  She said I got home too late in the afternoons and that she missed me taking her to school.  She summed it up by saying that "Lucy had just been sick for too long."

Once again, I rack my brain trying to make sense out of this whole stupid deal.  It's awful.  Even before Ella confided in me today, I spent a lot of time in tears myself.  A LOT.  Some days are good and some days are just bad.  Even though we had a great weekend and I enjoyed our bit of normalcy, there is still a nagging reminder that its really not normal.  Nothing about it is.  We have a child with cancer.  There's nothing normal about that.  I never, ever want to get to the point where cancer is normal.  I know people who are there and I plead and beg that God does not allow that to happen to us.  I'm still waiting to wake up from the horrible nightmare.  I'm still waiting.

Oh, Lord Jesus, I pray that you will heal Lucy of her cancer.  Please protect her brain from the nasty side effects of radiation.  Send her body into complete and total remission, never allowing the cancer to return.  I pray for a miraculous healing of epic proporations.  In your word you tell us that if we knock the door will be open, if we ask we shall receive, if two or more are agreed upon anything....Lord God hear our prayers.  Hear our pleadings.  Erik and I are just two parents who love our children and want nothing more than to have our family back together again.  Please God, don't make this our life.  Let Lucy be one of the success stories.  We've got way too much love to give our kids and we need a lifetime to show them. 

My heart hurts right now.  I am going to bed.
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24 comments:

  1. This post really broke my heart. I pray that your sweet daughter and your family are HEALED!

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  2. Keeping your family in our prayers. We have met one of our neighbors, a cute and sweet black and white lhasa apso named Lucy. Tonight, as we passed by her yard, my 5 year old Hannah reminded me that we need to keep praying for your Lucy. I just about started crying.

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  3. I am praying along with you Kate. Lord, please hear our prayers. Amen.

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  4. Kate - Your prayer requests keep me on my toes. Keep sharing and we will keep on praying!

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  5. It might be a good idea to look into Supersibs.org for Ella. They are a wonderful organization that can help love on her during this scary and confusing time in her life. I know you are doing a fantastic job but a child can not have too many people loving on them and walking with them through their trials.

    http://www.lighthousefamilyretreat.org/

    This is an amazing organization as well that will allow your whole family to get away and have some healing time away from it all.

    Praying for you.

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  6. You don't know me, but I somehow stumbled upon your blog about 2 weeks ago. I'm a local college student, but I wanted you to know that every Thursday evening and Saturday morning/afternoon as I pass through downtown Memphis on my way to and from work, I see signs for St. Jude and pray for your little Lucy. For a reason only God knows, He brought me to your blog; He also prompts me to pray for your family often. I'm praying for Lucy to not just have a break from the vomiting, but to stop it completely. Don't feel like you have to respond to this; you need to stay rested. Please do be encouraged.

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  7. By reading your blog and seeing your strong faith in God, I know you know this already, but I felt like I should pass it on. I read this in my devotion this morning and thought of sweet Lucy. Love and Hugs to you!
    Heather

    Author: Elisabeth Elliot
    Source: A Lamp For My Feet
    Scripture Reference: Romans 12:2

    Interrupted Plans

    We like things to go smoothly and as planned. Very often unexpected things intervene, and our plans go awry. We think we've got "problems." There is another level at which everything that happens is being engineered. "God has no problems," Corrie ten Boom said, "only plans." When ours are interrupted, his are not. His plans are proceeding exactly as scheduled, moving us always (including those minutes or hours or years which seem most useless or wasted or unendurable) "toward the goal of true maturity" (Rom 12:2 JBP). Believe God. Turn the interruptions over to Him. He is at the controls.

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  8. Kate - We are most certainly continuing to pray. The boys ask for Lucy to "get better" every night in their own night-night prayers. We continue to pray for her total healing!! We will also continue to pray for you & Erik in your "balancing act", for Jack and for Ella. ... love, cherri & fam

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  9. Kate, I am praying that prayer with you for you and your family. My heart breaks and is filled each time I read one of your posts. Praying for your sweet little Lucy and all of you.
    Love,
    Jenny

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  10. Our church is doing a production for Easter in which one of three stories follows a mother and her very sick little girl. Last night was the first night the choir actually got to do our part with the drama team and man, I thought of you all the whole time. I couldn't keep the tears from coming and I just prayed that God would end your story like our's ends, with a healthy, pain- and illness- free little girl and a Mama who can use her story to point many to Jesus. I pray that you will rest in the knowledge today that God works ALL things together for good. Praying your prayer with you this morning and especially for little Ella.

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  11. Kate, you do not know us but my family and I have been, are and will continue to pray for Lucy, for her healing, for you, Erik, Ella & Jack. I thank you for being so faithful in updating your blog and ways we can minister to you through prayer! Please know that we come beside you, as The Body, and pray every day in all the specific ways that you ask. My husband, myself and our two boys, 10 & 6 years old, have our Lucy bracelets and wear them every day and pray for her all through out our day. We believe God hears His children and we believe that He will bring complete divine healing and restoration to Lucy and to your family! In His Love~

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  12. For the vomiting, have you tried ginger or ginger gum? Seaband makes one that they sell at drugstores, like CVS.

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  13. I hear you and we continue to pray! My daughter, Caitlin, said to let you know that her fourth grade class, Mrs. Daniel's class, prays for Lucy everyday. Both my girls want to see pictures and hear how Lucy is doing on a regular basis. I'm glad you are leaning on family and friends. You have to recharge to keep your strength up.

    Carmen Pfeifer

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  14. I am glad you were able to have some good family time fishing. I am sorry to hear Lucy is having such problems with nausea. When my dad had his radiation they gave him nausea medicine to take before each treatment. Have you asked the Dr about nausea medicine? It was amazing as soon as a bad side effect started up they had a medicine to help with it. I hope they can do the same with Lucy. She sure is a beautiful little girl. Still praying in Tx,

    Melinda

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  15. Ella will be fine. I can say this from my own experience. When my little sister was 11 she was diagnosed with NF2 and had a brain tumor. It took surgery, meningitis, and months of physical therapy and trips from our house in Franklin to Chattanooga each week. I missed my mom and my sister during that time. I missed our "old life", but eventually it returned and it was even better. Now I am a mother of 3 and my little sister is healthy and beautiful and recently got married. Just continue to talk to Ella and carve out special moments just for her. You are doing a great job with all your babies. And I will continue to pray that this nightmare ends soon for your whole family.
    -Laura Lee Zinn

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  16. Oh Kate! I so wish I could make your pain go away. I cannot imagine what you go through on a daily basis. You have brought so many things to life for me. Things that I have always known but I guess in the craziness of life, I sometimes forget to be THANKFUL for. We continue to pray for you guys daily. We pray BELIEVING that Lucy will be healed and will one day have an AWESOME testimony to share. Lots of LOVE from the Richardson's!

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  17. I want you to know that I am praying for your whole family, especially Lucy, but I can only imagine how hard this is for all of you! Thanks for sharing specific ways we can pray for you!

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  18. Kate, my name is Crystal Groothuis, and I live in Rowlett, TX. I heard about Lucy through a friend at church and have been following your story since week 2. I have 4 kids, one of which is a 4 yr old girl. Her and I have decided to make Lucy our main source of prayers. She talks about Lucy like she knows her and she prayers for her to be healed each night. Her name is Gracie. Lucy reminds me of Gracie so much(started when you said she rubs the satin part of the blanket). I am taken back by your heart and your faith in God through all of this. I think you have a beautiful and loving family and you are so blessed with good friends and family. I wish we were closer, so we could come see you in person. I am on the committee for Relay for Life in our town and please know that I am walking for Lucy this year. She will be on my shirt and I feel blessed to have stumbled onto this blog. You are very inspirational! Prayers for you and Lucy right now. Love - Crystal

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  19. I believe in the power of prayer, and I believe Lucy is lucky to have such a great mommy. Please know that tonight there is someone else out there with Lucy and your family in their heart offering up more prayers to our Lord.

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  20. Kate - I do believe in miracles and I do believe you will get one. My pastor talks about miracles all the time when we talk about Lucy. I'm glad you got the time to give yourself time to rest. My mom raised 6 kids and she always says "you deal with what you've got." I think that applies to you and Erik too. Kind of rambling here... all this to say, thinking of you and praying for you.

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  21. I have never met you Kate, and yet I pray for your sweet family daily. I don't even remember how I stumbled upon your blog, the Lord laying it out for me I know, but please know that the Tanner family in Houston lift you and your entire family up each day. It is our prayer that God heal little Lucy of this horrible cancer and that he help to hold you and Erik and keep you both strong. Praying extra prayers for sweet Ella tonight as well. I can't imagine at all what you must be going through, but you are an AMAZING woman of faith from what I can see and hands down one of the best moms I have ever seen (or in this case read about). This song by Chris Tomlin was just speaking to me this weekend, and it is so true "Our God is bigger, Our God is stronger, God you are higher than any other. Our God is HEALER, awesome in POWER, Our God...Our God". He is the GREAT HEALER and it is my prayer tonight that a miraculous healing take place in sweet Lucy.

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  22. I don't know you, but my heart bleeds for you and all families who deal with childhood cancer. You're so brave and honest in the way you talk about how your lives have changed. Praying for you every day - praying the prayer that you just posted. God, how I wish I could help make this go away!

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  23. I'm bowing at His feet tonight, asking for His peace to wash over you and your precious family. Asking that He would make Lucy's vomitting cease. Asking too, as I continue to everyday, that God would heal Lucy completely while she is alive and living on this earth. That He would build a hedge of protection around your family. That He would comfort sweet Ella, and make your days regain some normalcy for the time being. That He would give you strength to get through each day.

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