Softball in the South

If you are not from the South, I don't know if you can appreciate girls and softball.  Maybe it is as popular in other parts of the country..I don't know.  All I know is that here it is a way of life.  Boys play football or baseball and girls play softball.  I played growing up and even in high school so softball was always an important part of my life.  I have to say that things are just a bit different now.  It's a lot more competitive and kids work a lot harder at it at an earlier age than before.  With all this said, I've dreaded Ella joining the race for many years.  She moved up to the next league this year and admittedly, she is a little behind the curve and who knows if she will ever catch up.  But I can tell you that she has a blast and I can say that without a doubt that is all that matters.  I might not have said that even a few months ago, but having a sick child has helped me put things into a totally different perspective.  Things that mattered before don't matter now. 

I should be able to make it to most of her games, but a fever or cold might take me away for several days so I am enjoying as many of them as I can.  Her team is not likely to win many games (if any) but they are just a joy to watch.  Ella is such an angel and has the best heart.

Lucy continues to do well with Radiation.  She is still battling vomitting and feels pretty wiped out at times.  But as usual, she is such a trooper and is staying strong.  She is developing an attitude that we are having to deal with at times, but I am convinced that this strong will is what is going to pull her through this ordeal.  Being a mom is really hard right now because I want nothing more than to caudal her and give in to her every whine and whimper.  But I had a turning point moment about a week ago and I decided that it was time for me to be a mommy again.  It's been so hard, but my whole attitude and emotional wellbeing has been better.  I am no longer letting her emotions dictate my ability to parent and she seems to have responded so well.  Can you even begin to imagine how hard it is to put your sick child in time out or take her DSi away when she refuses to participate in PT? 

Well, its sheer misery.  I swear it is harder on me than it is her.  It's amazing though.  When I put my foot down and make her follow the rules, she does so well.  She immediately gets it together and just shines.  I realize she is pushing her boundaries and I admit that those boudaries have probably been extended from before.  But hey, this is a team process.  If I am asking her to adapt to change, then I guess I am too. 

This is hard on all of us.  No one said it would be easy.  I just don't know that we had a clue HOW hard it would be.  I was reminded tonight through a song on KLove that God promises that if He brings us to it He will bring us through it.  I am clinging to that thought tonight as I continue to struggle with comprehending cancer and its ability to wreck utter havoc on families and especially children. 

I am grateful tonight to be home with my family...all of them.  Erik's sisters are here and we are surrounded by cousins.  It's wonderful.  We wouldn't have it any other way. 
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  1. I have been reading your blog for a while yet haven't ever left a comment until now. please know that I am praying so hard for your little girl and for your family. There are many times throughout the week that I just stop and think, I wonder how they are doing?, and I say a quick prayer. You don't need to respond, just know that I am praying for you!

  2. Softball in IN is HUGE. Indoor touneys that go all hours...I cannot imagine 12 yo girls playing a ball game at 1am, but they do and they live for it!

  3. I've been reading for a while and just wanted to comment and let you know that your whole family is in my prayers.
    My aunt has been battling cancer for 12 years and recently posted a plea that people stop asking her 2 boys how she was doing. It was just too hard on them. Someone commented on her post by thanking her for giving the gift of an authentic perspective on what's going on and promised to take that knowledge to other relationships.
    When I read this I immediately thought of you.
    Thank you for sharing an authentic perspective on what's going on.

    One other note, I played softball for 10 years and even though I wasn't terribly talented I loved every minute of it. I'm sure Ella will enjoy it as well.

  4. I know life is NOT normal, but at the same time this is one of the most normal sounding posts in a while! Kids being kids...a mom being a mom...family being family...what could be better?!? I hope this routine sticks around for a while. Prayers of hope and thanksgiving for sure.

  5. We are going through the same thing--Kellan has responded SO much better when we stick to the rules we have at home--it's almost like she's saying, "Hey, this is not so bad that they will let me do whatever I want." It is hard on me though--part of me wants to let her do and say whatever she wants to and I feel like she has the RIGHT to have an attitude, with everything going on. You put all of those feelings into words well. We continue to pray for Lucy's healing.

    --Sarah Good (another St. Jude mom)

  6. I can't imagine how hard it can be to discipline Lucy, but it is soo important that she does her PT and in the long run i think she would rather have her walking skills than her dsi 8-) Also dont forget she is also has this part that is still just a NORMAL kid that is going to do normal kid stuff and get on her parents nerves, not listen to her parents, and so on. I just wanted to say good for you for still treating her like the kid she is and will continue to be, it's hard because the cancer is so in your face, but she sounds like one smart cookie and knows that you are being her mom and you do what you do because you love her.

  7. So happy you are with family...nothing more important!
    Remembering those days of throwing up, while doing homework. yeah, not easy. I remember though too that my mom always made me tow the line- with a little extra grace on the side. It is a mommy's job even when it is really hard. I think you probably feel like you are tough, but really just doing what you need to do :)

    PLAY BALL :)

  8. Praying for sweet Lucy. I know being a Mommy is so hard, especially going through all of the different levels of what y'all are going through at this time. My oldest son is 7, he was acting out recently not wanting to go to church, I had to take away his favorite thing, basketball for 1 day, it straightened him up but sure made me feel horrible and broke my heart. I can only imagine that feeling for you is magnified a trillion times but you are doing the right thing!

    Blessings from our family to yours!!

  9. Hi,
    My name is Marissa and I play softball for Munford High School. When my teammates and I heard about Lucy we knew we wanted to do something to help you guys out. Last season the woman who took up our gate money passed away and we had a fundraiser game in her memory, and planned to have one every season. This year we decided to have the game in honor of Lucy. We have already started selling our own version of team Lucy shirts and we know many people are planning to attend the game. We would like to donate all of the money we raise from the gate, tshirts, concession stand, and anything else on that night to your family. The game is Tuesday April 26 at our home field located behind Munford Middle School. We chose this date because we are playing Covington and hope that will draw a large crowd. The jv plays at 5pm and varsity starts at 6:30.
    Ella will do great playing softball, she's in a great sport :)
    As always we will keep Lucy in our prayers.

  10. Boundaries = Love...you are loving your children well! Keep it up. Praying for you and your family.

  11. I couldn't help but think of this song as I read this post today so I thought I'd share the lyrics and a link for you to listen. You may have heard it, by Ginny Owens? She is blind but that hasn't stopped for one beat toward using the gifts God gave her to bring Him glory!
    Maybe you can find some comfort in her words.

    I don't know you, but I have and will continue to pray for you and sweet Lucy!!


    "The pathway is broken
    And The signs are unclear
    And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
    But just because You love me the way that You do
    I'm gonna walk through the valley
    If You want me to

    Cause I'm not who I was
    When I took my first step
    And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
    so if all of these trials bring me closer to you
    Then I will walk through the fire
    If You want me to

    It may not be the way I would have chosen
    When you lead me through a world that's not my home
    But You never said it would be easy
    You only said I'd never go alone

    So When the whole world turns against me
    And I'm all by myself
    And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
    I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
    And I will go through the valley If You want me to"