If you are not from the South, I don't know if you can appreciate girls and softball. Maybe it is as popular in other parts of the country..I don't know. All I know is that here it is a way of life. Boys play football or baseball and girls play softball. I played growing up and even in high school so softball was always an important part of my life. I have to say that things are just a bit different now. It's a lot more competitive and kids work a lot harder at it at an earlier age than before. With all this said, I've dreaded Ella joining the race for many years. She moved up to the next league this year and admittedly, she is a little behind the curve and who knows if she will ever catch up. But I can tell you that she has a blast and I can say that without a doubt that is all that matters. I might not have said that even a few months ago, but having a sick child has helped me put things into a totally different perspective. Things that mattered before don't matter now.
I should be able to make it to most of her games, but a fever or cold might take me away for several days so I am enjoying as many of them as I can. Her team is not likely to win many games (if any) but they are just a joy to watch. Ella is such an angel and has the best heart.
Lucy continues to do well with Radiation. She is still battling vomitting and feels pretty wiped out at times. But as usual, she is such a trooper and is staying strong. She is developing an attitude that we are having to deal with at times, but I am convinced that this strong will is what is going to pull her through this ordeal. Being a mom is really hard right now because I want nothing more than to caudal her and give in to her every whine and whimper. But I had a turning point moment about a week ago and I decided that it was time for me to be a mommy again. It's been so hard, but my whole attitude and emotional wellbeing has been better. I am no longer letting her emotions dictate my ability to parent and she seems to have responded so well. Can you even begin to imagine how hard it is to put your sick child in time out or take her DSi away when she refuses to participate in PT?
Well, its sheer misery. I swear it is harder on me than it is her. It's amazing though. When I put my foot down and make her follow the rules, she does so well. She immediately gets it together and just shines. I realize she is pushing her boundaries and I admit that those boudaries have probably been extended from before. But hey, this is a team process. If I am asking her to adapt to change, then I guess I am too.
This is hard on all of us. No one said it would be easy. I just don't know that we had a clue HOW hard it would be. I was reminded tonight through a song on KLove that God promises that if He brings us to it He will bring us through it. I am clinging to that thought tonight as I continue to struggle with comprehending cancer and its ability to wreck utter havoc on families and especially children.
I am grateful tonight to be home with my family...all of them. Erik's sisters are here and we are surrounded by cousins. It's wonderful. We wouldn't have it any other way.