A Day

I can only imagine how Lucy feels right now.  I, personally, am utterly exhausted.  I feel as if I have a knot the size of a boulder between my shoulders...and I didn't even have the surgical procedure today.  She has stayed pretty much loopy all day on Ativan.  It was in her best interest that she not remember Apheresis today. 

She and I arrived at St. Jude this morning at 7:30am.  It is 8:10pm and we still have roughly 2-3 hours left in our journey.  Erik joined us around 1:30pm.  Lucy braved her way through waiting for her line and I cried buckets of tears as I accepted the realities of the morning situation. 

Her CD34 number had dropped drastically, making today's harvest a greater challenge than ever expected.  After consulting with 2 doctors from her team, it was decided that a bone marrow harvest was not in her best interest and we needed to get what we could today with Apheresis.  It was not a great scenario, or even a good one, but we had to work with what she had.  We don't know yet what this will mean for the future.  We have given it over to God and are asking for His divine will to be done.  I have prayed asking for a miracle a million times today. 

As I cried to my friend Kristie today, I told her that it seems that just as things start to rock along Lucy gets thrown a huge curve ball.  I'm beginning to think that God is trying to tell me that I'm spending way too much time upright, and not enough time on my knees.  Well, today I have sure made up for some lost time. 

We have to be back first thing in the morning for Lucy's MRI.  I can't say that I'm looking very forward to two extremely stressful days in a row.  The knots are already forming in my tummy.  I can, and will, pray about it all day long but there is no denying the human element of fear and worry.  For Lucy's sake, and ours, we decided to stay at the Target House tonight so we can try to get some rest and save some driving time tonight and tomorrow morning.  So today after Erik got down here, I headed back home and packed my bags, packed the kids up to stay at my mom's and then drove back to Memphis. 

It's been a day.  That's about the best thing I can say about it so far.  I am still praying for a miracle as related to the number of cells they were able to harvest.  We'll know soon enough. 

I'm signing off now.  I can hardly keep my eyes open and I'm probably writing in terrible run-on sentences with lots of grammatical errors.  And I think I may be just rambling, too. 

Sheer exhaustion.
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  1. Kate,

    As I sit here and rock my precious 11 week old baby girl who, as it feels to me, seems to have not slept in days, I think about your situation and thank God for every minute she is awake (whether she is screaming or happy). I check your blog every day and pray for you, Lucy, and your family. Your story has touched my heart and I often read your words in tears imagining the same thing happening to my little one. I, like you, don't understand why our sweet Lord allows things like this to happen...but our faith in Christ is what guides us and He will get us through our most difficult of times. Lucy is so precious and so strong-I pray that God will continue to give her a fighting spirit and that you will continue to be her biggest cheerleader! Prayers for the best possible outcome of today's procedure and tomorrow's as well. I'm anxiously awaiting a good report tomorrow!

    In Christ,
    Grace G.

  2. God bless you and keep you and give you the perfect peace that only HE can give. I have faith that HE will make this situation right and calm all of your fears. As always...praying for Lucy, you and your entire family.

  3. Kate, I'm so sorry to hear everything that Lucy, and all of you , had to endure today. I am saying extra prayers for Lucy that God will continue to bring her successfully through each of these battles, and give all of you an abundance of faith and peace as you go through this. I shed a few tears seeing her first day of school picture too, so I can only imagine what a sweet moment that was for you! Praying for you...


  4. Oh Kate...I am heartbroken as I read this. I know however that God is holding both you and Lucy and there is nothing more powerful than that. I so admire your strength and faith through every trial you have faced. Even though you may not feel it, you are an inspiration of Christianity and the power of faith. I will continue praying for your family.
    Mary Lucy Thompson
    Natchitoches, LA

  5. I am a new follower of this blog and spent a majority of my afternoon reading Lucy's story. I just wanted to let you know that Lucy and your family are in my prayers as you travel this road. I know God has a plan for Lucy and His plans are never to harm us. I just know in my spirit that she will come through this to be the carefree girl she once was. Lots of love from Northwest Indiana!

  6. Wow.... so sorry that Lucy (and you) have to go through so much. There are days when I want to ask God what more do I have to give, but that always ends up being a mistake because he shows me. Our challenges teach us (some of us... like me... are slow learners). Praying that you can take huge blessings away from this whole situation. Praying as always... Hopefully you will be able to see that light at the end of the tunnel very soon!!

  7. Kate, I try to read your blog each day, and I hope there is only good news to read for Lucy and your family. I pray that God wraps Lucy in his loving and healing Grace, that her body heals and becomes strong and cancer free. I pray for you and your family to have strength of mind and body as Lucy's treatment with God's hand destroys this cancer. Know that so so many prayers for Lucy and your entire family are being raised up to God--Bless you all.

  8. http://abcnews.go.com/Health/montana-father-medical-marijuana-cancer-stricken-toddler-son/story?id=13529490

    I thought this was interesting. Not in anyway to be offending or what not...I think doctors have the best interest, but have you researched alternative methods to fighting cancer? This is interesting stuff and tough stuff here! <3 Forever praying for your family.

  9. I want you to know that I am praying for you tonight. I pray that all of you will remain strong.