3.07.2011

Happy Birthday to You--LuLu

First I probably need to clarify my rant from this morning.  We didn't literally almost kill a doctor.  Lucy's abdomen was very tender this morning when the doctor came in to examine her.  Doing his due diligence, he ordered an ultrasound.  Lucy had begun eating the cinnamon roll that she begged for all night when all of a sudden the nurse came in and made her stop.  She told us NPO for 6 hours.  That meant no food, no liquids.  She went into hysterics.  Erik was furious and I was, too.  I just did not understand how they expected us to hold her off all day when they are pumping her full of appetite stimulant.  Geez!  After about 10 minutes of Lucy crying and screaming they agreed to wait until tomorrow morning.  So, NPO after midnight for this room tonight.  Sorry to have been so dramatic.


As you all know, today is Lucy's birthday.  About a month ago I called and booked a party for my sweet girl at Pump It Up (a bounce house place) and we invited about 30 of our closest friends.  She was looking so forward to it and I couldn't wait for her to have her special day.  And like everything in our lives, that party was thrown out the window in the blink of any eye.  Lucy had been counting down the days to her birthday party (scheduled for the week before her actual birthday) so I was dreading the moment that she realized she missed her party.  That never happened because she was in such a post-sugery, morphine-induced fog.  But a week passed by and she finally realized it the day before yesterday. 

She was laying in her bed and had been crying that she wanted to go home.  I thought we had finished the discussion and she looked up and said "Mommy, I have to go.  My birthday is in 2 days."  My heart sunk and I knew we had a problem on our hands.  That's when the power of Facebook and this blog really came into action.  Within no time at all, we had a Buzz Lightyear costume donated by In Character Productions and a wonderful cake donated by a lady named Shannon Taylor, whom I have not met but will forever be indebted.  It was beautiful!  You know, sometimes a cake just makes a party.


I was very excited and nervous all at the same time.  It appears that Lucy is depressed.  She does not want the light on, we can't open the shades, she won't talk most of the time.  It is absolutely heart wrenching.  She is just not the little girl she is supposed to be.  It just aches my very being.  But I fully understand that she has all the right in the world to be mad.  This is not what she signed up for, either.  We know we are going to have to push her harder, but it is so much easier just to hold her and try to take all the sadness away.  I was worried that she would be embarrased about being in a wheel chair and having the back of her head shaved.  I was worried that she would be overhwhelmed at all the attention being thrown her way.  And I was right.....


This was about the best smile we got out of her today.  I know she had a great time and I know she loved seeing Buzz Lightyear and I know she was glad to seee her friends....but I also know that she is sick and hurts and is very mad right now.  She did her best to put on a happy face and we made the most out of it.  It might not have been the perfect party and it was no Pump It Up, but I am just grateful that she is here and we have reason to celebrate.  She is a little miracle already and I love her even more than I did 5 minutes ago. 


A letter to my Lucy.

Dear Lucy,

I am writing you this letter on your 5th birthday.  I pray that this is the worst birthday you will ever have to face.  You are very sick right now and don't quite understand what is happening.  Your world has been turned upside down.  I know you want to be home playing with Ella and Jack and living a normal life. But for some reason, my sweet angel, God has different plans for you right now.  I don't understand it and I promise you with all my heart that if I could figure it out I would tell you.  If there was anything in this universe I could do to take this away from you I would.  I can't my sweet girl so I promise to never leave your side during your fight.  I will fight with you, cry with you, be angry with you and rejoice with you. 

It is important, Lucy, that you realize what a special child you are.  I have always known from the time you were born that you were going to do something special with your life.  I never imagined in my wildest dreams that you would have begun to accomplish that at the age of 5.  If I could only explain to you the outpouring of love and support you have received from around the world.  I am just dumbfounded.  Honestly, I am.  Lucy I see your life being used to bring revival to our town--you are unifying our city.  Your illness has brought about a new awareness of life and love to people you have never met.  Oh, sweet girl.  I never asked for you to be used this way and I am so sorry.  But you are not mine, sweet Lucy.  You belong to our Heavenly Father and he is only letting your Daddy and me borrow you for this time of earth.  Oh how I am crying out to Jesus every minute of every day to allow you to stay with me for years and years to come.  From the time you were born I have prayed that I would live long enough to see your grandchildren.  I just never could imagine that prayer being so real right now.

I have made a new vow to cherish every single moment I have with you, Ella and Jack.  Things that mattered before don't matter now.  They may never matter again.  All that matters now is getting you well and bringing you home.  I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that one way or another you are going to be fine.  My prayer daily is that God brings healing to your body while filling you with a peace that passes all understanding.  I look forward to your 6th birthday next year.  We just know we will be celebrating so many miracles! 

With all my love,

Mommy


post signature

29 comments:

  1. What a fabulous cake! And I can't believe you got Buzz himself to come to your party!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Kate & Lucy,

    Today we celebrated with and for you. The girls and i had cookies and let pink and purple balloons go with "Go Lucy Go" written on them. Lucy your Mommy is right; you have touched so many lives. God is using you mightily in His kingdom already!

    Go Lucy Go!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Kate, just read your letter to your precious child. I feel your pain, your love, and your hope and share it all with you. No child or family should have to spend a birthday like this. WE have to remember where there is life, there is hope, where there is hope there is faith, where there is faith there is God, where there is God there is love and mercy. We continue to to believe in is love and mercy even when we can't see it or feel it. I so pray for a better tomorrow for your Lucy and your family.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Lucy,
    My daughter Ella wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday! She is 4 years old and is working on a card to send to you! What a wonderful party you had! Buzz Lightyear is pretty cool, isn't he???
    Kate,
    You have no idea how many times your family comes into my mind to pray for throughout the day. Your precious Lucy has touched our family. We love her without even knowing her. You have a strong daughter who God loves even more than you possibly could! What a mighty God we serve! We are praying for you daily. Thanks for being so open and honest with your feelings!
    Ella,
    I see you being such a great big sister! Keep up the good work!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I am so glad Lucy had a great birthday!! I have been praying for Lucy and your family! I do not really know your family but I feel like I do because I enjoy reading this blog everyday just to see how your family and Lucy are doing!I live in Tipton County and I love how this small community can come together and use our upbringing and beliefs of our GOD Almighty!! I could not imagine what your family is going through right now! Yall are in my prayers daily!! GOD is great!!! ......On the side note, I had a dream last night about your family, and it was about your family and Lucy coming home and uniting with all of Tipton County! we were all there to celebrate and welcome Lucy back home.....I just know this dream is about God working and healing Lucy for good and taking away her pain!! I really cannot wait to meet your family when this day comes! I just pray everyday that that day is near!! God Bless Lucy and your family!! We love yall and are praying everyday for Lucy and your family!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Happy Birthday sweet Lucy! I think it breaks all of our hearts for her at such a young age to go through something she has no idea about. I am praying for you guys constantly and I know you will get through this. Stay strong.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Happy Birthday Lucy! Your mommy is right, you are a special little girl. I am amazed by the people that are praying for you. People from all around the world are coiming together in prayer. I know you don't understand it all but one day sweet girl you are going to have a testimony out of this world. You have put a new meaning to the word fighter and I am amazed! Hang in there! God is working in your life and in the life of others through this. I pray everyday (many times a day) BELIEVING God is going to heal your body! We love you!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Kate - your letter had me in tears (again). You are so eloquent even through your pain. Stay strong for Lucy and make sure you get rest when you can. She can do it with yours and Erik's strength. Take care and God bless you.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I am so glad the party was a success. Even if Lucy couldn't enjoy it as much as she would a pump it up party, I am sure it did everyone some good to do some celebrating of her life! What a cake and what a Buzz (glad to know we have a back up "Jan" buzz in case any of us ever need one! Lucy looked precious in her pig tails. The picture of you and her is priceless. I will pray for her somewhat depressive state. but you are right, push her...that's usually what we as adults have to do when we have those feelings...fight it, push through! I pray God will send plenty of sunshine outside soon because that helps our mood! Here's to already looking forward to a big "6" year old party! Love, Laura

    ReplyDelete
  10. Keep fighting little Lucy. What a strong young lady you are. 5 years old and already overcome more than most adults. God bless you sweet child.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Yes, Kate, what miracles all of our children are! Sometimes that is so easy to forget, & to get caught up in all of the little things, when really we should be praising God for even the tiniest blessing... Lucy had an unforgettable 5th birthday! What a cool cake & Buzz?! Wow! I pray that Lucy will be filled with hope, peace, and strength for what lies ahead... love, cherri & family

    ReplyDelete
  12. What a beautiful cake for a beautiful little girl! Happy birthday Lucy! Praying for you all the way in Nova Scotia, Canada!! I also posted your button on my blog to spread the word!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Happy Birthday Lucy,birthday wishes are coming all the way from Massachusetts!

    Kate,your strength as a mother is amazing and unwavering your children are blessed to have you! I continue to keep you & your family in my prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  14. When Lucy is better and home, we will have a huge celebration, as a county. We will have all of the moon bounces any little girl could wish for. We will see to that!=)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Happy Birthday, Lucy! We continue to pray for Lucy and for your family. I believe we will see God work so many miracles because of Lucy's sweet life!

    ReplyDelete
  16. It was also my sons 5th birthday. I thought about y'all all day! I check here several times a day to see of you've posted anything new about missLucy! Prayers with all of you!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Happy Birthday Sweet Lucy!!! Praying for strength and comfort for you and your family.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Happy Birthday to your Sweet Lucy!! I am praying for many more... 'To Infinity and Beyond'!!

    ReplyDelete
  19. this was so beautifully written...my heart hurst for your family knowing a little bit about what you are dealing with.

    praying for lucy and for her joyful spirit to return. you are a wonderful mom to her! she is lucky to have you!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Your blog was on a friends prayer chain for your sweet, Lucy! Her story break my heart but we know you will win fight against that nasty cancer and celebrating many more birthdays!
    Prayer for your family and Lucy!!!

    ReplyDelete
  21. I read your post for the first time two days ago and I have prayed for you and your family ever since. Last night I was reading it and as I read I began to cry. My three-year-old daughter came to sit on my lap and asked me what was wrong. I told her I was sad for a little girl who is sick and her family. She wanted to see Lucy's picture and I showed her. At bedtime we were saying our prayers and she said, "Mom, what was that girl's name?" I said, "Lucy." And she took my hand in her small hand and whispered, "Dear God, please make Lucy not sick anymore." I pray the Maker of Heaven and Earth hears the heart-felt prayer of a my daughter and heals your precious child. I love your family even though I don't know you and we are praying for you from Central Missouri.

    ReplyDelete
  22. WOW Buzz LightYear and a BEAUTIFUL BLY cake!!! So terrific!!!!!!!!

    Happy 5th Birthday beautiful girl,
    Petrii in MO

    ReplyDelete
  23. Kate, I began praying for Lucy last week, when Kelly's Korner blog ask special prayer. I have not stopped. My husband is a pastor and I teach the 4 & 5 year olds at our church. This past Sunday, I printed a pic of Lucy for my class and ask them to pray for her. Our lesson was on Jesus healing Peter's mother in law, and the aim was to teach them to pray for others, that Jesus uses Doctors, Mommies, and us to help heal. So know that Madison, Jordana, Preston, and Brayden, our church senior adults, and some others that I have shared with are praying for her daily!! We will keep up with your precious blog and stay praying! Remember God is Love. Romans 5:39 "Nor height, Nor Depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Cancer is a creature!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Happy birthday, sweet Lucy. I pray you are able to feel Jesus carry you through this often painful journey. We are praying and hoping and also rejoicing - turning 5 is a BIG deal! :)

    ReplyDelete
  25. Lucy and I share a Birthday and last night when I blew out my candles and my oldest daughter (3.5 years old) asked me what I wished for I just smiled...while I don't know you or your family my heart aches for you, its only fair that Lucy gets my wish this year. Happy Birthday Sweet Lucy!!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Even though Lucy did not have the party she had planned with her friends this year it just gives you a full year to plan a huge celebration when she is well next year. We are wishing you many more happy birtdays for years ead years to come. BTW, What a beautiful letter to Lucy! (tears) Happy Birthday Lucy!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Hi, I was turned to this blog by a message board that I belong. As I was reading this post about your amazing daughter's birthday, one of the American Cancer Society's "Happy Birthday" commercials came on my TV in the background. It gave me a sense of peace about Lucy as I was reading about her, and even though you don't know me I wanted to tell you about it hoping it would bring you the same peace. The commercial says "Here's to more birthdays" and I wish the same for Lucy. God bless you, your family, and Lucy.

    ReplyDelete
  28. I found your blog through the link on Adrienne's blog. My heart is just aching for you and your family and especially your sweet Lucy. I have an almost 3 year old and almost 1 year old, both boys, and I can only hope I would be as strong as you if we had to deal with something like this. Your faith is truly inspiring and it makes me happy to know that you have that to help bring you through this time. I pray with all my heart that God returns Lucy to you as soon as He is finished with His plan for her. Just remember that God chose yall to be Lucy's parents for a reason! He knows He got the right ones for this job. GOD BLESS YOU!!!

    www.craigandamandanall.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  29. Dear Lucy,Erik, and Kate,
    Hi I'm Reagan I'm 11 years old and i have never stopped praying for you Lucy. I know that God is putting you through this for a reason and we may not know that reason but God does. I hope the God heals you very soon and I want you to know that I am most definately going to be praying for you until you get well. Everynight when my family had dinner and we are saying the blessing I am praying for you and before I go to bed I pray for you. God has some plans for you Lucy and they are big and I can't wait for you to get well.
    Love, Reagan

    ReplyDelete