3.13.2011

It Is Well With My Soul

I will start off by telling you that for 80% of the day, Lucy did wonderful. She was alert, fairly talkative and eager to get out of bed. We took 2 wagon rides and then 1 wheelchair ride. We even rolled outside for some fresh air and picked a yellow flower. That didn't last very long because due to the steroids she is taking she is so sensitive to any outside stimuli that she goes crazy. It was nearly 65 degrees and she was screaming that she was freezing. I hate these steroids.

(another effect of these awful steroids is that she is starting to swell---all over.) Her feet are so fat I doubt her shoes will fit and her little face is so puffy that she does not even look like herself. At St. Jude they call this "moon face." I hope we will be off of these soon, but if they are necessary then a round face is the least of our worries.

She painted for a few minutes......

And then she was done. Believe me when I say she crashed HARD! Our perfectly, wonderful day came to a crashing halt. As I mentioned above the steroids that she is taking make her super irritable and very sensitive to any stimulation. She doesn't even like to watch TV most days. And when she does the volume has to be turned down and she watches for only a very short period of time. Light bothers her and she does not want us talking most of the time. Oh, but when she does want to talk I savor every little word that comes from her sweet little mouth. Everything is almost a whisper and I just bathe myself in her voice. She seems so meek and innocent right now. Such a precious angel.

While she was resting I snuck out to Target. I have two other children to feed and clothe and a Target run was a necessity. It was nice getting out of the hospital today. The weather was nice and as I drove I listened to K-Love and had my own Sunday worship service.

Erik's parents came back into town to help with the Ella and Jack for a few more weeks. No one knows how long they will be staying--we just take things day by day. I'm hoping that fairly soon we will at least be week by week.

My other 2 angels came for a quick visit tonight: 




My mom left Jack's Sunday clothes on so I could see how cute he was.  Ella is always beautiful, so there was no need in keeping her in a smocked dress all day. 




Even though things got hairy at the end of the day, I have to tell you that today was a good day.  Lucy seemed to have made a lot of progress in even a day's time.  Just her attitude alone was so reassuring.  Today I have hope.  Lots of it.  As each day passes I learn to be so thankful for the good days.  I guess eventually I will learn to just survive the bad ones.  But today, if only for today, IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL.

4-Him is one of my favorite Christian groups.  If you were to only own one CD of hymns, I would recommend theirs




Though Satan should buffet,
though trials should come,
let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.



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21 comments:

  1. I want to write to you. I want to encourage you! Say something that will minister to your aching heart, be so profound that you'd know it was straight from God! But I'm just me! A friend who loves you and your precious family so very much and wants you to know somehow that so many people are praying and caring for all of you! I know you've been told that! But it's more than just words! I received a note tonight that I hope to forward to you. I will do so with that person's permission! It's amazing how people's lives are being changed by what sweet Lucy in going through. I know at times you get sick of hearing that, that you don't care what good is coming from it, you just want Lucy healthy and your life back to normal. I wish that for you, too! But be encouraged that something good can come out of something so terribly horrible. I don't understand it, Kate! I just know there is something supernatural occurring here that can not be explained!
    We love you and will continue to lift you up to the ONE who loves far beyond what any of us are capable of loving!
    Pat Ennis

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  2. Hi Kate, a friend of mine posted your blog on facebook and I have to say I was very touched by Lucy's story. I own a childrens clothing line called Pink Cupcake Couture. I know how Lucy feels with the steroid treatment and I would like to offer her a couple of free outfits considering some of her old clothes may not fit her. If you could just email me her size and where to send them Id be more than happy to custom make some things for her. My email is pinkcupcakecouture@yahoo.com. We have a facebook page if you'd like to check it out! Hope you have a great day and Lucy and your family are in my prayers.

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  3. Kate,
    hold on to the good days, the small steps and Gods unseen hand. I know without a doubt God is healing Lucy. In His ways, In His timing. You are so blessed to have grandparents that can and will take up with Ella & Jack so you can be there with Lucy. I am still praying for Lucy, you , Erik, Jack & Ella! Much Love my friend.
    Kerri Roe Taylor

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  4. Lucy is beautiful as well as Ella and Jack...Your story so touches my heart....Sending many prayers

    Teresa

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  5. I came across your blog through post on facebook! Lucy has been a big part of my daily prayers! As a new mother, I am amazed at your strength to walk through this with the determination that you do when it would be so easy to shut down. I will continue to pray for Lucy that she may continue to gain strength and my prayer for you and your husband that you will feel the prayers for comfort surrounding you. Lastly, here is something I received from the leader of my bible study and I immediately thought of you! ....Heart Troubles” (Jan Dravecky) Exodus 20: 1-26
        “So many things can trouble our hearts. Unpaid bills. A
    frightening medical prognosis. Loss of a job. The death of a loved
    one. Upcoming surgery. An unexpected move. An argument with a close
    friend. A savage rumor. A church dispute.
        The world is full of “heart troublers,” and it always will be. Yet
    Jesus does not want our hearts to remain troubled. And he does not
    expect us to deal with those troubles so much by ignoring them as by
    turning toward him. As he said to his anxious disciples in John 14:1,
    “Trust in God, trust also in me.”
        When suffering and persecution and pain and difficulties do is not
    so much make us weak, as show us we are weak. Without them, we can
    deceive ourselves into believing we’re prizefighters. With them, we’re
    reminded that we’re not constructed to function on our own powers. The
    trick is to allow suffering to be used as a tool to help us depend on
    God and not on ourselves.
        God didn’t go halfway when he went to work on my behalf. He did it
    all. Even when I couldn’t feel him, even when I couldn’t sense him,
    even when I wasn’t holding on to him anymore, God worked on my behalf.
    He didn’t need me to do a thing!
        When I faced far worse than my worst imaginings, something
    unexpected and wonderful happened. I realized that God is in control
    and God is good — even when bad things happen in our lives.
        Even though I don’t know what I might have to go through next, I
    could rest and accept it. Because now I knew that when I let go, I
    would fall into the strong hands of God.”

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  6. Kate--
    Sounds like a WONDERFUL day!! When you said something about having your own sunday service it made me think..our church-Heartsong Church-is actually starting to live stream our 11am celebration. I know your schedule is nutty with not really having one. But I wanted to share our churchs website-www.heartsongchurch.net--not only have they started live streaming at 11am BUT the messages are all on the site AND you can download them for FREE off I-tunes. I didnt know if you were interested at all in any of this info, but I thought Id share it especially since you say alot that you and Erik read all your messages! =)
    I am soo excited about your great day!! I know Lucy has SOO many prayer warriors on her side =) And your faith, strength AND ability to be real-bc cancer SUCKS! is soo uplifting and encouraging to all of us!! I believe we may get more out of reading your posts than anything else. I think of your family constantly and pray soo hard for Gods favor in your lives.
    Thank you for allowing all of us to be a part of your daily lives and Praise Jesus for days like yall had today!

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  7. Still thinking about you and praying for you everyday! Love you! "Sari"

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  8. Hi Kate! I'm so glad to see it was a good day today. (Every day with your babies is a good day though, right?) I pray for you & Lucy & everyone involved in this battle every time I think of her....I saw several pink & purple ribbons in Atoka today ... and prayed. My 12 year old son actually saw the ribbon first and said "Mom, there's a ribbon for little Lucy! .. Won't it be awesome when she beats this and we can throw all the ribbons away?" See, his very best friend battled cancer when he was Lucy's age...and he knew he would beat it ... Joe just simply said one day, "I know I'm gonna be okay because I asked Jesus to make me better." That was it...that was the extent of his anxiety over it. Oh, he had terribly bad days and there were days where we did nothing but fast & pray and barely breathed; but in hindsight, I think he endured everything because he knew in his little heart he was going to defeat it - even when, honestly, we just didn't know what the outcome would be...He just knew because he asked Jesus. My prayer for you tonight is that you will continue to have that hope and that faith - and that it won't falter and the enemy will not make you question it. Lucy is going to beat this and God is going to use her and everyone else she has touched thru this storm for His glory. I hope you have a peaceful night tonight. In Him, Laura

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  9. Continuing to pray for y'all, I am so glad you had a good day, I know you definitely needed one!

    Kate, I can't even put into words how many people I have spoken with that know about Lucy's story and have already been changed because of that precious little girl. God sure is doing some great things with her little life and although it must be the hardest thing in the world to see her go through this, we know He must have something spectacular in store.

    Please let me know if there is anything at all I can do for you.

    Melody

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  10. Hi Kate:

    I found your blog through a blog through a blog through a blog....you know how it works! I too love the 4Him Hyms CD--it's so often just what I need to hear.

    I wanted to tell you that my little boy (almost 4 years old) and I prayed for your family and especially for Lucy tonight at his bedtime. We specifically prayed for healing in her back. Without telling you all the details of why it matters so much in my life right now, I want you to know that your story is encouraging me to treasure every moment with my son and my husband. Thank you.

    We will continue to pray for your family and follow your story.
    May God bless you all.

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  11. Kate,

    This is Zach again. I am so encouraged to hear that Lucy is starting to have more good days than bad! Even though there are still some things that bother her, it is great to see her wanting to get up and get outside. My prayer for her and for yall is that the good days continue to outweigh the bad ones. Emily and I continue to pray without ceasing for you all and to seek God's face for Lucy and you too! If you get a chance, read Psalm 24 and Psalm 27 - these 2 chapters have really spoken to me recently! We love yall and continue to trust in the Lord for the healing of the body and the mind.

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  12. Kate - HUGS!!!!! My heart just aches for you momma.

    The part where you said you savor each thing that comes out of sweet Lucy's mouth really hit home for me. It took me back 6 years when my mom was fighting her battle with cancer.

    I am still praying for you all. PLEASE give Lucy my love!!!

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  13. Friend of a friend again...

    I'm so glad to hear that she's having good days. You family continues to be in my prayers. All of your children are beautiful.

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  14. Kate, Erik, Lucy, Ella and baby Jack:

    Oh my dear family! I'm so happy to hear that Lucy had a good day. And I'm so happy to see how encourage are you.
    You talk like a brave mother, and I'm sure that all your bravery will be really useful in this process.

    Just want to let you a litte text, that I always found incredibly comforting:

    Then Jesus said to his disciples: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?

    Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.

    Luke, 12, 22-27.

    Don't loose the faith in God, I'm sure he is listening to all our prayers.

    A really big hug that involve all of you, a hundred of kisses, and a hundred of prayers are with all of you.

    Pilar from Uruguay

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  15. HI Kate:

    I could not find an address to mail Lucy a card but would love to do so...could you please post an address or even feel free to respond to me at dawnpigg@gmail.com (even though I understand you most likely do not have the time, and that is okay). I know others would like to send cards as well.

    Thanks and we are continuing to pray!

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  16. Kate/Erik -- We continue to lift up Lucy and you both and you are in our families thoughts & prayers each day...we had several folks asking about Lucy at CUMC yesterday and many folks there are praying too! Stay strong!

    Steve, Marlene, Tyler, and Tara

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  17. Please disregard my previous post regarding an address...I remembered it had been posted farther back and found it. Thanks :)

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  18. sending lots of love and hugs lucy's way:) it has really warmed my heart to see a few smiles on that sweet face! praying for you all, all the time.

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  19. Sweet Lucy I know just how you feel when it comes to the steroids. I spent most of my childhood on steroids due to severe asthma. The swelling & irritability I remember all to well! I am praying for you every day! I have never met you but you have already became part of my life. Praying for a complete healing and for the nast side effects to go away! xoxoxoxoxo

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  20. i don't know y'all, but a friend gave me your blog to check out. as the mom of 3 boys under 5, my heart aches for what you are going through. but wow...what a testimony you are living out through your faith and determination! please know that i'm praying here in tupelo, mississippi!
    laura henson

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